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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be massively bothered

28 replies

ScrotesOnFire · 02/05/2016 08:56

About not being invited to SIL's party?

Hope I don't out myself here..

My SIL is holding a party for the new baby, my MIL and aunts have all been invited, but not me.
I'm not really fussed as I don't 'fit' in with any of SIL's friends and know I would only likely be sat feeling uncomfortable but my DH and his parents are quite cross that I haven't been invited and think it's really rude.
I DO feel a teeny weeny bit irritated that MIL was invited and not me, but I also think it's a bit of a mountain molehill situation.

OP posts:
GinAndColonic · 02/05/2016 09:02

YANBU

HoggleHoggle · 02/05/2016 09:08

I think it's possibly a touch rude but nothing major - after all it is her mum she's inviting. If she's inviting siblings or other sils, then yes that's very rude.

Lemonade1 · 02/05/2016 09:12

Well it makes it abundantly clear that she doesn't think of you as family, so use information as you wish really.

Btw what the hell is a party for a new baby about?

Please don't tell me we now have to have baby showers, baby sex reveal parties, christenings/naming ceremonies, birthdays AND new baby parties??

Only1scoop · 02/05/2016 09:14

Is your DH going without you?

funniestWins · 02/05/2016 09:14

Isn't MIL her mother (the new grandmother) therefore above you in the order of who to invite?

Are the aunts great aunts to the baby or your SIL's sisters?

You can only really compare yourself in like-for-like so if she's invited any of her other brothers' wives youre right to feel a little put out. If not, especially as you don't want to go, it seems you're being pretty unreasonable.

Original poster
ScrotesOnFire · 02/05/2016 09:21

No no, MIL is not her mum!
Our MIL - I am married to one brother and she is married to the other.
SIL's mum and our MIL both invited.

Great aunts to the baby and only girls have been invited - no men.

OP posts:
funniestWins · 02/05/2016 09:25

Ah!

It wouldn't worry me unless there was a third brother who's wife was invited particularly if I didn't even want to go.

You're being unreasonable.

Only1scoop · 02/05/2016 09:25

Sounds like the kind of crap I'd be happy not to attend to be honest.

Sorry no helpGrin

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/05/2016 09:27

It is pretty rude of her to not invite you.

Skittlesss · 02/05/2016 09:29

MIL as in your husband and her husband's mother. As in the grandmother of the baby? She has as much "right" to be there for the baby as the woman's mother does. You can't compare yourself to a grandmother - who is a blood relative - you're simply married to the baby's uncle.

emilybrontescorset · 02/05/2016 09:29

If you're not bothered then thats cool.

To be fair to her she's not that close to you as in you are both on the edges of your ohs family. Don't know how else to phrase that. Anyway my ex sil would not have invited me in those circumstances and vice versa.

I don't think you'll be missing much.

iklboo · 02/05/2016 09:30

How is the OP being unreasonable for not being bothered?

TheSnowFairy · 02/05/2016 09:30

Very rude.

Good job you're not bothered Grin

Tiggeryoubastard · 02/05/2016 09:32

A party for a new baby with only women? Sounds an odd idea anyway. Be grateful, sounds like you've had a good miss from her silliness.

gamerchick · 02/05/2016 09:33

Sounds like a lucky escape to me.

Original poster
ScrotesOnFire · 02/05/2016 09:34

Yes, the grandmother of the baby.
I'm not comparing myself, nor do I expect my MIL not to be invited.
Of course she has as much right to be there.
I'm just just feel it's a teeny weeny bit rude but it's not something I'll lose sleep over.
But, as I said in my OP it's my DH and in laws who are the most cross - not me.

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 02/05/2016 09:38

Does she not like you?

AugustaFinkNottle · 02/05/2016 09:39

Well, she's effectively given you permission not to invite her to things, so that's probably a plus.

Whatamuckingfuddle · 02/05/2016 09:49

It's rude but if you aren't bothered, at least you don't have to include her in your own things now if you aren't a big fan of hers

Original poster
ScrotesOnFire · 02/05/2016 09:50

I'm not really sure, but I have to assume not as pretty much every woman in the family has been invited except me!

OP posts:
DailyMailDick · 02/05/2016 09:56

It wouldn't bother me unless I thought it was deliberately done to offend me. Then I still wouldn't be offended but I would feel a bit sad that she was such a pathetic person and I'd probably end up running into her over the years.

There is no law to say sil's have to get on but i can t see what the problem is with being polite with each other.

YANBU

Crisscrosscranky · 02/05/2016 10:02

You're the babies aunt (albeit by marriage)? Then she's rude.

YANBU to not be bothered but I think it's sad. I only have a brother and DH has 4 brothers so I'll only ever be a paternal aunt/aunt by marriage and I'd be devastated not not be an actively involved (read: favourite) auntie! Blush

Skittlesss · 02/05/2016 10:02

Have you seen her since she invited everyone? How did she invite them? Just thinking maybe if you haven't seen her then she hasn't had chance to tell you? But if she text messaged or called people then I can see why you know you haven't been invited. Hope that makes sense!!

emilybrontescorset · 02/05/2016 10:04

From the sounds of it I doubt you'd be missing much.

Are you expected to take a gift?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/05/2016 10:04

That's actually really rude of her!