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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naming ceremony

113 replies

Customernumberone · 05/05/2016 11:18

We've been invited to a naming ceremony Hmm
Regardless of my feelings towards these events (along with baby showers and the like) do we have to take a gift? What would be appropriate? It's about a month before the babies' first birthday, for which we'll buy a gift, and we're skint. I would say £5 budget per gift.

For the AIBU - AIBU to fucking hate these things and be dreading it?!?!? And to be pissed off it's so close to 1st birthday? If there's a party for that I will not be going!!

OP posts:
Queenbean · 05/05/2016 12:22

You can disagree with people's actions, even of those you like! It's not sneery to disagree with having a naming ceremony / baptism.

Pinkheart5915 · 05/05/2016 12:29

I think you are a bit unreasonable to hate naming ceremony's either go along and try to enjoy it or don't bother going. If you can't afford a present with it being so close to a birthday just take a little token thing (eBay may have some ideas) a nice little photo album maybe.

I had a naming ceremony for ds, and it was a lovely day with family & friends. We didn't ask for gifts In fact when people asked about they were told they didn't need to bring one, but the people that did anyway just brought little token things. For me I wanted a day with my ds and all family together.

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 12:30

No, agreed. It's all the 'fucking hate these things' and Hmm's. Anyway my reaction earlier was OTT, seeing as I don't even know anyone here!

Anyway none of your comments are as good as DS's great grandads was - upon learning we wouldn't be Christening him - 'What's he going to be then? A Mohammidan?' So long as you don't say that you'll be ok i would think!

Sundance01 · 05/05/2016 12:51

You have not indicated how well you know these people and whether they would even be remotely upset/concerned or even notice whether you attend or not.

If its close friends/family and not attending would cause a real issue then get some perspective on how important their friendship/feelings are compared to you wanting to make a point or spending a fiver.

If they are not close then get some perspective on how little they may care as to whether you turn up or not.

TickleMyTeacakes · 05/05/2016 13:07

I went to a naming ceremony and it was very nice indeed. It was basically a barbecue (with lots of really good food) with a pretendy ceremony bit. It was good fun and done in a country where 90% of babies are baptised so a nice change to the usual religious ceremony.

acquiescence · 05/05/2016 13:11

You don't sounds very nice. Don't go.

It's a celebration of their child coming into the world. They want to invite family and friends to be a part of it. Do you also hate weddings, birthday parties, picnics, etc? What do you do for pleasure with your family and friends?

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 13:26

Had a naming ceramony for each of the 3 childrn

Ds1 had a humanist officiant, but we did the speechs and 'ceremony' for the other 2 ourselves

To a certain extent 2 and 3 were like big parties as by that time loads of people we knew had children

Wd didnt ask for presents and to my face...everyone enjoyed them Grin

sonlypuppyfat · 05/05/2016 13:32

There's a reason for a christening, a naming ceremony is pointless and just an excuse for a party

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 13:35

A party to welcome your baby, yes thats it absolutely! I quite like parties. Eat cake, see everyone you love, what's bad about that?

What do you think is the reasoning for a Christening by the way? Assuming you don't believe babies go to hell unless they're christened, you're welcoming them into the Church family. This is welcoming them into the community, much the same really.

TickleMyTeacakes · 05/05/2016 13:36

'just an excuse for a party'

Heaven forfend!

Naming ceremony
SirChenjin · 05/05/2016 13:38

Where is the ceremony bit? Unless it's formalised by the presence of a celebrant then surely it's just a party? The child has a name, are you supposed to stand around while the parents confirm that the name you've called the child for the last year is its name? Confused

I think they're pointless too.

caitlinohara · 05/05/2016 13:41

I hate christenings. I find them sinister. I have never been to a naming ceremony but I'm surprised that anyone could be so set against them. It's like having a civil ceremony rather than a church wedding, innit?

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 13:44

I nearly had a naming ceremony for DS. I'm an athiest but wanted to do something to celebrate his birth with friends and family and thought this seemed quite nice. I also wanted to "officially" appoint the equivalent of DSs Godpatents. As it happens, it's too expensive for me to justify, but I had no idea some people were so against it.

FutureGadgetsLab · 05/05/2016 13:44

That should say Godparents.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 05/05/2016 13:45

EssentialHummus We combined a number of family 'big' birthdays, including DS 1st birthday, with his naming ceremony.

A Humanist Celebrant came to the house and performed the ceremony and there were readings. It was also a way to recognise DS 'supporting adults' - basically, godparents without the god bit - and thank them for the role they agreed to take in DS life.

It was a lovely day and a great opportunity to bring friends and family together to welcome DS. A few people brought 1st birthday presents, but we'd specified no gifts as Christening gifts tend to be religious and there's not really a secular equivalent.

I was brought up Catholic and felt strongly that I wanted to do the equivalent of introducing DS to his church family, in a secular way. Ideally we would have done it around the 6 month mark but I was just going back to work then, etc etc so we held it off to make one big celebration in the summer.

I don't understand why people get so sneery about naming ceremonies (clearly!) but each to their own I suppose... I am happy to attend Christenings and would never sneer about people dedicating their child to a sky-fairy. I'm just delighted that baby got here safely, mum is OK and we have another person to love.

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 13:45

We had a ceremony in the registry office, done by a registrant. Yep thats right, they ask what you name your child, you confirm the name, just like with a Christening I think. Then like i said, some readings, some poems, bit of spiel about welcoming children, takes a village to raise a child, all that good stuff.

Love that photo Tickle! I was imagining more Trunchbull.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 13:47

Ooh yes we hade "godparents"

Ds1 had two men

Dd had three fairy godmothers (party had a sleeping beauty theme)

Ds2 had a man and a woman

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 13:48

I'd not go because I think they are pointless and silly. Children are given a name when the parent(s) register their birth.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 13:49

ceremony
ˈsɛrɪməni/
noun
1.
a formal religious or public occasion, especially one celebrating a particular event, achievement, or anniversary.
"the winners were presented with their prizes at a special ceremony"

I do like a good dictionary definition

EssentialHummus · 05/05/2016 13:49

Thanks pootles and lonny - I'm now hoping I score an invite to one of these Grin. Unlikely in my circle of mainly Russians and Jews.

SirChenjin · 05/05/2016 13:50

So naming ceremonies do have a celebrant there? It's not just the parents confirming the child's name of the last X number of months?

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 13:51

Its a welcome to your community party/ceremony

Or an excuse for a piss up Grin

Joking

RufusTheReindeer · 05/05/2016 13:54

Oooh ds2's theme was "welcome to the world"

With planets and rockets

expatinscotland · 05/05/2016 13:57

'I am happy to attend Christenings and would never sneer about people dedicating their child to a sky-fairy.'

Yet you're happy to co-opt such a rite for one even more ridiculous. Christenings are to dedicate a child's soul to god/sky fairy/whatever you want to call it. And naming ceremonies? 'Um, this child's name is X' Yeah, okay. We already knew that. How fucking stupid. Another hipster, silly trend.

Pootles2010 · 05/05/2016 13:57

Sir its entirely up to you. Ours did, but cos its not legal/religious, you can do what you want, really.

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