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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a wedding one

129 replies

PotterBot · 04/05/2016 09:24

Sis-in-law is getting married. She doesn't want lots of bridesmaids but wants all the children of the family to wear the same outfit. Has sent chosen dress around for us to buy its £60. I have to buy three, when the children already have suitable wedding wear.

Have suggested children wear their own clothes, this has not gone down well at all.

My feelings are that if you want someone to wear a specific outfit you should pay for the outfit not dictate how much the other person needs to spend to get into your wedding.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/05/2016 13:22

Never mind the bride - the OP has already bought suitable wedding wear for a wedding in October Grin

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/05/2016 13:23

That should put a crimp in her giddy-up

I LOVE that. Saving that one up to use again!!

Roussette · 04/05/2016 13:27

Madness!

(I'd just say "No, I don't want them all dressed the same so I won't be buying those")

Original poster
PotterBot · 04/05/2016 13:31

Yes I'm super organised and didn't make rash purchases in the Christmas sale that need to be worn otherwise they will be binned.

OP posts:
RaspberryOverload · 04/05/2016 13:32

If she wants the children to wear something specific, she pays.

These children aren't even in the wedding party! What planet is she on?

squeaver · 04/05/2016 13:33

Aw, she thinks she's Kate Moss doesn't she?

Hang on, is she Kate Moss??

FeelingSmurfy · 04/05/2016 14:15

The only issue could be that your children are then excluded from family photos as they would stand out, so I would have a word with the other families with children and agree something between you if possible, then go to SIL as a group

Mcchickenbb41 · 04/05/2016 14:23

I don't think it's fair either. And it will come to more than £180 with shoes etc. Hope you get it sorted X

MiddleClassProblem · 04/05/2016 14:38

I reckon Kate Moss paid for her entourage's clothes though.

Seriously, not one person on this thread agrees with SIL. Send it to her...

lazyarse123 · 04/05/2016 16:49

She's a cheeky entitled mare, even if they were affordable would they suit all the girls. What does here mum think about it?

lazyarse123 · 04/05/2016 16:50

her not here

YonicTrowel · 04/05/2016 17:01

Is she your DH's sister? If so, make sure he is on message with replies.

YANBU, obviously!

Original poster
PotterBot · 04/05/2016 17:09

Everyone is staying well out of it from what I understand. Its dh's brothers fiancé. Luckily I don't have too much to do with her. The thing is the dresses are lovely and if they were £30 cheaper I wouldn't mind, but they aren't and that coupled with her outright refusal to consider a cheaper option just gets my back up so I'm putting my kids in their lovely outfits that aren't that dissimilar and if she doesn't like it and kicks off on the day I will take my children home and let them get on with it.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/05/2016 17:10

Fuck her off. Just don't buy them.

YonicTrowel · 04/05/2016 17:16

Blimey!

Still, make sure DH is on message (and he might want to have a word with his brother if helpful about £180 on dresses to be worn once!)

Goingtobeawesome · 04/05/2016 17:18

So refreshing to see someone not giving in to utter ridiculous behaviour.

MissBattleaxe · 04/05/2016 18:28

Well, the bride to be is certainly making a good impression on joining a new family. She will piss so many people off and this could have been a great opportunity to build some lovely family bonds, but no, she had to insist on £60 dresses. Silly woman.

TooLazyToWriteMyOwnFuckinPiece · 04/05/2016 18:32

Dh's brother's fiancé is not your sil!

NapQueen · 04/05/2016 18:35

£60 each for kids dresses they will wear once? She is fucking bonkers.

Im guessing she doesnt have kids. Or any common sense.

YonicTrowel · 04/05/2016 18:38

There's not another convenient shorthand though, too lazy!

TooLazyToWriteMyOwnFuckinPiece · 04/05/2016 18:40

"Bil is getting married. His bride wants..." would do fine, and not give rise to the pedant in me!

YonicTrowel · 04/05/2016 18:42

I refer to my brother's wife, my DH's sister and my DH's Bro's wife all as SILs.

BackforGood · 04/05/2016 18:45

YAclearlyNBU at all
If a bride/groom wants people to wear a particular item, then they provide it. End of.
Also, who wants to wear the same outfit as your siblings ? Hmm Does she think they are the Von Traps or something ?

MrHannahSnell · 04/05/2016 18:45

If she wants bridesmaids in matching outfits then she should buy them.

Toadsrevisited · 04/05/2016 18:47

Yanbu to refuse to pay for the outfits but Slightly different perspective- why not tell her now that you can't pay, so that she has the option to buy the outfits? She might prefer to pay to have them dressed how she wants: it seems a little unfair to deprive her off the chance to pay if she so wishes.