To ask you to arbitrate on a dispute about laundry etiquette?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

So, dh and I disagree. He is clearly wrong but thought I should put it to the Mumsnet jury because I'm putting off doing bedtime

So, you live in a house where the adult children wash their own clothes and one adult (for the sake of argument we'll call this adult Mrs Overall) is responsible for washing everything else that is in the laundry box including kids clothes and towels. Mrs O hangs out, sorts and folds and Mr Overall does putting away, leaving a pile for adult children of anything that has worked its way into the shared laundry box by mistake.

If you got up just before 10 after the school run and saw there was an open washing machine with about 4 unwashed items inside would you

a) Take no notice
b) Add your own items to the laundry and put it on running a half load
c) Ask the only adult in the house if they had finished with the machine because you want to do some laundry
d) Assume someone is using the machine and come back later if you want to do some washing yourself.

Just to reiterate dh is wrong. Some details have been changed to protect the feckless

Over to you.

I think OP is at fault for loading the machine in dribs and drabs. Surely you gather all the clothes first and carry them to the machine in one trip.

Some people intend to leave unwashed clothes in the machine for days, regarding it as some sort of laundry basket, and ignoring that others might want to use the machine. In this case, as it was only a small amount of clothes, I'd graciously wash them with my own. But I'd be within my rights to by annoyed and chuck them in the bin.

As is usual in AIBU, my opinion has more to do with my own issues than OP's.

I would have done C, then B if I didn't get a swift answer. Are you sure she didn't call you (very quietly)?

Teenage DD has been known to wash one pair of jeans, rather than chuck in a full load (which generally has mostly her washing in anyway).

I'm surprised you didn't come down to find the 3 items which were originally in the machine on the floor. Be thankful for small mercies.

As a nanny I would assume she thought she might of been helping by doing your few bits for you. Maybe have a conversation with her and give her a set time to do her washing when she's not going to be in your way

Am I the only person to find this thread is twisting my melon? Or maybe I'm just a bit fick. Add to that, my lack of inexperience with children and au pairs.

I think that she should have asked, but it didn't really make a difference did it?

She's supposed to do her own washing, which she did, with a couple of your bits also.

You then presumably washed the stuff that you wanted to.

B unless as in your case it's not actually my house.

I would have been cross and asked her to check next time it looked like someone was getting ready to use the machine.

Nothing else you can do, really.

B add bits to make a load and stick it on

However in the case of my adult brother and wife. They leave washing wet in the washer until the laundry fairy (my mum) empties it because the laundry fairy can't do her washing.

Am intrigued why people who , for want of a better phrase, share a washing machine, would hog it and not actually do a wash?

It's like putting all your mugs in the sink at work then walking away so nobody else can wash up !!

There is no evidence the machine was being hogged. It was in use with maybe a ten minute delay while bedrooms were checked for extra washing to be added to make up a full load. It had in fact been completely empty for the proceeding 36 hours.

Washing machine hogging is not allowed in this house. We're not students

Add my own clothes do a full cycle, dry clothes on line/ tumble dry leave the 4 items folded neatly on table or where they can be seen no hardship

I suggest you unclench

I would have stopped the machine when I got downstairs with the rest of the load, added the extra and restarted the cycle, as it was only ten minutes in. I do this all the time as I'm forgetful!

A nifty B/C combo I think...
Just get the washing done!!

"as it was only ten minutes in."

Mine would be full of water by then.

If you don't stop it almost immediately, before it starts taking in water then you can't stop it without a flood!

Maybe a top loader isn't such a bad idea!

i'm not clenched thanks Littleroundtable. It's just an idle question in Aibu as you can see by reading the thread :)

And no, I didn't get the rest done because I had to go to work and wouldn't have had enough time to wash and unload.

B

I would go for (b) initially but considering that the door is never open and in this case it was, I would assume that it was in use (or ask the other adult) and wait until it was finished with so c or d

B

Surely the point of an au pair is school runs snd the kids washing? Did you not set out her duties when she first arrived?
If you are planning to replace her when she leaves I would suggest a friendly, polite but informative chat with the next one when she arrives. Possibly include a slide show on laundry etiquette.

Bit patronising there Squiff. I have done everything by the book thanks. It makes no difference which is why she's leaving early but that's not what I was asking about. I wanted to know if people would really just add their washing to a machine that appeared to be in use without asking the other adult if they'd finished with it. I have my answer :)

I'm not sure a slide show is strictly necessary. I think I might mention "please only do your laundry when the machine is not in use" but that might cause offensive if it's as obvious to him/her as it is to most people.