To ask you to arbitrate on a dispute about laundry etiquette?

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

So, dh and I disagree. He is clearly wrong but thought I should put it to the Mumsnet jury because I'm putting off doing bedtime

So, you live in a house where the adult children wash their own clothes and one adult (for the sake of argument we'll call this adult Mrs Overall) is responsible for washing everything else that is in the laundry box including kids clothes and towels. Mrs O hangs out, sorts and folds and Mr Overall does putting away, leaving a pile for adult children of anything that has worked its way into the shared laundry box by mistake.

If you got up just before 10 after the school run and saw there was an open washing machine with about 4 unwashed items inside would you

a) Take no notice
b) Add your own items to the laundry and put it on running a half load
c) Ask the only adult in the house if they had finished with the machine because you want to do some laundry
d) Assume someone is using the machine and come back later if you want to do some washing yourself.

Just to reiterate dh is wrong. Some details have been changed to protect the feckless

Over to you.

I'd do any of the options. An au pair isn't a house guest, they are meant to be like a member of the family. I'd quite happily stick more stuff in and then put it on. I'd think I was being helpful.

LTB

pearlylum

C I think.........

I'd do any of the options. I'd quite happily stick more stuff in and then put it on. I'd think I was being helpful.

Also, an au pair isn't a house guest, they are meant to be like a member of the family.

whoops sorry repeated myself there - didn't post first time or so I thought

We don't have codes either but I would ask first.

She hasn't washed a thing herself for 4 months so I doubt she thought she was helping. I did have a jolly good laugh at the idea though.

She is very nice, she just thinks I'm her mum. She calls me mother

G. Ask if it's ok to use the washing machine.

I think it's a personal preference, and all babies are different.
Mine were independent and refused to be spoon fed, preferring to feed themselves.
Some babies may be impatient and like the spoon feeding method. Others prefer a mixture of feeding methods.
As long as a baby is being introduced to a range of healthy food I don't think it matters OP.

TBH I would just insist that puts her washing in with ours as I'm a control freak, I would trade her for folding/sorting or similar!

Ah but you see the ODC (Open Door Code) is erroneous because one must always leave the washing machine door ajar after a wash (after first wiping the wet inside of the door with a freshly washed item belonging to dh) or the rubber seal will go mouldy.

I'm a little confused to who I am. Is there a diagram?

I say B though.

MrsEricBana you are correct. That's what I always do. I've only left it wide open because I was off to get other stuff otherwise it's always ajar.

She didn't wash our stuff btw. Just her own. Lucky I'd rinsed the PJs or that wouldn't been a nasty surprise!

She perhaps should have asked you but the way you refer to (adult children/ house guest/ teenager) her sounds as if you all haven't really settled in together yet and should maybe discuss how things should work.

This would irritate me no end too OP. Let me tell you having our first au pair has been a mahoosive adjustment and she does ALL the laundry apart from sheets

Ours is absolutely lovely and a real pleasure to have around, I should add

Can I be Mrs Peacock if we get to choose?

would've. Still at least it's the right thread

I would have asked if someone was going to use the washing machine.
As Mrs O, I would probably have asked her if she had a lot to do and put her stuff with mine though. (In effect arriving at the solution E the au pair choose).
It's the not asking that would have annoyed me though.

Although she has different colour-sorting ideas than I do and a lot more of our stuff appears somewhat grey-ish these days for some reason

I would ask if there is anything else to go in, and if not, I would add my washing. If any space left, would stick in a towel or two and do a full load.

I don't know which to choose but I am gaining insights into learned helplessness.

She's going Amelia. We have had several discussions, it hasn't got better

She doesn't want to be an au pair, she wants to be an extra daughter and I've already got two dc.

But if she was my mother/sister/grown up daughter/flat mate I'd find it odd to just not ask. Although clearly the whole in/out thing isn't as cut and dried as I thought.

B

I still don't get it, you say she didn't wash your stuff just her own - did she take your stuff out then?

Oh she probably should have asked, but she's a stranger in a strange land and I feel the onus is on you to make her feel comfortable and welcome. Which means not making a big deal about stuff she 'gets wrong', and making sure she knows what her responsibilities are. You are being a bit precious about your laundry. When the machine finishes, put the other stuff in and move on with your life.

Oh she's going anyway? Then no problem enjoy your machine