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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave a home owned by family to private rent instead?

54 replies

Lostandlostsomemore · 03/05/2016 08:30

From surrey to littlehampton to live near mum and grandmother?
Have a thread on but not much traffic and biggest worry is the rental factor, being unstable for the kids growing up so thought I would aim this one soley at that - thanks

OP posts:

specialsubject · 03/05/2016 12:44

obviously not if you think about it. When a new tenant moves in on a minimum 6 month tenancy, they can pay NOTHING from the word go and/or destroy the place and the landlord still won't be able to get them out before the six months. Being a landlord is the only business where you are legally compelled to provide the service if the customer refuses to pay.

so no landlord with sense offers an initial tenancy with no break.

if you are a normal human being, as most tenants are, you pay the rent and treat the place normally and you will be staying on.

Osbo's tax changes have made a lot of landlords sell up - also bleeding obvious. Look for a property that is a buy to let (not a landlord's home) bought with cash - MN will scream at this and Osbo doesn't realise, but many people are using rentals as a way of possibly getting slightly above-inflation returns on cash. These people don't have mortgages and so are unaffected by the tax change.

Arfarfanarf · 03/05/2016 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lavendersun · 03/05/2016 12:55

Arf .

This rented home of ours certainly doesn't feel like ours to me at all which is a very odd feeling (because I have always owned).

My lovely pictures are leaning against the walls right now in the upstairs rooms because it all feels so temporary even though DH would be happy to stay for years. I am not sure I would be.

I keep telling myself that in many countries people rent for life!

AndYourBirdCanSing · 03/05/2016 13:19

We can paint/hang pictures/ put up shelves. Landlord very unintrusive and as I have said earlier, have been here for 4 years. Problem is it is such a gamble as moving again is so expensive.

The issue I have is wanting new carpets and things we would change if we owned it. And, of course if landlord decides to sell. I do wish we had the option of a housing association house instead of private let though. Even though the cost would be at least £250 less than what we pay now, the security would be great.

Original poster

Lostandlostsomemore · 03/05/2016 13:38

If I can find a landlord to do a very long let tenancy ( one from one rent has offered to do 5 years ) is there anything to stop them from serving notice? What happens if they do but it's breaching the agreement?

OP posts:

specialsubject · 03/05/2016 13:40

Obviously the notice would be illegal if you weren't breaching on your side. Ignore the bleating bile spewers.

Arfarfanarf · 03/05/2016 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 03/05/2016 13:59

Contracts do not override law.

Arfarfanarf · 03/05/2016 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuRedman · 03/05/2016 14:07

Littlehampton is an absolute hole. I can't imagine the quality of rental properties being that high. The town itself is dead and relies a lot on the summer tourists. I wouldn't move there and particularly not into rented.

lavendersun · 03/05/2016 14:24

You should bear in mind that your own situation might change too OP. You could end up not wanting such a long tenancy yourself for all sorts of reasons.

Stu - not sure that is terribly helpful when the OP wants to move there to be nearer her family!

Original poster

Lostandlostsomemore · 03/05/2016 14:49

It's very unlikely we will ever be able to buy unless we win the lottery or my mum gives me the money when nan passes as I'm an only child so inheritance wouldn't be split but I works rather her but or move into nans property so she has stability
This is a nightmare situation
Once every 2 weeks is bearable now but I'm thinking as she gets older and will the kids want to move if we leave it any later ;-(

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 03/05/2016 15:40

'Once every 2 weeks is bearable now but I'm thinking as she gets older and will the kids want to move if we leave it any later ;-('

That's a future that might not even materialise. She's only in her 60s. She may well live just fine independently another 20+ years. You're still wanting validation to forgo your family's financial security and security in housing for your own wish, no matter how you try to dress it up.

Your husband has brought up some serious points about employment availability and opportunities for your kids.

And again, even with a long tenancy, I haven't seen a one that doesn't allow the LL a 2-month get out clause. Most solicitors advise this in case the LL needs the property back for some reason.

You're still looking to rationalise a move that's entirely for your own benefit and, from the looks of it, not for anyone else's in your family.

Sleepingbunnies · 03/05/2016 16:25

I have the same experience as whois up until last year we had lived in the same house for 5 years with just a £25 rent increase in that time. We have moved now and have been told that we only have a year here :(

Witchend · 03/05/2016 16:46

Leaving aside any rental issues.

I think you'd be foolish to move. Your dm has a job. Your oldest dc is on school. Maybe your dm won't want to see you that often because she's tired. Your dc will want to do things after school with friends and going to granny's can quickly become a chore as they're older and wanting to do things themselves.
If I've read it right your dm chose to move away. Maybe it was a deliberate choice, to give you both space.

You've got one in school already so you're going to be looking for a school with spaces. So unlikely to be a good one unless you're lucky, and it could be miles away from where you're living. Even if she's young, it's going to be hard for her to move schools if she's settled.

Sounds like you're the one driving the move. If things don't work out you're also going to take the rap.

And if there is any risk of you having to rely on the council for housing. Don't. Don't. Don't.
You can be placed miles away from where you want. If you move in with your dm, you will go down the list. If you don't, you're in b&b. Even someone I knew who was high priority took 6 months to get a place.

Original poster

Lostandlostsomemore · 04/05/2016 08:40

6 months would be bearable to get a forever home though wouldn't it :-(
I agree it sounds selfish but I am thinking of the kids in this, being near to their grandparents, seeing them for after school tea etc, all the things I had growing up and still remember fondly.
If it's going to happen at some point I just keep thinking now is the best time to do it before they are both too settled in school etc.
it's a heart / head matter I guess

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 04/05/2016 08:53

'6 months would be bearable to get a forever home though wouldn't it :-( '

WTF? It may involve a B&B or hostel where they put you. You don't get a choice. And do you realise that many, many councils no longer offer a 'forever home'? They put you with a private LL who will take council tenants. Private. Again, no choice. You really think there's a plethora of council houses for families?

No, you are not thinking of your kids and your husband. They are happy where they are. Your husband raises from extremely salient points about employment and opportunities for the kids in the future there and schools.

But you continue to make it all about yourself and how you feel about your mum and nan and try to justify moving away from pretty much all security your family has.

That's just mind-blowingly selfish.

Your mum moved away for a reason. This is not a 'nightmare' situation. You still see her every fortnight.

Original poster

Lostandlostsomemore · 04/05/2016 20:17

Sorry I seem to have angered you above OP
That wasn't my intention to come across so selfish.
It was just me and my mum for a very long time, she only met stepdad a few years ago so we are just very close, sorry again

OP posts:

AndNowItsSeven · 05/05/2016 00:06

If you were that close why did she move?

OliviaBenson · 05/05/2016 06:45

Oh god, I remember your last thread op. This would be a huge mistake. Your other thread gave a lot more details than this one. This move wouldn't be for your kids, it would be completely for you. The job situation is also a huge factor.

Take off the rose tinted glasses.

Toomanycats99 · 05/05/2016 06:53

But they don't have to see them every day to have a good relationship. My kids have two sets of grandparents. One they see once a week for tea and one that live further away. Previously we would see them once a month ish. Now every holidays the kids stay there for a few days without us. They love it. That's arrest you don't get with grandparents that are found the corner! And life gets in the way of popping round for tea - there are aftershool clubs, work, homework. They wouldn't have time to go round more than once a week after school!

ifgrandmahadawilly · 05/05/2016 09:41

*Honestly? No I wouldn't, we rent and it's horrible living year to year not knowing if we will have to move because the landlord is going to either sell or put the rent up to an amount we can't afford. We have moved 4 times in as many years and it's been so stressful.
You have security and while being away from your family must be really hard for you the long term security you have is important for your children.

You say you have no savings so you need to consider how much moving costs, you'll need a month and a halves deposit as well as other fees and removal costs, ideally you'll also want the same amount saved again incase you have to move at short notice.
You need to consider the housing market, is there a chance you could be priced out the area because if there is you may have to move your child's school again.*

^^THIS. So much this.

wannabestressfree · 05/05/2016 09:53

Your not listening....
The council are not obliged to house you if your from out of area. In my area it's two years before you can apply for a council house. It's madness. You are being incredibly selfish.

x2boys · 05/05/2016 09:57

I was in private rented for two yrs tbh our landlord wasent bad they didn't come around to do inspections etc we only moved because I was giving up work to be a carer for my disabled son and we moved in to a council house but the private rent didn't really feel like home as we couldn't decorate etc my council house does feel like home ,we are just lucky to live in a part of the country where it is fairly easy to get social housing.

wannabestressfree · 05/05/2016 10:49

I am band c for housing and I imagine it will be a while.before something comes up. I have bid a few times and not been in the top 2o.
I have a lovely landlord at the moment and we have been here 4 years. It's just so expensive.

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