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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my child in her class photo

123 replies

amysmum18 · 05/05/2016 15:56

DD has been off school today with tonsillitis. Sad She's feeling a lot better but may not be well enough for school tomorrow. The yearly class photos are taking place tomorrow and she really wants to be in it. I'd be really disappointed if she missed it. She's in reception so this would be her first class picture.
AIBU to ask the school if she could come in just to be in the picture. She would literally arrive in the room, stand there for the photo and then be whisked back off home.

OP posts:
diddl · 05/05/2016 21:10

"She's 5 diddl These are the sort of things that are important to her."

Confused

How does she know about them?

Who keeps reminding her?

KERALA1 · 05/05/2016 21:36

The selfish entitlement on this thread is jaw dropping. I will do what I (or my child) want sod everyone else.

TheNaze73 · 05/05/2016 21:54

YABU. There's not one part of me that thinks you should do that

Pseudo341 · 05/05/2016 22:02

YABU. Tonsillitis is a symptom of many illnesses. She could have something minor, she could having something serious that you've not seen the full extent of yet. One of her classmates could have a compromised immune system, or a newborn sibling, or a pregnant mum, or be visiting a seriously ill relative in hospital. You have no idea what the consequences could be for someone else.

NewLife4Me · 05/05/2016 22:50

There's plenty of things my dc wanted to do at her age too, i'm not sure I'd pander to little snowflakes, making a rod and all that.
Wouldn't you rather do the responsible thing and teach your child that you need to get over little disappointments, obviously you weren't taught this and your wants must come first Sad

Originalfoogirl · 05/05/2016 23:20

newlife4me Our 6 year old got pretty upset she wasn't allowed to vote tonight at the polling station. I'm wondering who I call to sort that out 🙄

AngieBolen · 06/05/2016 07:17

I'm impressed the school know exactly what time you should go in for the photo. Even if they know early years will go first and year six last thee could be a hold up and you'll be hanging around for at least half an hour.

But if you're prepared for that with a poorly child....

Teddy1410 · 06/05/2016 11:14

People are so ridiculous. There's a big difference between chucking clothes on and going out for 15 minutes and going to school for the day!!
And no YANBU, it's your baby's first school photo obviously you want her to be in it! Take her in and then take her home for cuddles on the sofa!
She'll be disappointed too when everyone else gets the packs to buy the photo and she's not in it!

PinkFondantFancy · 06/05/2016 11:25

FFS marmite you selfish idiot. You clearly have no idea how dangerous chicken pox is for the many immune compromised people around. But clearly it's worth endangering them because your poor child would have been a bit sad to have missed the school fair. ARGH raging!!!!

I have no idea how contagious tonsillitis is or how poorly it makes a child. I would imagine hanging around at school if you're feeling poorly is not a lot of fun in any case so I'd give it a miss, it's really not that important in the scheme of things.

I'll tell you something though - if you came in and stood your ill child next to my immune compromised one for a photo I would be furious.

SteelyPip · 06/05/2016 11:26

Hi,

My little boy was ill for his Y1 class photo a little while ago, so I phoned the photographers when he was better and asked if I could come in for a studio shot which they could photoshop onto the original. They were very happy to oblige, fitted me in the next day - and what's more they didn't charge me!

What's even better is they held back the proofs too, so he's on the original photo, not just mine.

Amazing customer service Tulip Photographers, Weston-Super-Mare big round of applause for you guys.

RattusRattus · 06/05/2016 11:26

How does she even know what a class photo is?

This.

There's no way any of the kids in my class (Reception) would give a flying fandango about this.

We had our class pics taken a while back. They were rubbish so they weren't released to the parents. We've not had even one, single query about what has happened to the pics from a parent or any of the children. People only realised they hadn't materialised when we re-did the shoot with another photographer.

RattusRattus · 06/05/2016 11:29

Marmite Angry FFS.

HidingUnderARock · 06/05/2016 11:34

If she is not infectious then absolutely YNBU, however its up to the school so you will have to ask them.
If she is infectious or the school choose to BU then you will have to accept that she can't be there.
I think my DCs' schools would allow this so long as the child is not infectious.

asstnitoma · 06/05/2016 11:35

Tonsillitis is only infectious through bodily fluids...there isn't an incubation period, basically when the child is well enough to attend school they can go back. I can't see a problem with you taking her in just for the picture to be taken.

Foxedme · 06/05/2016 11:37

Take her in for the photo. It's not like it's chicken pox or impetigo!
Get the pic done and then take her home. No biggy.

If you have other children at school she's presumably there at pick up and drop off every day and people could easily pick it up. It might not be contagious anyway. It's all fine.

RattusRattus · 06/05/2016 11:37

There's also the thing that she will look ill in the photo. I've got pics of my DC that were taken when they were poorly and you can tell immediately that they are feeling rough. Do you really want that?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/05/2016 11:40

Since the school have agreed, then this is pretty redundant as a post but anyway - DS1 was going to miss his school photo, as he was away that day. I spoke to the school, who gave me the school photographer's number, and they were more than happy for me to go up to the photographers' studio and do his photo individually, and then photoshop him into his class photo afterwards.

In this day and age, it's pretty simple to do that, so why don't you call the photographers and ask them if you can do that instead of taking her into school? That way she can wait until she's a bit better, maybe, and not looking sick and swollen.

Dumbledoresgirl · 06/05/2016 11:43

My eldest was clearly feeling rather off when the photographer came to take his reception class photo (not the same thing as your dilemma as my son was already at school and I was unaware he was feeling ill). There he stands, as white as a sheet, unsmiling, amongst a class of happy 5 year olds. Yes, I bought the picture as I have bought every class and most individual photos for all of my children, but 15 years later, I have to tell you, it is not a photo I look on with any pleasure as my son looks so unhappy.

I understand the disappointment. 4 kids, collectively 49 years of annual photos (Shock) and I still remember the disappointment I felt when dd was sick the day before photo day, but I didn't take her in.

Oakmaiden · 06/05/2016 11:44

Good grief - I have had children in my class who have tonsillitis and still come to school. And when I caught tonsillitus off them I continued to some to school and teach them (though I felt like death warmed up and couldn't speak above a whisper). Classrooms are never germ free places - chances are the child with chicken pox and the one with tonsillitus both caught it at school and passed it on to their peers before they even knew they were ill.

Obviously the situation changes if you know there is an immune compromised child/ pregnant teacher in the room - but in that case the school would let you know that popping in for the photo was not appropriate.

blindsider · 06/05/2016 11:47

Amysmum

She's 5 diddl These are the sort of things that are important to her.

she is 5, EVERYTHING is important to a 5 year old. They also have the attention span of a gnat and will be onto the next 'important' thing before you can blink....

Sundance01 · 06/05/2016 11:47

By all means ask - but expect a NO.

Whilst momentarily disappointing it really is not going to ruin her life in any way whatsoever.

GinAndSonic · 06/05/2016 11:49

It's just me that sends the kids to school with tonsillitis then?

GrandMarmoset · 06/05/2016 11:56

When I was a teacher, we would let them come in just for the picture.

GinAndSonic · 06/05/2016 11:57

Just rtft, I didn't realise sending kids in with tonsillitis is so frowned upon. I've taken mine to the gp then immediately to schook with their antibiotics to be given by staff. Gp knows, school knows, nobody ever told me it's not ok. I only keep them off if they are very unwell with it.
If I kept my kids off every time they had an illness them they'd never be in school.

awesomeness · 06/05/2016 11:57

I did write a long post, but deleted it because I started ranting.

your incredibly selfish and as a person with a family member with no immune system, your actions could kill, and no I'm not being over dramatic

it's not for your daughter, it's for you, it's nasty and selfish