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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my child in her class photo

123 replies

amysmum18 · 05/05/2016 15:56

DD has been off school today with tonsillitis. Sad She's feeling a lot better but may not be well enough for school tomorrow. The yearly class photos are taking place tomorrow and she really wants to be in it. I'd be really disappointed if she missed it. She's in reception so this would be her first class picture.
AIBU to ask the school if she could come in just to be in the picture. She would literally arrive in the room, stand there for the photo and then be whisked back off home.

OP posts:
Original poster
amysmum18 · 05/05/2016 19:56

She's 5 diddl These are the sort of things that are important to her.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 05/05/2016 19:57

I don't think it would be unreasonable. 10 minutes to take a pic is v different to an entire day. However class photo is only something I have bought once (when kids left the school). My dd was off sick this year (her first at this school). I wasn't bothered as I didn't buy her brothers' photos either. I am not sure they know the exact time.

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 19:57

What's your issue Molly? I get the concern about infections but you seem to be mainly bothered she won't be spending the full day at school Hmm

MerryMarigold · 05/05/2016 19:58

Sorry, didn't finish. Not sure the teachers know the exact time the pic will be taken so you may be hanging around for an hour or something.

Original poster
amysmum18 · 05/05/2016 20:00

Bit harsh Molly She just wants to be in her class picture, she's hardly going to be sweeping in with an entourage like she's in 'The Devil Wears Prada' x

OP posts:
MrsGuyOfGisbo · 05/05/2016 20:02

Really, don't bother. Even if you buy it ( I have bought several) they will never be looked at - unless she becomes v. famous - in which case other families will being theirs out to show her off) or she doesn't - in which case she really won't care.

lifesalongsong · 05/05/2016 20:02

I can't believe some of the replies. As long as the school are OK with your DD popping in for a few minutes for the photo I can't see any problem at all.

It's obviously nonsense to say that just because someone feels OK to get dressed and go out for a very short time they are OK to be in school for a full day. Have you never been ill? It's perfectly possible to feel OK for periods of the day.

It's Friday tomorrow so she'll have the weekend to recover. No other child is at any more risk of catching anything than they were when she was there yesterday. I'm assuming the OP would have mentioned any immune surpressed children if they existed.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 05/05/2016 20:06

YANBU.
To the people saying if she's well enough to go and have the photo taken then she's well enough to go for the full day... Well not really. This is what, 20 minutes? A full day is a full day and all that entails.
Do children who are off sick stay indoors at home for the entire time they are off sick? And I mean the entire time. What if the parents really need to nip to the shop?

Op, it seems such a shame for her to miss it. I would definitely have a word with the school and see if she is allowed to come in. She can then go home again. People saying she should go in for the full day are just being silly as it isn't comparable.

Rezolution123 · 05/05/2016 20:08

This happened to my daughter when she had glandular fever and they just photo-shopped her in the photo afterwards.
Don't know whether they could do this in your case though.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 05/05/2016 20:10

I'm assuming the OP would have mentioned any immune surpressed children if they existed.

Exactly. And the school will tell her if there are any such children, in which case they wouldn't let her DD go in. It's not like the Op is just turning up without a prior conversation about it.

You never know if you don't ask.

bakeoffcake · 05/05/2016 20:15

Both my DDs were susceptible to tonsillitis at that age, they were always really poorly with it. I'd be furious if I found out an infectious child had been brought into school for a photo. Angry

OP you say you don't know about the incubation period and if she's still infectious etc. Well bloody well read up on it, find out if she's still infectious. If she is then no don't take her in!

avocadosweet · 05/05/2016 20:23

How does she even know what a class photo is?

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 05/05/2016 20:23

Oh don't worry OP, you get many replies on posts here where something that is important to you or your child shouldn't be because someone on MN couldn't give a shit about it.

I like school photos. First ones are important to me. I'd definitely phone the school and ask if she could be in it. I agree with the seeing how they grow up too. I love DS's first class picture and I want the same for DD as well. I didn't get to be in my Year 7 class photo as I was off ill that day and I've never forgotten it. I always keep stuff like that and like to look back over it.

Being in a few minutes for a photo is nothing like going in for the day ffs. Like anyone couldn't see the difference Hmm. Oh wait, this is AIBU.

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou · 05/05/2016 20:24

It's obviously nonsense to say that just because someone feels OK to get dressed and go out for a very short time they are OK to be in school for a full day. Have you never been ill? It's perfectly possible to feel OK for periods of the day

EXCEPT, its not a few minutes is it? The whole school wil be getting photos, how will OP know what time to go? And what if they swap the order around then, or there is some delay (which there always is)? IT's not a few minutes, by any stretch. By the time you get dressed,ge to school, hang around, get home, its more likely an hour or two.

Penguin - you're entitled to your opinion but you weren't the one dealing with a crying 5yr old when she thought she wouldn't get to be in her picture

And you're there encouraging her and telling her you will bring her anyway, despite her being to sick for school? Why not just be a parent and tell her she's being silly and there will be more photos?

Originalfoogirl · 05/05/2016 20:28

bakeoffcake same here. I was plagued with it as a child and our daughter is the same. I wouldn't be happy if someone knowingly put her at risk of it for the sake of a photo. Especially as, pretty much every school photo she's had was horrific.

I get that a five year old can be upset at missing a photo. Ours would have have been the same. However, if she was crying wildly about it, I'd simply be telling her to get over it. She missed her Christmas show because she was poorly. Sure she was upset but realised it wasn't a big deal.

DMjournosrscum · 05/05/2016 20:28

Get the photographer to photoshop her inGrin

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 05/05/2016 20:29

how will OP know what time to go

I'm assuming the school will be organised and will have a schedule?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 05/05/2016 20:36

I'm glad the school are happy for her to go in - that's lovely. It's really nice to have all their school photos (name all the kids now while you remember their names 😬... unless it's one of the ones that print the names on them, I love those!)

bakeoffcake · 05/05/2016 20:37

I'm just wondering what other illnesses you'd think it would be ok to take her in with

Chicken pox?
Vomiting bug?
Flu?
Hacking cough?

All of these are contagious, just like tonsillitis. Or is it just because you can't see or hear the tonsillitis, that you think it's ok to take her in?

Marmitemadmummy · 05/05/2016 20:56

Your child was probably contagious yesterday all day with her class so I don't think it will matter for another short while. I love school photos even if they are shocking I like to see the changes in the class year on year. I took my DD in for a school fair held during school time once when she had chicken pox. The school knew she had it as it was the day her Spots came out. We literally spent 5 minutes at the fair and came home.

Floggingmolly · 05/05/2016 20:58

Why in the name of God did you do that, Marmite? Confused

Marmitemadmummy · 05/05/2016 21:00

Because the children had planned it for weeks and DD really wanted to go. School were fine.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 05/05/2016 21:01

FFS marmite what an idiotic thing to do. School fair doesn't even mean anything! I bet you are one of them who don't let something like CP interfere with their lives at all and carry on a s normal. I know some of them. One took her child to fucking Disney Land with it!

CalleighDoodle · 05/05/2016 21:03

Id be rrally annoyed about a child in school with tonsillitis because I get it myself regularly.

However, modern class photos are taken in stages of for example 5 kids and then put together. So she might even be able to stand on her own with no orher child around and still the photo will look like she was there at the same tIme.

Floggingmolly · 05/05/2016 21:03

DD really wanted to go... There's really no answer to that, is there? Hmm

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