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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naming ceremony

113 replies

Customernumberone · 05/05/2016 11:18

We've been invited to a naming ceremony Hmm
Regardless of my feelings towards these events (along with baby showers and the like) do we have to take a gift? What would be appropriate? It's about a month before the babies' first birthday, for which we'll buy a gift, and we're skint. I would say £5 budget per gift.

For the AIBU - AIBU to fucking hate these things and be dreading it?!?!? And to be pissed off it's so close to 1st birthday? If there's a party for that I will not be going!!

OP posts:
Queenbean · 05/05/2016 11:20

What's a naming ceremony?!

Hasn't the baby had a name for the past 10 months then?

EssentialHummus · 05/05/2016 11:22

Surely they've been named for 11 months already? Confused I think one gift to cover this and birthday is just fine.

Fratelli · 05/05/2016 11:22

Don't go? I wouldn’t want you there if you were resenting being there. It's essentially a Christening without the religious element. I prefer that over people standing in a Church saying they believe in God when they don't.
Just get some clothes or teddy or whatever if you do go.

Verticalvenetianblinds · 05/05/2016 11:22

Surely it's their equivalent of a christening? Would you buy a pressie for a christening and then a birthday present? If yes you are bvu

GastonsPomPomWrath · 05/05/2016 11:22

Well it is supposed to be like a christening so yes I would take a gift if it was me. What about a book? Mr Men books aren't dear, you could get 2 or 3 for the naming ceremony and the birthday and start of a collection for the baby.

Leggytadpole · 05/05/2016 11:24

YABU. Do you feel the same way about christenings?

IfTheCapFitsWearIt · 05/05/2016 11:25

Wow would you and pp be such twats about being invited to a christening?

Leggytadpole · 05/05/2016 11:27

Oh and if you are invited to go to the 1st birthday party and refuse because you are sooo pissed off then I don't think its a great shame for the family.

Original poster
Customernumberone · 05/05/2016 11:29

Probably wouldn't want to go to a christening, no. I'm not religious in any way. A christening is about God and what have you; if there's no God involved (ie in a naming ceremony) what's the point?

Like pps have said, baby has had the name for 10 months. Confused

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 05/05/2016 11:35

it's celebrating a child and welcoming it into your wider family and friends - how utterly awful Hmm

it's the none religious version of a Christening - if you don't want to go then don't

NapQueen · 05/05/2016 11:37

Im with the OP i think they are pointless. Im an atheist so whilst I would attend a close friends kids christening I wouldnt for an aquaintance. Nor have I christened my kids.

I took a gift for the last christening I attended and tbh if I attended the naming ceremony (is there actually a ceremony?? Am curious) then id not go empty handed.

Leggytadpole · 05/05/2016 11:37

Maybe some people like to have a gathering of family and friends to celebrate their new arrival (and sometimes it's easier when the baby is a bit older)and introduce the baby to the wider circle of family and friends. I don't think the family work be offended by a lack of a gift, in my eyes it's more about gathering together and having a happy celebration.

Isn't it nice to celebrate these occasions with others? Maybe not if you're a miserable cow.

minipie · 05/05/2016 11:38

What's the point? Well, it's a way of welcoming and introducing the baby. An excuse for a party and celebration. Given the timing, I expect they won't have a 1st birthday party as well (I would be a bit Hmm if they do).

You could just as easily say that a 1st birthday party is pointless (since the baby will not have a clue it's their birthday).

Just get one present.

Malvolia · 05/05/2016 11:39

The point, presumably, is that the parents are equally uninterested in organised religion, but don't see why that shouldn't entail evolving some secular equivalent to christening/baptism.

mmmminx · 05/05/2016 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JuxtapositionRecords · 05/05/2016 11:43

Why are people so sneery about these things (I didn't have one for my DC before I get jumped on)? Just don't go, and tell them why. But I'm assuming you won't do that and instead you will go along and then just bitch behind their backs.

PPie10 · 05/05/2016 11:47

You should decline, I'm sure they could do without your misery and sneery attitude on the day.

EssentialHummus · 05/05/2016 11:50

If there's a birthday party on top of this ceremony, I think it's OTT (though OP hasn't said there is). Also, out of genuine curiousity, could someone explain what a naming ceremony entails? I've never heard of this, and I'm imagining a baptism, just in someone's front room. Who officiates, for example? What happens?

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 11:55

God I hate these threads. Why are you friends with these people if you hate them so much?

And the thought that people do them for the presents - yes, thats why I paid for everyone to have a lovely afternoon tea, in a gorgeous venue, so i could have a pile of stuff which has lived in a cupboard ever since gathering dust Hmm

No one likes silver money boxes that much. Didn't expect any presents at all.

We wanted to welcome DS into family as others have said. Also really nice to get family together, we're all scattered so its really nice to get everyone together.

In terms of what happens - up to you! Some people have humanist ones, sometimes in a garden, wherever really. Ours was a registry office, with registrar, bit like reg office wedding I guess. Few poems that we chose, a few promises to look after him, welcome him into the family, that sort of thing. Then tea and cake.

NinaSimoneful · 05/05/2016 11:59

No thank you, I will not be attending your child's naming ceremony as I cannot see the point of them. I also will not be giving a gift for this aswell as the child's birthday. It'll be one or the other. In case you were expecting that.

Give them a lead balloon as a gift.

Queenbean · 05/05/2016 12:00

I am not sure why people get so het up that people might not want to attend things.

In the past year, about 15 people I know have had babies. That's really lovely for them but the cost has really added up, cards when the baby arrives, a present first time you see the baby, a card, gift etc to a 1st birthday party and if there's a christening then same again. I love all my friends and all these babies but my god, I don't want to bankrupt myself or end up spending every single weekend doing something for a different child. I'm not religious and wouldn't go to a christening and have declined many 1st birthday parties. Babies are dull.

Don't take it personally that someone might not want to attend an event like that.

Queenbean · 05/05/2016 12:03

Why are you friends with these people if you hate them so much?

What a bizarre overreaction. Where has the OP indicated anywhere that she hates her friend?

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 12:03

Its not that people might not attend, and i get that weekends are precious, especially if you need to travel & not much money.

Its the sneery attitude. Feels really horrid, not nice at all. Very joyless.

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 12:05

I wouldn't ever be that sneery about someone I liked. Perhaps you are.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 05/05/2016 12:18

We thought about a naming ceremony for our ds. We weren't looking for any gifts but just wanted the wider circle of family and friends to meet our ds. I don't see that makes it pointless, it's just personal choice. OP, if you're that against it, don't go. End of.