Disabled priority in lifts?

[harshbuttrue1980]

I had a disagreement with a friend this weekend and genuinely want to know if I am BU. My friend can't walk, and uses a mobility scooter. She isn't in any pain at all, and has no other health issues. She has a great job and a really active life.
We went to a shopping centre this weekend, and the lift was full, so we had to wait to use the next lift. She said afterwards that I should have asked the other people already in the lift to get out so she could get in. I said that I didn't agree with this, as she is equally able to wait as everyone else. She was a bit taken aback.
To clarify, if there was someone on crutches, heavily pregnant, a child having an autistic meltdown or someone else who would struggle with waiting, then I think they should have priority.
Am I being unreasonable to think that someone in a scooter shouldn't ask everyone else to vacate a lift so they don't have to sit in their scooter and wait their turn?

[PlaymobilPirate]

Sauvignon - totally different.

[PPie10]

Yanbu, nobody should have to get out for her, she should ask herself if she felt that strongly.

[Binkybix]

YABU. If it's somewhere busy and she has no other option how long does she have to wait?

This is a subject close to my heart as me with pushchair in a similar scenario was the subject of my first ever AIBU OP. Fond memories.

[Sirzy]

But Mary the problem is people who aren't in a wheelchair may also struggle with stairs so how do you decide on the order of priority?

[SauvignonBlanche]

I tried to get to the top floor at the Guniness factory in Dublin where I'd agreed to meet the DCs.

Despite all the lifts saying that wheelchair users had priority I had to wait for 20 minutes for a lift that could fit in a wheelchair. Everyone just looked at us when the doors opened, I should have asked people who could get out to get out but just couldn't believe it was happening.

[YorkieDorkie]

Sauvignon that's not really appropriate here whilst I do agree with the equity stance.

YANBU OP. She's capable of waiting for the 30 seconds it takes for the list to return. What if there was another disabled user? She'd have had to wait then so what's the issue?

[PPie10]

Given that people might have hidden disabilities, who gets to decide who is being unreasonable

[YorkieDorkie]

Good point pie.

[SauvignonBlanche]

No it's not PlaymobilPirate, the little kid's got two boxes, some narrow-minded fucker will call that 'special treatment',. It'll be the sort of person that thinks that allowing disabled people priority use of the only sort of access that they can use.

[NeedAGrip]

I think that someone who is incapable of using stairs or escalators should have priority in a lift over someone who can use stairs or escalators.

Your friend in a mobility scooter may be equally capable of waiting. But an able bodied person who would prefer to use the lift has the option of going off to the stairs if the wait looks like being a long one.
Judging by the number of people I've seen walk away from busy lift queues towards stairs, I'd guess that plenty (of course not all) would-be lift users have no mobility issues but would just rather not use stairs if they can avoid it.

The only bit where I think your friend is being unreasonable is the bit where she didn't ask the other people to move, and then told you off for not asking them to move.

[Chippednailvarnish]

YANBU.

And the idea that you should have asked for her is simply ridiculous.

[FarrowandBallAche]

I think in these circumstances she could have waited for the next lift. It's not like she would have to wait 30 mins like she would if she were waiting for a bus.

[harshbuttrue1980]

I'm glad that most people seem to agree - from being her friend and doing lots of things together, I have really seen how hard her life is in many ways, and I wouldn't want to be unsupportive. Things like bus drivers driving past (with space on their bus), because they can't be bothered to put the ramp down etc. At the same time, we are really good friends and have been for years - we are both honest with each other and aren't afraid to disagree.
I help her as much as I can, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable asking people in a full lift to get out so she could get on.
I agree with one of the comments above - if I was waiting in a line to get in the lift, I would probably offer a disabled person the chance to get on before me. It does seem different though when the people are already in the lift .
For the poster who mentioned the waiting time, I can see why that would be a frustration. In this case, we had only just arrived at the lift so there wasn't any waiting time.

[PlaymobilPirate]

The op said they had to wait for the next lift my comment was based on this scenario. I'm not some narrow minded fucker ta.

[hazeyjane]

OK I just checked and I was so pissed off that day in Oxford that I emailed the Ashmolean about the lifts - at one point on the way down, we waited 15 minutes, got on a lift, had to get out to let someone out and some arsehole pushed the button before we could get back on and we had to wait another 10 minutes before a lift had enough room!

The email I got back said that the lifts had been installed to improve accessibility, but they had had several complaints like ours, so they were considering putting signs in saying disabled visitors had priority.

I had erased the whole thing from my brain (there was a lot of crying!!)

Have changed my mind, YABU (although not sure why friend expected you to ask)

[MarthaCliffYouCunt]

She said afterwards that I should have asked the other people already in the lift to get out so she could get in

Has she no tongue in her own head? Wtf should you ask them?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Am depressed most people agree.

Able bodied people can use the stairs.

Your friend only had the lift as an option. If they can use the stairs then they should be anyway.

[harshbuttrue1980]

When I said I would "probably" let a disabled person on before me btw, I meant someone in a scooter! Someone on crutches etc, I would definitely let on first!!!

[SauvignonBlanche]

The friend may have asked you to ask as a wheelchair user is usually only at waist height and it's harder to attract people attention from down there.

As to all the comments about waiting for the next lift, what if the next one's full and the next one's full and the next one's full? I could go on...

It's happened to me.

[harshbuttrue1980]

Mrs De Vere, you appear to have not understood or read my post. I don't have a disability. I wasn't in the lift - I was with my friend who is in a scooter. Are you saying that I should have used the stairs and left my friend to take the lift alone?? We were out for the day together!! I think my friend would be affronted at the idea of not being able to go around the shopping centre with a friend.
Also, as I wasn't in the lift, I'm not sure what your point is, and how me walking would have helped my friend get in the lift any faster?? I was standing with her waiting for an empty lift.

[LittleHouseOnTheShelf]

OP why should you have asked? She has a voice of her own and can ask for herself.

[harshbuttrue1980]

Sauvignon - she's about a foot taller than me, and we both have frequently laughed at the fact that she is about the same height as me when she's in her scooter.