Was I unreasonable to not give this woman back her child? Is DH now being a nob?

[NewToAllThis12345]

Hiya,

Just looking for some advice.

A year ago, I was at a train station, it was relatively busy.

A small child, who was around 4, was very close to the edge. I could not see his parents around at all. I had to go over to him, he definitely didn't seem too safe.

He said that he wasn't sure where his mum was - mum.

A man then approached us, thanking me and saying it was his child, saying his name. I asked the boy if that was his name; it was. I then asked if he knew the man, he then said "where is my mum?"

I was very confused and unsure what to do. I said to the man that I am going to have to say something to the station, as I want to make sure he is safe.

I went to a security guard. He told me to just hand the child over to 'the dad'. However, this boy never said to me that he was his dad, he just kept going on about his mum.

I said that I think it'll be best if I call the police, they said an officer would be there in half an hour.

The 'Dad' then snatched the child out of my hand and said that they were going to be late for the show. I tried to explain to the guard who said that he was obviously the dad as no one else had claimed to be his parents. I tried to run after them, but the he told me to just let them go and stop bugging them.

The police later arrived and said they would follow it up.

I do not know the outcome, I had to do a statement, but that was all.

Was I unreasonable? It's just, DH now makes jokes with our DC when we are out, saying I'm not allowed to hold their hand because he doesn't know if they're my kids, fucking annoying stuff like that.

Kidnapping is the offence of taking or transporting someone away by use of force and against their will without just cause and with the intent of holding them.

So totally not kidnapping. Or child abduction. Which as the word abduction implies also involves taking away.

duh

In Perth (Aust) last week two children, age 4 and 5 were lured from a childcare centre. They happily followed the man for about 20min where he then sexually assaulted them, and then left them at a nearby park. CCTV images show them following him and not looking very much out of the ordinary.

I maintain you did the right thing. Imagine what could have been avoided last week if someone's "radar" went off and he was questioned. Who cares if you make 100 mistakes and offend people.

I was questioned several times when DD burnt herself. It was all an accident but I was glad to be questioned as it meant precautions are in place to help at risk children

Utterly hysterical responses on this thread. The child wasn't lost, the OP hadn't considered calling the police until the man showed up.

I am always at these people who say that people don't mind being interrogated/investigated if they've done nothing wrong. Bullshit. so imagine the scene. Your child is playing a bit too far from you and you've become distracted. You spot him talking to a stranger and go over to him. He isn't distressed because he wasn't lost. You state that the child is yours and the stranger tells you that they don't believe you, they're going to ring the police, and you should wait until they show up to identify that the child is in fact yours/is with you. Do people honestly think that a parent should be perfectly happy/willing to stick around for an indeterminate amount of time just so that a complete stranger (who the fuck are they anyway?) can call the police and claim that this child might be being abducted?

If the opposite played out on here and a poster posted that "we were on a train platform waiting for the train when I became distracted for an instant, turned around to see DS talking to a woman. The train was almost due so I walked over and said he was with me. The woman refused to believe me and insisted that I should stay while she called the police, even though the train staff told her she should but out and let the child go. I took my child and left."

Yeah, I can totally see the responses to that one being "yabu, you should have waited around for the police to prove that the child was yours. If you have nothing to hide then you wouldn't object. Woman was perfectly in the right to not give you back your child." No, didn't think so.

I'm surprised at all the posters thinking it is ok for a young child to be alone on a platform edge.

So even if child's parent was around, they were not doing a good job already raising issues in my head.

The child was asking for its mother don't forget. How often do you hear of fathers absconding with their kids? Sadly rather a lot.

Nope -OP - you did the right thing

There are people who spend their life sticking their heads in the sand and not making a fuss. Then there are people like you. We need people like you OP

I'd have done the same.

I really don't see how the OP could possibly be seen as "hysterical" and guilty of kidnapping. She did what she thought was right for the situation/child. A blasé stance could equally be criticised. I think, on balance, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Considering the amount of children that do get abducted by strangers, men, women, ex partners, paedophiles, traffickers then surely it's better to err on the side of caution??