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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naming ceremony

113 replies

Customernumberone · 05/05/2016 11:18

We've been invited to a naming ceremony Hmm
Regardless of my feelings towards these events (along with baby showers and the like) do we have to take a gift? What would be appropriate? It's about a month before the babies' first birthday, for which we'll buy a gift, and we're skint. I would say £5 budget per gift.

For the AIBU - AIBU to fucking hate these things and be dreading it?!?!? And to be pissed off it's so close to 1st birthday? If there's a party for that I will not be going!!

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 05/05/2016 13:59

you can do what you want, really

So you go to a party and the parents remind you of the child's name? Riiiight.

LouBlue1507 · 05/05/2016 14:04

I'm currently pregnant and we won't be having a Christening as we're atheist and don't want to be a hypocrit.

But we do want to have some sort of 'gathering' so all the family can get together and meet baby and have a bit of a party. We won't be expecting gifts we just think it's a nice chance for a family get together and give the opportunity for our families to meet.

I begrudge calling it a 'naming ceremony' but that's just how people refer to them I guess!

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 14:05

Well like i said, sometimes there is a ceremony and a celebrant. Just saying its not what everyone does. And the point of the whole day isn't to 'name' the child, its welcoming them into the family/community.

TickleMyTeacakes · 05/05/2016 14:06

Some people on MN get so VERY angry about the most inconsequential things.

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 14:07

Could you call it a 'headwetting' LouBlue?

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 14:11

'Aren't you a grumpy bastard.'

I don't need to swear at someone personally because I disagree with something, or find it stupid and pointless, but hey ho.

I wouldn't go, because I find it silly and ridiculous and basically a christening without the religion, which makes it even more ludicrous, IMO.

Obviously people disagree, they are entitled to do that.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/05/2016 14:11

There's no point asking if you meant to be so rude, Expat as clearly you did.

Society has co-opted many religious rites. Civil weddings and partnerships, funerals and cremations, why not birth celebrations?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/05/2016 14:12

And DS ceremony pre-dated hipsters, btw.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 14:12

pootles

A lot of people seem hung up on the whole "naming" bit

I dont see the problem,

Your friend invites you to a welcome ceremony, you dont want to go ...just say you are busy that day or be honest and say you dont want to go. I say no to Ann Summers parties all the time Grin

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 14:13

expat I didn't swear because you disagree, it was because you're being condescending and rude towards people who choose to have them.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 14:14

i am the furthest thing from a hipster Grin

Ds1 had his party/ceremony/shindig 16 years ago this october

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 14:15

'There's no point asking if you meant to be so rude, Expat as clearly you did. '

Asking what? So it's rude to express an opinion not personally directed at anyone, but at a thing? Okay. I'm fine with people getting offended at my opinion on a thing. Some people refer to what others call 'god' by all sorts of labels that can be construed as offensive, but that's not rude, that's acceptable. Yet saying naming ceremonies are stupid and silly,whatever, is rude. Hmm

TickleMyTeacakes · 05/05/2016 14:16

I think he would then be classified as a hipster early adopter Wink

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 14:17

'it was because you're being condescending and rude towards people who choose to have them.'

I never mentioned people, only naming ceremonies. But again, there's no need to swear at posters, even for that, and it's against Talk Guidelines.

But again, says more about you than me.

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 14:19

Expat it's funny you're offended at being referred to as a "grumpy bastard" yet you're okay to insult civil ceremonies when people just want to celebrate the birth of their child.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 14:21

tickely

Im going to tell ds1 that he is a hipster...he is going to be furious Grin

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/05/2016 14:22

Yet you're happy to co-opt such a rite for one even more ridiculous. Christenings are to dedicate a child's soul to god/sky fairy/whatever you want to call it. And naming ceremonies? 'Um, this child's name is X' Yeah, okay. We already knew that. How fucking stupid. Another hipster, silly trend.

The use of you're directs your comment to me expat, not to a thing.

Peppapogstillonaloop · 05/05/2016 14:23

Can't understand the negativity?! People want to have a party to celebrate their child (or as a good excuse for a knees up) what is so bad about that?! As with any of these things if you don't like it decline the invite.

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 14:23

I'm not offended at all, Future, I pointed out that it's against Talk Guidelines, because it is.

People are free to celebrate anything they want, Future, and others are free to have opinions on that. Bit silly to get so angry and take it as a personal insult to oneself that random strangers think what they do is ridiculous.

I feel the same about huge productions for 'big' birthdays, too, and baby showers for 2nd or subsequent children. So what? If people want to celebrate their 30th, 50th, whatever, by asking others to go to Slovakia and get pissed for days on end, or organise their own 'shower' for 100 complete with tacky poems asking for money, they are welcome to it.

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 14:26

'The use of you're directs your comment to me expat, not to a thing.'

Um, okay, you're free to construe it like that and get all offended. Hmm

I think naming ceremonies are ridiculous.

That's my personal opinion. So I wouldn't go to one. Just like some people won't go to baby showers, to christenings when they know the people don't believe in god, to weddings where they know the people were cheating on previous partners, etc.

It will not stop people from having them, and they are free to get as wound up and offended at opinions like mine as they'd like.

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 14:28

Expat Why come onto the forum to insult ceremonies though? Why not just keep it to yourself?

It would be like if I went onto a topic about religion and started flouting my athiesm and shouting down people's beliefs. I don't do that because I'm not deliberately antagonistic.

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 14:29

to weddings where they know the people were cheating on previous partners

Is this a thing? Some people don't go because they disapprove of their behaviour?

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 14:33

'Why come onto the forum to insult ceremonies though? Why not just keep it to yourself?'

The OP asked if her opinion on them was unreasonable. So I gave my opinion on them. You know, it's AIBU. Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 05/05/2016 14:37

Why come onto the forum to insult ceremonies though? Why not just keep it to yourself?

Er, have you been on mumsnet before? The whole point is to share opinions. The op didn't say to only post if you agree with her...

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