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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if you take your primary aged DCs to school and pick them up?

166 replies

Sunnydayinapril · 26/04/2016 06:57

First of all no one is being criticised

Looking into work that might be able to allow me in the future to do this (not an issue at the moment.)

My parents never did as they always worked. It didn't bother me.

But I think I'd like to pick my children up.

Do you, and if not who does?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunnydayinapril · 26/04/2016 07:38

I don't really think any primary school children should be getting themselves to school, unless in year 6!

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 26/04/2016 07:40

Why not? Confused Mine has since he was 7. We're only a few blocks away and he usually walks with other kids.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/04/2016 07:41

I take and fetch my 5 yo except when I am working - then DH does (he has to leave for work an hour later than usual in order to do that, which is fine with his work but a PITA for him because traffic is worse at that time, but he has to suck that up if we want my income :o I I work part time but no flexibility on my start time). 5 yo has a breakfast club equivalent (though we are abroad and the system isn't comparable really). I always fetch the 5 yo because I work 6am - 2pm and / or evenings, so I am always available to pick him up.

My nearly 9 and nearly 11 year olds take themselves to and from school by bus (school bus for the nearly 9 yo, a different school and a public bus used almost but not quite exclusively by school kids for the nearly 11 yo) and have done since they were 6. It would be social death to take a child over 7 to school here, but that is because we live in Germany :o

gallicgirl · 26/04/2016 07:41

Either myself or DP (usually me) drop and collect. 2 days a week I drop DD at breakfast club and her childminder collects. She's only reception class but we live too far for me to consider letting her travel alone when older. I could supervise from a distance or allow part of the journey alone once she's in y6.

This isn't a question really about your child's independence though, more about your ability to work and get your child to school.

Lilaclily · 26/04/2016 07:44

Sunny day : its not a one size fits all, plenty of year 4 kids mature enough, plenty of year 6s not mature enough

StoorieHoose · 26/04/2016 07:44

Why don't you think they should walk by themselves?

Original poster
Sunnydayinapril · 26/04/2016 07:45

Just seems a bit young to me.

OP posts:
Gowgirl · 26/04/2016 07:49

My yr4 walks himself to school, but I still pick him up, I won't from September but I will be walking the youngest to nursery next door so will probally walk with him. However I can see the school from the upstairs Windows!

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2016 07:49

I do but it's too far to walk and I can do it as I'm self employed.
We have a park and stride though and my year 6 walks up from there with her friends and I will probably let DS do the same when he's in year 3 or 4

MyLocal · 26/04/2016 07:56

I went on reduced hours when mine started school, so did 2 full days and three 9:30 to 2:30, mum dropped off and collected on my two full days. Mind you I did the same workload in those 30 hours that I did in 36 before but it was worth it to be able to to do the pick ups and drop offs.

Both mum and I lived easy walk to the primary school but I did work 15 miles away so drop off at 8:40 then mad drive to the city to start work, hen the same in reverse.

Lweji · 26/04/2016 07:56

If we were still in London I'd have let ds walk home earlier, as there were no roads at all to cross from school.
But we left when he was in Reception.

Where we live now he walked to his grandparents from when he was 9 or 10, with only one not very busy road.

He's 11 now (in a different school) and he regularly walks to the grandparents, which is a 10 min walk.
And has walked home a few times (20 min walk or so).
It's more about the weight he has to carry than safety.

NapQueen · 26/04/2016 07:58

We live on a side street with the school at the top over a road (not a main road) which has a lollypop lady on morning and afternoons. So mine will be walking alone as soon as school permits.

Ditsy4 · 26/04/2016 08:02

Year 6 nearly all go home themselves. A few Year 5's go home a lone. We see Yr 3 and 4s to carers at the door so expect them to be taken to and from school. A couple of Yr 4s who live nearby go alone but one is an accident waiting to happen. Parents need to come in and inform staff if that is the case. None of my Yr 3's go on their own.
I took and picked up my children until Year 6 only two roads to cross and about 3 minute walk but careless parent drivers about. I liked to see them come out of school to as it was time to talk, arrange play dates etc.

Queenie73 · 26/04/2016 08:03

I don't drive and it's too far to walk, so children 1,2 and 3 get the bus to school, along with child 4 who goes to nursery in the same building.

redskytonight · 26/04/2016 08:09

My Y5 DD cycles some days and is taken/picked up by me on other days. We've done a range of things over the years though - being taken by DH and picked up by me/ lift share with neighbours/breakfast club and picked up by DH/ breakfast and after school club.

My observation is that most parents work part time or arrange work round their OHs, or able to manage to work flexibly so that they pick their DC up at least occasionally (like once a month). But there are plenty of DC who have childminders all the time or use before and after school care all the time. IMO, especially at infants it's good to take/pick up occasionally as it keeps you connected with the school. But then it depends on schools - DD's juniors "assumes" that parents work so doesn't have any expectation of parents being available during the day - whereas DD's infants did.

allegretto · 26/04/2016 08:12

Yes, I do since last year when I got a transfer closer to home. It has been really great actually as I have a far better knowledge of what goes on at school and which friend is which. I think if you can do it then I would! (Obviously not criticizing those who can't - with DS1 I hardly ever managed to take or collect him due to commuting).

raisedbyguineapigs · 26/04/2016 08:18

I did it every day for a while when I worked from home. I found it really tedious and stressful. I had work to do and had to get back home while everyone else seemed to want to chat\go for coffee for 2 hours\ had to leave the house at 2.30 if you need to drive and park somewhere. Now I do it twice a week. That's enough for me! It's overrated IMO!

HairSlide · 26/04/2016 08:18

I do, DS is 6 and I will probably continue to take him and pick him up until he is about 8.

It's a tiny village school, no roads to cross etc and he'll be walking with other children, some older, when the time comes.

That said, a couple of parents let their 5/6 year olds go on their own and many people comment saying they are a bit young.

TeenAndTween · 26/04/2016 08:20

I walk my y6, not because she needs it, but because we both enjoy it.

At our school some children walk themselves from year 3 as some houses are very close to the school. By y6 most are walking themselves.

my2bundles · 26/04/2016 08:22

My son is yr 3 and walked to and from school. It's school policy to hand them over to an adult at the end of the day, I'm not sure what year this changes but I've seen some year 6 walking home without an adult. I think year 6 is the youngest I would do it .

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 26/04/2016 08:26

I take my 5 year old DS to school and pick him up, yes.
I used to take his 10 year old sister to school and pick her up a lot as well, but stopped doing that when I split with my ex. From what I have been told she goes to an ASC now. Her parents mustn't be comfortable with her making her own way home from school yet.

Dellarobia · 26/04/2016 08:30

I have 3 primary age DC and work part time. I take them every day (but 3 times a week to breakfast club rather than school) and pick them up 3 times a week. I feel good that I can pick them up most days, and don't mind at all about the days I can't.

SuperFlyHigh · 26/04/2016 08:33

Back in 70s/80s my mum was the rare breed of single parent who worked... But she worked as a primary school teacher and always walked us to school and picked us up afterwards.

We did this until i think I was about 9 and DB 7 or 8. The reason earlier when I was 8 about not making our own way home was because we both went to a new school for a year only (then back to our old nearer school) which was about a 15-20 minute walk away across a busy road and we often got dropped there by car. Can't recall if we just walked home by ourselves otherwise but from like I say 9 onwards (which was literally 2 minute walk from the school anyway). There were no after school or breakfast clubs then.

Lots of parents I see now (I live near a school too) walk or drive kids up to school until about 7 or 8-9 it seems then they go by themselves. They also take the bus (small bus which goes round side streets) too.

yomellamoHelly · 26/04/2016 08:34

I do, but am SAHM. Tbh in year 6 ds would walk with friends as soon as we bumped into them on the way in and then on the way back as far as he was able. But have a younger one at the same school so was always on the same route. Not sure what will happen when she gets to year 6. Will probably be working by then though so will be a different situation.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 26/04/2016 08:35

I do most of the time because we enjoy it. And it's the time when we discuss important issues, like racism, sexism, leadership and Clash of Clans Hmm (or we walk in silence if one of us is sulking). And it's good exercise for me.

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