Disabled priority in lifts?

[harshbuttrue1980]

I had a disagreement with a friend this weekend and genuinely want to know if I am BU. My friend can't walk, and uses a mobility scooter. She isn't in any pain at all, and has no other health issues. She has a great job and a really active life.

We went to a shopping centre this weekend, and the lift was full, so we had to wait to use the next lift. She said afterwards that I should have asked the other people already in the lift to get out so she could get in. I said that I didn't agree with this, as she is equally able to wait as everyone else. She was a bit taken aback.
To clarify, if there was someone on crutches, heavily pregnant, a child having an autistic meltdown or someone else who would struggle with waiting, then I think they should have priority.
Am I being unreasonable to think that someone in a scooter shouldn't ask everyone else to vacate a lift so they don't have to sit in their scooter and wait their turn?

I've seen these threads before and from the first post I was thinking that it's not as simple as waiting for the next lift. Lifts are often crowded and the person using a wheelchair or scooter has to wait and wait and wait.

I will use lifts. At work we have high buildings and our local Debenhams has a weird layout that makes the lift more practical than the escalator (doesn't have stairs). But I would exit a lift for a person using a wheelchair, or buggies or crutches.

Invisible disabilities aside, it's a jerk move to insist on your right to travel by lift ahead of someone who can't use the escalator or stairs.

That comment was for the pp who was comparing

Why do you need to wear a badge? Why can't you when someone in a wheelchair asks (after the 3/4th lift has gone that they can't get into) that could the people WHO ARE CAPABLE please use the stairs/escalators either just stay in the lift without saying anything or just say sorry I can't. You don't need to go into details. And yes before anyone says it I spent 30 years with a hidden disability before I ended up in the wheelchair so I do know exactly what it is like.

Why does one type of disability (hidden) have to trump another? Why can't they both be equal?

I'm at the idea that taking a lift or standing still on an escalator is "lazy". I doubt most able-bodied people make a deliberate choice to avoid the stairs but take whichever option they happen to see. The crowd flow to the escalators and many stand (because it would be chaos if everyone walked...) so the people behind them follow. Lifts are often more prominent than stairs, so people unthinkingly call the lift. It's a very strange attitude to act like stairs are the default and anybody choosing another method is lazy.

I'm also at the people too busy and important to step out of a lift for someone in a wheelchair or scooter, though. It's going to be what, maximum two minutes to wait for the next one?

Someone way up the thread said that "the OP expects to get a place in a lift because her friend is disabled". Errr, no, clearly that person hasn't read my posts correctly. The whole point of this thread is that I thought that my friend and I had to wait our turns to get in the lift!!!

I think it depends on the lift system tbh At our local mall there are 2 floors with lifts going between them. At busy times queues form for the lifts - you get in line, the lift arrives, everyone gets out and the next X people get in. In a scenario like this you just wait your turn, regardless of why you need the lift (people who don't need it obviously use the elavator as it's much quicker).

Where there are multiple floors and lifts are often full then yes I think wheelchair users/those with mobility disabilities should take priority.

This is slightly different - but in the maternity hospital recently it was overcrowded and lots of heavily pregnant women were standing.

I had a seat and I really needed it as I have bad morning sickness and constantly feel like I might pass out. I was hoping no one would think I was selfishly taking up a seat as I wasn't visibly pregnant at the time.

A midwife came out and said to everyone 'can those who aren't pregnant please give up their seats'. A good few dads and some women very reluctantly stood up.

Should the midwife have said nothing in case they had a hidden disability?

I have recently waited 25 minutes for the lift at the maritime museum in Liverpool. I have a very small scooter, but even so it takes up a fair bit of room; I can't just squeeze in at the front. Plus plenty of people were swarming. It was incredibly frustrating.

Like Mrs DeVere's family, my lot are aware of this problem and always walk up while I get the lift.

On good days I use just use my stick and the escalator. I recently witnessed a guy in a wheelchair press the button to call a lift. Then before he could reverse and manoeuvre into position to get it, the lift arrived, a couple of people waltzed straight on oblivious and the lift disappeared without him. He called it again, again the doors opened and shut before he could manoeuvre into position. It was like a particularly black comedy sketch. At this point I went over and pressed the button and held the lift for him. We did a bit of eye rolling; he could've been there all day.

I never use lifts unless the stairs are well hidden or I have heavy luggage. No need or wish to do so.

I always like to be moving at my chosen speed, not standing & dependent on lifts.
Anything up to 10 floors I'd trot up stairs faster than most lifts with their delays (and I'm almost 60, so most younger adults should be faster than me)

It's perfectly reasonable for anyone, wheelchair or otherwise, to ask generally - not addressing a particular person:

"I'm disabled / feeling faint. Would anyone be kind enough to let me on the lift, please ?"
Unless I had a train to catch, I'd certainly take my suitcases out of the lift, let them on and wait for the next.

A disabled person might spend a lot of their time struggling to get on lifts, waiting for loos etc and it must be so draining & depressing for them.
So, I help by showing a little consideration whenever I can.
That might be me disabled sometime in the future. I'm just thankful I'm fit so far.

Samcro nope, I'm talking C (town north of where I am). CS is also shocking though

never been to C. CS is a joke

I wonder what life would be like if every lift user had to state their reason out loud. Judging by this thread you'd get a lot of:
"Wheelchair user can get the next one"
"It's first come first served"
And a couple of
"I have an invisible disability it makes me embarrassed to mention".

The people with the first points of view should be rightly ashamed of themselves which is why they never do say them out loud in person but study their shoes or the ceiling instead.

It's like the people pretend to be deaf when the bus driver asks them patiently to move down the bus. It's obviously easier for people to pretend, like Alexa, that the wheelchair users who have had to wait 20-30m are lying.

Ok i was wrong 25 minutes for a lift its a disgrace selfish gits

Songbird, calling me a scumbag/journalist is just a silly way to respond to someone, and says more about you than it says about me - you can disagree with someone in a polite and intelligent way. AIBU is a discussion forum, and you should expect to see different views without resorting to namecalling.

Mrs Devere, if you are genuinely interested in how we got to the shopping centre (can't see why you would be, but OK!!), we both live on the outskirts of London (different ends of London). We both park our cars at carparks near quiet tube stations on the outskirts and get the tube in to London and meet up at an accessible tube station in London. For whoever thought my friend was "imaginary" - of course!! It's not as if an able bodied person can be friends with a disabled person, is it?? Again, your comment says more about you than me.

Some people raised pushing in people pushing in is a different issue and is totally unacceptable!! If you miss the first lift, you should be able to get in the next one as everyone should take their turn. Therefore, waiting time would be minimal.
My friend and I ended up waiting a couple of minutes and were then able to get in the next lift.

Why does one type of disability (hidden) have to trump another?

I don't believe it does at all. The badge comment was sarcasm to a pp.

It doesn't. But there is a difference between preferring to use a lift, and having to.

Maybe all disadvantaged people should have badges ?

Disabled ? Gay ? Ethnic minorities ?

Can't believe no one hasn't thought of it before !

I would prefer a sparkly sign with arrow tbh

As a wheelchair user, I prefer my relative /friend/carer to be in the lift with me, for various reasons.

Generally I don't expect to go first. Usually it's a short wait, and it's fine. I do really, really appreciate those that allow me to go first as I usually have a very short amount of time to be somewhere in terms of energy and fatigue, so the quicker I can do something and get back home, the better the day is.

The other day I went to the theatre. It was a birthday treat for my mum, not something I often do. I got through it with lots of painkillers and red bull. (And still fell asleep, but anyway...). Afterwards I really, really wanted to go home.

The set up was there were three floors. The lower floor was the car park, the middle floor the theatre, and the top floor the cafe.

When we joined there was quite a queue. One wheelchair user, one person on walking sticks and a lot of parents with children aged approx 8+ (so not toddlers or pushchairs.)

The problem was a lot of people were arriving for the evening performance early, and were constantly getting on at the lower floor car park. Some got off on our floor, but mostly were going to the cafe. The doors kept opening and they would shrug and say they were going up. After ten minutes I could have cried, I was in agony and just wanted to get in the car and sleep. Most of the families were able to get on as the lift could fit more people, and not a wheelchair. Other families headed to the stairs right next to the lifts. It left the two wheelchair users and the the guy on the sticks. Eventually they got on, but the wheelchair wasn't big enough for both of us, so I had to wait much longer.

I understand those on the lift couldn't tell how long we'd been waiting, nor how much pain we were in. Nor could I tell if they had invisible conditions. What could have been done here? I would never demand to go first or for people to get off, but I guess the theatre could have stepped in and asked that disabled people be a priority after a performance and those that can use the stairs do so. That of course would ha e included anyone with invisible conditions or short-term injuries.

Some disabled Mumsnetters have posted why sometimes it is distressing for them to wait.
Other Mumsnetters find this topic amusing

I've posted about how I've suffered racism and I'm certainly not laughing at the suggestion of a badge for ethnic minorities. Fuck right off trying that.

I think she should have priority over those who can walk if everyone was just getting into the lift, but not to the extent of asking people to get out when they are already in.

It's a hard one and you can't always tell how much someone needs the lifts just by looking.

I can whizz around Newcastle quite happily on my own. I've worked on my unsteadiness with down escalators and only occasionally have to give up trying to get on one because of vertigo.

Taking ds1 around is a completely different experience. He has ASD and escalators are out, full stop.

We can sometime manage stairs together but I sometimes have leg pain or unsteadiness which makes them very difficult for me and more than one floor is almost always out of the question, neither up or down.

To complicate matters, some of the store stairwells have smells or acoustics that ds1 reacts very badly to. Some of the metro stations don't even have stairs, so we have to get the bus or queue for the tiny lift provided.

So we use the lifts a lot, even though at a quick glance, we're both apparently without disability

The metro is totally inaccessible to people who use wheelchairs. I had to pay a lot out in taxis when I visited London.

In terms of "says more about you than me" namecalling - your very OP tells me everything I need to know about you.

And I went on to clarify that remark anyway so you're just jumping on a good excuse to namecall yourself. I am not unintelligent nor impolite.

This thread is both unpleasant and prejudiced and I'm choosing to hide it and not post here anymore.