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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He said her kids would die

116 replies

Sandbrook · 02/05/2016 20:23

If she didn't give him a BJ last night.
Friends husband. She asked what I thought, she's unsure what to think herself. When she questioned him, he laughed and said he was joking.
She's mulling over it now and that's why she rang me.
I told her I thought he was a prize dick. He's a nice man, so this is out of character in my opinion and not something he would use as emotional blackmail though. She agrees but ended conversation not feeling any better about it

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 02/05/2016 20:45

Ha ha ha what an edgy, non-PC joker he is! Grin

Wait, no he's not - he's an utter prick.

Clandestino · 02/05/2016 20:46

So he's a nice man.
Fucksolutely NOT.
He's a total prick. If my DH said anything like that, he'd be out in 10 seconds even though I can't imagine him doing anything like that.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 02/05/2016 20:48

The problem with such jokes is that you can never see that person the same ever again. I bet itms a beginning of a slow death of their relationship.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 02/05/2016 20:49

Plus how fucking desperate do you have to be for a BJ to come up with shit like that?! Is he a spotty 17yo?

SilverBirchWithout · 02/05/2016 20:50

That must have really got her in the mood Hmm

I think I would have bitten it.

MangoUnchained · 02/05/2016 20:53

I feel quite disturbed by this. A normal person would not find that funny at all. That is sickening.

Original poster
Sandbrook · 02/05/2016 20:53

Drinkfeckarsegirls you have hit the nail on the head.
What I have previously considered a nice guy has changed with one sentence.
I'm quite worried now as to what this means for her. What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sandbrook · 02/05/2016 20:55

I've just asked DH what he thought of the joke. "Sick as fuck" was his answer

OP posts:
BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 02/05/2016 20:56

Really?

I do struggle to believe that anyone would say this, other than an abusive fuck let alone your friend being unsure what to think. Hmm

Italiangreyhound · 02/05/2016 20:57

Why is the first comment here "OMG. I despair of some women."

Why not OMG. I despair of some men.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why!

RandomMess · 02/05/2016 20:57

The fact that she phoned = it clearly wasn't a silly obvious joke AT ALL therefore absolutely SICK Angry

Shallowstreams · 02/05/2016 20:58

Um wow. I'm absolutely shocked at your responses. It's a bit of an odd thing to say but hardly abusive or psychopathic! I don't even understand where your coming from with that.

As a joke (albeit a poor one) a husband in a good healthy marriage said to his wife 'you know if you don't give me a BJ on a Sunday the kids might die', again AS A JOKE, and you want to call the police?? I'd like to hear that call for a laugh!!!

EvansAndThePrince · 02/05/2016 21:00

They're HIS kids?! I honestly don't know if that makes it better or worse... Nope, no way it makes it better. Neither would the opposite though.

scallopsrgreat · 02/05/2016 21:02

Agree with others. He's an abusive arsehole. The fact your friend had to ask you whether this was OK/normal shows what a number he's doing on her. He's shifted what is 'normal' for her.

Run, run away. (Her not you!)

tibbawyrots · 02/05/2016 21:02

Bloody hell. He is a prize specimen.

Threatening his children's lives because he wanted his knob sucking?

He is not a good dad. Not a good husband. He is a cunt of the highest order.

Definitely wasn't a joke. Nobody jokes about their children's lives.

Even my ex, whom I have little respect for, has never even pretended to disparage our daughter as he loves and values her too much.

Original poster
Sandbrook · 02/05/2016 21:05

Shallowstreams this is how I interpreted it before I posted. Told friend I thought he was a dick for saying it but took it for what he said it was, a stupid horrible joke.

Now I'm sitting here wondering if she's being abused. This is one time I'm not afraid to say I have no idea what to think

OP posts:
Fidelia · 02/05/2016 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohtheholidays · 02/05/2016 21:07

What do you do.You need to tell her that she get's him to leave and I'd tell her to tell a family member first and get them to be with her when she tells him to leave that or she leaves.

I wouldn't be taking any chances if I was your friend and if it was a friend of mine I wouldn't want them taking any chances.

You've said what you've been privvy to OP he might have said or done awful things before to your friend and her DC.

Me and my DH saved my BF from her husband(thankfully now ex)once,we knew she'd had problems with him and I'd hated the bloke for ages and my DH hated him(he can't stand men that are abusive or try to be violent to women or children)because I'd told him what had been going on.But even though we've been BF's and in each other's lifes since we were 3(so 33 years by the time this happened)she hadn't told me quite all,he assaulted my BF and wrecked all of her property and her flat.
My DH is a Police officer and he knew how protective I was of my friend,she's my sister as far as were concerned,but it didn't stop him.

Thankfully my BF was okay and he was arrested and charged and she's moved on and is getting remarried this year to a nice guy Smile So just from what you've said he'd said to his wife I would be really worried about your friend and her DC and I'd want them to get away from him as soon as possible.

Fidelia · 02/05/2016 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 02/05/2016 21:07

Nice blokes don't use terrifying threats about children dying in order to get a BJ. That's fucking sick in the head. She should have obliged and bit it off.

Shallowstreams · 02/05/2016 21:08

I think the responses here have verged into hysteria.

Threatening his children's lives?

He wasn't saying if she didn't give him a BJ he would kill the children.

He was saying it like a superstitious thing, as in 'you know if you don't give me a BJ on a BH Sunday then the kids might die'.

Think of it like if I were walking with you and you tried to walk under a ladder and I said 'something bad will happen to you if you walk under that ladder'. In this scenario I'm not actually threatening you.

Jeez!!

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 02/05/2016 21:09

Does he have OCD or anything like that?

echt · 02/05/2016 21:09

Oh, a superstition he's just invented. Hmm

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/05/2016 21:10

What the fuck? That's just creepy and nasty.

Shallowstreams · 02/05/2016 21:12

Yes echt that's the point. He was trying to be funny by making it up. Whether it was funny or not is by the by.

She's hardly being abused if she just left the room. It doesn't even sound like they were in a sexual encounter at the time.