To wonder if you take your primary aged DCs to school and pick them up?

[Sunnydayinapril]

First of all no one is being criticised

Looking into work that might be able to allow me in the future to do this (not an issue at the moment.)

My parents never did as they always worked. It didn't bother me.

But I think I'd like to pick my children up.

Do you, and if not who does?

I take them because they go to school way out if catchment ( not our choice) and I cannot find childcare locally which drops off at their school. Tey are dropped at breakfast club in school at 8am. The baby goes to a cm, drop off 7:30, but she only does pick up and drop offs locally. They are collected from school by an after school club which has them til I get them at 6 ish. Then we get the baby from his cm at 6:30 ish. It's exhausting and I hate it but whst choice do I have? I can't just not work.

Yes, I work from home. It (me working from home) has been good for them but probably not as good for me as I find the lack of interaction and the self discipline quite hard.

at school policies to involve social services for potentially 9 year old kids walking to and from school without a parent - presumably these schools are in the middle of motorways or war zones or seriously dodgy areas?

The policy allows kids from year 5 as a rule, so that covers 9 - 11 year olds.

DS school has a policy of 'town lunch' which allows P7s (age 11/12) to leave the school to walk into town (there are various routes) for lunch on each Friday of their final term.
They will be free to do it every day at Secondary I was reluctant to give my permission to allow this also want to promote his independence and self-reliance re time-keeping etc.

AlwaysPitchperfect

I found the same link earlier, but it doesn't say what age the children were.

Of course children have more limited perceptions than adults.

But, for example, I trust my DS in general because he has always been very wary of anything going in his direction, so I know he would not cross in front of a moving car.

Having said that, I think children can get a good perception the more they practice. If we train them to judge when they can cross rather than just follow us, they are more likely to develop the skills to judge speed.

IME, DS is also more likely to be more careful if I'm not crossing with him than if he's with me (when he expects me to make the decision).

Ds was walking from end of year 4 as year 5 was middle school and they all walk by themselves then.

I did a search too and found this, quite lengthy but has a lot of information on the ages of development of road safety aspects (e.g. visual perception) ec.europa.eu/transport/road_safety/specialist/erso/pdf/safety_issues/age_group/01-child_traffic_safety_en.pdf

The key thing to take from that is that if you want your children to learn to be safe on the road then you should walk or cycle with them rather than travel by car - children that travel in the car are more at risk when they start travelling independently.

Also this A clear improvement in the recognition of how to cope with the dangers of crossing the street occurs around the age of seven and eight asirt.org/Initiatives/Informing-Road-Users/Resources-Publications/Youth-Road-Safety-Education#lessons_learned

I do almost all drop-offs but only pick up one day per week - the rest of the week pick ups are done by my parents or MIL. I would rather do pick up than drop off in an ideal world (just because then I would see more of DS after school and it opens up more options for playdates etc) but my working hours won't allow that. I'm not sure doing the drop off makes much difference although it can sometimes be good from an information sharing POV (i.e. I hear other parents talking about homework/school trips/issues in school) which I might have missed otherwise.

In a blue moon. They seem fine with it. Makes for a nice treat when I can turn up and be the quintessential Disney parent for a change and take them for an icecream at 3pm instead of bundling them in the car at the CM's at 6pm already stressing about bath time, homework, supper and bedtime before 8pm.

I got myself to and from school a quarter mile away after a few weeks in Reception but it was all a bit different in the 70's

A perk of living somewhere where all kids take themselves to and from school is that kids organise their own "playdates" - they agree plans with friends at school, come home, ask permission, finish homework then phone the friend to confirm mutual permission, then friend turns up, either on foot unaccompanied or escorted on a bicycle or by car if they are from a different village.

The whole school gate thing could be redundant, but I guess it never will be because its one of those things everyone has to buy into and you can't wind time back :o I think the rot set in with the whole choice of going to out of catchment schools instead of just going to the local one except in exceptional circumstances... spiralled from there as more kids were driven from further away, so traffic around schools got worse, which meant more children otherwise fully capable of walking in little groups were driven, which meant it was more dangerous to walk unaccompanied and there were fewer classmates to walk with, which meant more children were driven...

Natsku. Interesting reading, particularly the europa one.

Children just go to their nearest school here usually so it is much easier for them to travel alone, its only in very rural areas that it would be too far to walk or bike. Out of catchment schools have much to be blamed for!

Interesting to read this. schwaebisch and natsku I was horrified when dc1 started school in Germany aged six. The headteacher told everyone at the first parents evening that we should NOT bring or collect our children under any circumstances as they benefit from the independence, it creates too much traffic and we need to let go. There were recommended ways to get to school and we all got a map showing the safest routes. There were always a few parents on the playground anyway = social death for the kids. The dc managed it - 20 min walk - with no problems after lots of practise in the summer holidays, as did all their friends. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to allow this in the UK, although it's no more dangerous there.

One big difference from the UK is that people in Germany will not hesitate to intervene if a child they don't know is doing something potentially dangerous (e.g. walking in the road, balancing on the kerb etc.), being silly or getting bullied. It does help to keep children safe.

The differences between countries is interesting, I found this graph www.psi.org.uk/children_mobility/cim_graph/1773 Japan has the vast majority of children travelling home alone right from the start! England on the other hand doesn't have a big increase until secondary school age.

This one too, about crossing main roads alone www.psi.org.uk/children_mobility/cim_graph/1775

Children also get distracted easier at primary age so may just chat and follow friends rather than making sure it's safe to cross.

I think years gone by it was primary school age children who had the most accidents but of course the peak now is later as they are supervised when younger. I think you can teach crossing roads to a certain extent, but children forget, get distracted and haven't the visual acuity to judge appropriately. Great if you can wait until there is no traffic, but in some places that won't happen often!

I have been struck that in Germany and France, the road are just much less busy in general, the traffic here is not generally associated with school (it doesn't go up the road to or from school).

There is always the fear of stranger danger here and after a series of high profile incidents I am not surprised that parents continue to walk them to school.

Also if you are going to let them come home because of work, how long do you leave them for? I'm ok now as have older children who can supervise in that respect but I don't think I'd want a yr 4 cooking their own tea!

That's true too Schwabish - the dc took/take themselves to 80 percent of their out of school activities from about age 7 and organise all their own playdates as you describe. This level of independence definitely stems from gaining confidence via getting themselves to school. It only works if everyone does it though! I wouldn't allow them to do it in the UK, just because it's generally not normal for 7yos there.

On a Monday and Tuesday I drop the kids off and my dad picks them up. Wednesday and Thursday DH drops them at breakfast club and I pick them up from after school care. I don't work on a Friday so i have the luxury of dropping them up and picking them up. I'd like to be able to pick them up from school more often but i can't see that happening.

Interesting that Portugal (where I now live) is later than England.

My DS is one of the few that does walk home or to activities alone.

Most children, at 10/11, are still attending after school clubs and are picked up and transported in their minibuses.
DS is probably one of the most independent children.

It also depends on your work times. We leave for work early, so unless we use breakfast club, my children would have to get themselves out if bed and give themselves breakfast before getting to school. Otherwise, I may as well walk with them. It's nice!

Ds is in year 1, ds starts reception next year. Dh and I spent the first year when dd was in reception both full time but working flexible hours, trying to juggle the school run and all the school holidays between us, with a couple of days a week paying another school mum to pick up and look after for a couple of hours. It was fucking ridiculous. I had to go part time (dh earns more as I've taken time of for maternity leave during which he was getting promotions etc, also he's management which doesn't lend itself to part time). Even then it was a constant stress trying to fit pick up and drop off and all the holiday cover into our working week. I asked my work to drop even more hours. They said no. I resigned. Now I can do all the drop offs and pick ups and holiday childcare, yay but we can only eat beans on toast and gruel.

I take/collect ds2 (Y3). Ds1 (Y5) walks with a friend - he'd be totally humiliated if I took him. Ds2 will start walking with ds1 next year - just needs to brush up on his road crossing first.

The council upgraded a lot of the crossing points near the school a year ago - installed traffic islands and a zebra crossing. That's been a big help in letting go.

Oops, I meant dd is in year 1, sorry.

The peak in traffic deaths is 18-20 here (which makes sense, I bet most happen because drunks wander out onto the road), very few children are killed despite being allowed to walk and cycle alone.

Ds(9) is at a middle school - yr 5/6/7 and all of them can walk to and from school, no permission required. On the odd occasion when I meet him after school, its pretty much only parents with younger siblings at the first school next door who are picking up middle school pupils.
DS loves that independance