To ask you to arbitrate on a dispute about laundry etiquette?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

So, dh and I disagree. He is clearly wrong but thought I should put it to the Mumsnet jury because I'm putting off doing bedtime

So, you live in a house where the adult children wash their own clothes and one adult (for the sake of argument we'll call this adult Mrs Overall) is responsible for washing everything else that is in the laundry box including kids clothes and towels. Mrs O hangs out, sorts and folds and Mr Overall does putting away, leaving a pile for adult children of anything that has worked its way into the shared laundry box by mistake.

If you got up just before 10 after the school run and saw there was an open washing machine with about 4 unwashed items inside would you

a) Take no notice
b) Add your own items to the laundry and put it on running a half load
c) Ask the only adult in the house if they had finished with the machine because you want to do some laundry
d) Assume someone is using the machine and come back later if you want to do some washing yourself.

Just to reiterate dh is wrong. Some details have been changed to protect the feckless

Over to you.

Wow. You are quite scary. I'd try to pick whichever option would piss you off the least...but I'm not sure which that would be!

I think I might have confused myself now by trying to be non-partisan

Family with young children plus adult living there. She is our au pair.

I popped upstairs to get the rest of the laundry and found the machine usurped!

Dh seems to think this is fine and I said any option but B.

If I were a house guest the answer would have to be A. If I needed to do washing myself, it would be D.

So your au pair left stuff in the machine? Take it out and do.your stuff

I'd leave those things in and add stuff to make a full load.

I don't think a house guest has any jurisdiction in someone else's house, over laundry, washing up... basically unless they're family or very best friends I wouldn't want anyone furtling around my kitchen.

Unless Mr or Mrs O has asked Ms Houseguest to put a wash on they clearly have no authority on white goods.

I feel very unsettled about all this!

I was going to say A or B, but our house is very small so I always know if DP is halfway through putting a load of washing on it only happens on a blue moon anyway.

Being a house guest changes everything. I would ask my host before doing anything else. I don't approve of half loads anyway, except in urgent situations or when things can't be washed with other items.

A.

I've a feeling you don't to hear that though.

OK, just read that she's the au pair. As an au pair I would have checked before chucking my stuff in.

Au pair is not a house guest.

Yours is clearly impractical though. I'd be irritated.

Oh, the au pair is definitely allowed to furtle around.

So, she's seen a few items in and chucked hers on top? I think that's fine. It's not as though she took them out to wash hers instead.

Maybe she thought she was finishing a job for you?

Jeez just have a conversation with her.
How exhausting.

I would out a 15 min super quick wash on to get the wee out of the clothing a bit, before adding my own items and then doing a 1 hour wash. Then I'd tumble the lot.

I feel very unsettled about all this!

I just couldn't imagine ever doing that even when i was in a house share or living with my parents so I would have chosen any option but B. Dh disagreed.

She didn't finish a job for me. She added her own 7 items so when I came back down with all the washing I had half a loaf going nowhere and half a load on.

Still I suppose I'm grateful she's actually doing her own washing rather than complaining I've not done it.

B

The drip feeding extra information just makes it more confusing - I give up

It's the washing machine door being open that is the code. The only time ours is left open is when I am searching for enough items to make up a load because something needs washing urgently that has already been put in the machine.

A

If the washing machine door was open and had obviously rinsed clothes inside, then I'd assume you had gone upstairs to gather more washing so I wouldn't steal the machine from under you.

Put the the wet stuff out and dump it on her bed. My girls stick stuff in the machine all the time knowing I have to empty it do more. Wash it fine. Them it's up to them.

I feel sorry for Mr O.
He has just lost his job and too afraid to tell his wife. He owes a lot on his credit card and wonders if they should have booked that holiday to Torquay.

Older son suffers from insomnia and is starting to self medicate, had tried out a yoga class for his stress, but trying to keep it from his college mates.
The poor au pair is 8 weeks pregnant by an Italian truck driver so she is about to hand in her notice.

Mrs O doesn't know that the dog has just eaten one of her Jimmy Choos and vomited on the bedroom carpet.

So bearing those things in mind I would choose option E.

It is a bit of a shock having a teenager

A or B because I'm an adult

I still say b. Given it was children's clothing I'd assume she thought she was helping out. We don't have washing machine door codes in our house.