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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave a home owned by family to private rent instead?

54 replies

Lostandlostsomemore · 03/05/2016 08:30

From surrey to littlehampton to live near mum and grandmother?
Have a thread on but not much traffic and biggest worry is the rental factor, being unstable for the kids growing up so thought I would aim this one soley at that - thanks

OP posts:

whois · 03/05/2016 08:35

If you own the house now, why can't you sell and buy another one?

Arfarfanarf · 03/05/2016 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lavendersun · 03/05/2016 08:48

We have just sold our home and are renting for the first time in 20 years. I was very careful about who I rented from (we are still landlords ourselves).

I don't know how long we will choose to rent for but I didn't want to rent from someone who might decide to sell so I only looked at houses where renting was part of the landlord's business, so stately homes, country estate type jobs, national trust, farming estates, investment properties like something that has been inherited by someone who lives overseas, etc., etc..

It really did narrow our choices right down but essential for me (when schools are in the equation). The previous tenants were in this house for nine years so I figured it must be ok here.

Many people rent all their lives.

My reason for moving was to be closer to family/ageing parents but I didn't want to buy without having lived here again for a while first.

Life is short and being close to family became really important to me so I made it happen.

MattDillonsPants · 03/05/2016 08:52

How important is it to be near Mum and Gran? I honestly wouldn't advise it. Private renting is hell. Never feel secure...they can chuck you out with two months notice.

Jeremysfavouriteaunt · 03/05/2016 08:53

I am in private rented at the moment. We have had to move six times in eight years due to the landlords selling. They have all assured me that it was long term.

I have just had to email the estate agent today to put my foot down about the number of viewings for the house we are in now. We pay full rent and are expected to have strangers traipsing round our house.
Without fail, we have had to go to the DPS for our deposit back as the landlords have all tried to claim for things like leaves on the lawn.

Our last landlord, we had to take to court.

We are buying now as I can't take the stress anymore, I really wouldn't do it unless I had no other choice.

lavendersun · 03/05/2016 09:12

Jeremy, my brother has always rented privately and he has a similar story to yours, rotten isn't it.

We are very easy going landlords (house abroad), partly because of his horrible experience I think!

Like anything in life there are good and bad, both landlords and tenants.

Jeremysfavouriteaunt · 03/05/2016 09:16

Yes, I think that it's been bad luck all round. Some landlords are great, this present one lives abroad so I thought it was a safe bet. I think he is selling up because of the tax changes next April.

Original poster

Lostandlostsomemore · 03/05/2016 09:21

Sorry other thread is more in detail but briefly -
We don't own any property, have no deposit and no way of saving ( we rent this from husbands sister who lives abroad but we pay half my husbands monthly income for the rent so no chance of saving even for part rent / part buy )
We are in surrey and move would be to littlehampton, rentals seem to come up far more there although no idea how long term any of them would be.
We rented for 10 years before having the kids and then his sister emigrated so it was just luck really but we only moved twice in those 10 years, one move was our choice as neighbours were awful and the other move was because he was moving back in after a relationship breakdown so I don't know how long term these things are to be honest.
I have friends who have had to move every year or two and others who have never had to move or even had their rent increased.
Being near mum is very important, I'm used to seeing her a few times a week and now it's twice a month with her work commitments and my eldest at school.
It just doesn't feel the same.
Husband worries a seaside resort will make the kids lives harder, schools not as good and job prospects fewer when older etc :-(

OP posts:

PinotAndPlaydough · 03/05/2016 09:51

Honestly? No I wouldn't, we rent and it's horrible living year to year not knowing if we will have to move because the landlord is going to either sell or put the rent up to an amount we can't afford. We have moved 4 times in as many years and it's been so stressful.
You have security and while being away from your family must be really hard for you the long term security you have is important for your children.

You say you have no savings so you need to consider how much moving costs, you'll need a month and a halves deposit as well as other fees and removal costs, ideally you'll also want the same amount saved again incase you have to move at short notice.
You need to consider the housing market, is there a chance you could be priced out the area because if there is you may have to move your child's school again.

I think you need to try and find other ways to stay connected with your family, if possible increase visits to each other, FaceTime or Skype, find days out where you can meet in the middle and organise things so you have something to look forward to.

Princesspinkgirl · 03/05/2016 09:51

Honestly private rent is a stuck in the rut kind of situation I'm private renting but currently just a house share and just found out I'm pregnant due around Christmas day and now need to find a one bed which is proving difficult because getting the deposit etc we need about £1000 before we start I feel for you tough situation

Jeremysfavouriteaunt · 03/05/2016 09:58

That's a good point about costs. I have just added up that we spent about 11k in 8 years just on moving costs and rental agreements. We have to pay for the check out inventory next - £460

AndYourBirdCanSing · 03/05/2016 10:04

We private rent a house we would ideally like to move from but are very reluctant to due to past experiences of landlords selling up. (We have been in current house for over 4 years).

We moved into our last house being assured they had no plans to sell but then found out it was owned by a couple who had lived there but broken up and were in financial difficultly, so obviously sold as soon as they could. This was 6 months after moving in. Current landlord bought this house specifically to let out which makes all the difference in my opinion.

MattDillonsPants · 03/05/2016 10:26

Oh God OP have you STILL not made up your mind? Bless you.

Make the choice! DO it!

PPie10 · 03/05/2016 10:48

I think you would be very silly to do so. You already see your mum twice a month, would you really uproot your family just because of that? I think it would be a bit unfair on the rest of them. Why would you chance a secure home for something that could set you worse off when you see your mum often as is?

expatinscotland · 03/05/2016 10:55

Just no. Don't do it. You'd be very silly to do this.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 03/05/2016 11:20

No.

Renting is beyond hideous.

Hideous. Proper hideous. There are barely the words to describe it.

Original poster

Lostandlostsomemore · 03/05/2016 11:23

All the people very against renting, are you currently renting and feel insecure?
It must be hard kids not having a " home " but the people are what make it surely?
Maybe I'm being daft, we wouldn't be able to move more than twice ( that would be our savings gone ) so once they were gone we would be reliant on the council to assist in some way as would have no way of raising it again.

OP posts:

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 03/05/2016 11:29

I rented for years. Own now. Never want to go back.

AndNowItsSeven · 03/05/2016 11:30

Did you next get the answer you wanted on your other thread? Don't give up your current home.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2016 11:31

'so once they were gone we would be reliant on the council to assist in some way as would have no way of raising it again.'

And then you will be completely at their mercy. Depending on where you live, there may be no stock to suit your family so they'll send you out, however far out it takes, or put you in whatever private let will take council homeless.

You got a pretty unanimous, bar a few, 'Don't do it!' on your other thread, but you posted again, 'for more traffic'.

Quite frankly, you're being quite selfish here. It's all about you and your missing your mum, who chose to move away and has/will have, enough money to purchase her own accommodation.

You have a family now, it's not just about you and what you miss or want anymore and your husband brings up some very, very good points about why this is a bad move.

I quite admire his restraint. I'd have told you in no uncertain terms that you were free to go - without us.

DixieNormas · 03/05/2016 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PPie10 · 03/05/2016 11:35

Agree with expat. You're a grown woman now with children and a family of your own to think of. You can't live in your mothers pockets, she moved away so maybe she would like to have some independence too. You're being selfish and unfair on your family.

tinyterrors · 03/05/2016 11:59

I wouldn't leave a secure home. I know how hard it can be to not see your parents as much as you're used to but you have to prioritise your family.

Private renting is a huge gamble and you could end up with a nightmare landlord like my friend who has had one problem after another with her flat which the landlord won't fix.

Plus in private rented houses you can't decorate how you like or even put up pictures without permission.

Then there's the possibility of having to move every six months. You say you could move twice then would have to rely on the council, this isn't as easy as you think. You'd have to be forcefully evicted before the council will even think of helping and then you're put wherever they can find a place for you which could very well be in a hostel.

It might be fine private renting but there's a high possibility that at least one of the things above will happen.

There's no way on earth I'd leave a secure home just to see my parents more than twice a month. Most people don't have any choice but to private rent and most would likely give anything to have what you have.

whois · 03/05/2016 12:15

To put the anti renters into balance - I rent and have been in the same property since I moved city so nearly 4 years now. The LL is good and fixes things straight away. The LL is not intrusive and doesn't come round to do inspections etc.

Since we moved in he's had to put in a new DW and a new boiler.

Renting isn't always doom and gloom.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2016 12:17

The problem is that you don't know how it will go until you do it. There's a lot of variation, and I haven't seen a private let tenancy yet that doesn't have a 2 month get out clause.

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