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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've stomped off.

44 replies

lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:03

Bugger.
We've come out to a big animal park with my husband and his family. My 6 month old daughter has cried literally all day apart from the two hours my husband insisted we sit in the cafe while she sleep (I'd have let her sleep in the buggy).
Nerves are very frayed.
Sister in law started pushing my daughter ten mins ago. She stopped crying. "Must be the parenting!" She joked. I know it was a joke.

I've stomped off and am hiding near the exit. It's a big park and they might not be back here for another couple of hours. I don't want to phone them to find out where they are because a) I feel embarrassed and b) I'm still very frayed.
Anyone fancy sitting and stomping with me please? Confused

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 02/05/2016 16:05

I'd go and have a cup of tea in peace - and possibly some Cake

Coconutty · 02/05/2016 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:06

He has my purse!

No, because then I have to go back and face the screaming again...

OP posts:
BeckyWithTheShitHair · 02/05/2016 16:08

Just take some time to yourself to calm down. Your SIL is likely worrying about upsetting you, and your husband is likely advising her not to phone you and to give you some space.

Maybe go back to the cafe for another drink, then give them a phone to check where they are. Apologise for being over sensitive and tell SIL you know it was just a joke. Tell her she can make it up to you though by babysitting for an afternoon this week. A joke, of course (or maybe not, if she's willing).

Then go and pet a llama or something.

Horsemad · 02/05/2016 16:08

Stay where you are then and wait until you feel more sociable!

bibbitybobbityyhat · 02/05/2016 16:09

Expect your dd to come down with something tonight, or perhaps she's teething? It's not normal for a 6 month old baby to scream all day. I know it's hard, but she must be feeling unwell.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:10

Honestly, she screams so much. In my group of friends it's a running joke now difficult my baby is. Sad this is normal, not ill. I even took her to urgent care once cause I thought it wasn't normal and they said she was absolutely fine...

OP posts:
gingergenie · 02/05/2016 16:11

Oh god I feel for you. Mine are all long past that thankfully, but I spent years in Frayedville!!! Enjoy the peace, don't fret, take some deep breaths, and meet up with them with a 'thanks for strong in guys, I really needed to de-stress and you've been absolute Stars' xxx

gingergenie · 02/05/2016 16:11

stepping in

bibbitybobbityyhat · 02/05/2016 16:12

Running joke? I would take her back to the GP.

Kelsoooo · 02/05/2016 16:12

Could she have a milk protein allergy? I know my daughter screamed incessantly for about 9montjs until we accidentally discovered the allergy (and then had it confirmed)

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 02/05/2016 16:14

You should at least text your DH to say you are OK just nerves frayed to nothing and need to unwind.

They don't know that you know SIL was joking. She probably feels awful. DH is must be embarrassed too. His family will be speculating about you and him. A simple text to DH can help him fix it with them.

Assuming they are all nice normal people of course.

AyeAmarok · 02/05/2016 16:15

Enjoy the hour or two of peace and quiet Smile

Can you do one of those new fangled phone things were you take money out of a hole-in-the-wall using your phone banking app? Then you can go and buy a tea and read Mumsnet.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:15

Yes, as in,"God I darent have another baby in case it turns out like yours lily!" SadSadSad
Thanks for the hand holding tho, it's helping to have some conversation...

OP posts:
BeckyWithTheShitHair · 02/05/2016 16:21

My daughter was also a screamer. I remember the stress so well. You have my utmost sympathy. Maybe ask the HV to come out and visit her at home for a discussion? That's what I did and it honestly helped so much. Health visitors don't really do much visiting in my area unless you phone up and request them to come out specifically.

BillBrysonsBeard · 02/05/2016 16:23

You enjoy the peace OP and have a chat with the elephants, they are very relaxing Grin I don't blame you at all, even a joke can send us over the edge if we are at the end of our tether. I am pretty dark humoured when it comes to jokes so can take most things, but think she misjudged the timing.. I'm sure you looked stressed. Shame you can't have a cuppa!

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:26

Yes is maybe a good idea.
Have phoned him to come and get me.

OP posts:
madcapcat · 02/05/2016 16:27

That is so rude of your friends imo. My youngest niece used to scream whenever she saw me -i had her for one day and was completely frazzled. Longer term would have been a nightmare . Happy to keep you company in stomping though. Currently on holiday with inlays and dmil (who I promise I actually get on with in her house and at ours just not today) who is diabetic and even more overweight than I am has just bought 10 packets of sweets and 14 different chocolate bars in the shop.

Zaphodsotherhead · 02/05/2016 16:28

Sit down, look at the birds and the sun (if you've got any) and just get your breath back. I had a screamer - the first nine months of her life she only slept at night for four hours, no naps in the day and while she was awake she was screaming.

She's 26 now and went to Oxford.

So, things will get better. For now, just try to keep some vestiges of a sense of humour and be grateful for a moment's peace.

Pseudo341 · 02/05/2016 16:29

I've had two hight maintenance babies. My eldest had silent reflux caused by cows milk protein allergy. Little one is just a madam as far as we can work out. Stomping is perfectly justified. I suggest you continue stomping, fresh air and exercise might make you feel better.

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:30

Lol at the dmil and the sweets. Sounds like I feel ATM. Could happily comfort wat my way through several family bags.

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/05/2016 16:30

💐

Try a cranial osteopath that specialises in babies, it's sometimes easily solved.

If not then you need to persist with your GP. Babies don't cry for the fun of it, something isn't right and you need to get it sorted, for your sake as well as hers ☕️🍫

Original poster
lilyboleyn · 02/05/2016 16:30

Eat

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 02/05/2016 16:33

Poor you. You do sound as if you've reached the end of your tether and SIL's remark just tipped you over the edge.

It's many years since I've had small children - youngest is about to have her second - and I would never have had the courage to stomp off when out with the IL, but oh there were so many time I'd wished I could :). I do however, have a lot of photos of days out with them with me sitting there with a look of thunder on my face.

I would call your DH maybe he could leave your ILs to look after your baby for an hour or so and let the two of you just sit and have a coffee together.

Also agree with pp, I think I'd try to get the constant screaming investigated a bit more.

hmcAsWas · 02/05/2016 16:34

It may have been a joke, but it was an ill judged one!

I hope that your day gets better