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AIBU?

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Original poster

to want to see the will?

266 replies

tremble · 23/04/2016 21:46

NC for this, just in case. We've just found out a distant relative has died, and the funeral was yesterday. My DS and I are pretty angry that we weren't told, as we knew the relative when we were children and would like to have paid our respects.

We found this out today when we got a letter from relative's sister saying that the relative hadn't signed their will, so we and a few cousins and aunts etc will inherit a share of their estate. But the sister says she wants to honour the unsigned will and has asked us to revoke our shares so she can do this. We hadn't expected to inherit anything so we're not fussed about the money which probably won't be much, but we thought we'd ask to see the unsigned will so we can be sure that if we give up our shares then it goes to the right people.

But the sister says we're not allowed see it. She won't even tell us which solicitor is handling the estate and got pretty angry when we asked, saying we had no right. Her behaviour seems a little suspicious but we haven't really any experience with wills. Is it unreasonable to ask to see it? And what would you do?

OP posts:
JessieMcJessie · 06/05/2016 13:32

OK Faded I read it as if you were just saying that the aunt would have accessed the account legally, but would still be bound to pass the money to the rightful heirs. However I think we both agree that if it was a joint account then she is rightfully entitled not only to access but to keep the money.

I suspect that's not the case though as she wouldn't then be bothering to ask the heirs to give up their shares.

Any updates OP?

FadedRed · 06/05/2016 20:18

No Jessie , sadly it does not seem like deceased POA sister is acting legally, let alone morally. Such a shame when someone's dies and the memory will be of the issues arising from this sort of shenanigans.

Original poster
tremble · 07/05/2016 22:56

Hi Jessie. I don't believe it was a joint account from the way it was worded. She said the deceased's account had been closed and the monies paid to her.

Thought I'd just update you all. I finally got a response from the sister to the requests. She emailed me and one other relative, whom I shall call X, and seemed to regard us as the ringleaders. She implied we were stupid and didn't understanding the law, and accused us of bullying her and "rallying the troops" against her. She then went on to make personal comments about us, far more unkind to X than to me, said I hated her because I was jealous of her, suggesting we should be grateful to her for past favours, how we just wanted money and how guilty we should feel over our actions. Oh, and we hadn't sympathised with her loss or offered to help in her hour of need.

So of course after that love-in, I phoned the police. They were very interested, but also said that I required proof that the crime of fraud had actually been committed, so suggested I get a lawyer to contact her requesting a copy of the will. If she can't, or won't, then they will investigate as possible fraud and embezzlement.

I also spoke to a lot of other people, include the ActionFraud helpline who were a waste of time, sadly. After I told the guy the story he said he didn't know about that kind of stuff, most of his enquiries were just dodgy mobile phone companies and eBay stuff that hadn't arrived. He suggested I either phone the police or get a solicitor.

I spoke to the Office of the Public Guardian, but they don't deal with complaints where the person has died, so they suggested I get a solicitor.

I contacted Citizen's Advice Bureau but they said it sounded very complex and I should get a solicitor.

So I contacted the Law Society of Scotland to ask for advice, and the guy I spoke to said I should call the police, or ActionFraud. So I told him what both of these parties had said, and he was a bit shocked at ActionFraud, but he did give me the name of a few solicitors who ought to be able to help. So X and I will be contacting them on Monday.

In the meantime I replied to the sister saying I had nothing to say to her other than pointing out her breaches of the law, giving her one more opportunity to provide a copy of the will, and telling her I am passing everything on to the police.

OP posts:
lalalonglegs · 07/05/2016 23:32

Go, tremble. It is very hard to believe that there is anything like an innocent explanation to all this.

AyeAmarok · 08/05/2016 05:29

I can't believe how difficult it has been for you to get help from all the places that you're supposed to go to for help!

Hopefully you can get a good solicitor who knows what they are doing who can take the pressure off.

MattDillonsPants · 08/05/2016 05:35

Such poor help! Well done OP. If they have any sense they will provide the will BEFORE the legal shit kicks in!

AuldYow · 08/05/2016 06:49

Wow talk about making it hard for yourself, if she was doing everything correctly she'd just provide you with the details of 'the will'.

Sounds dodgier than a dodgem in planet dodgy!

It's about doing the right thing which is what you are, good luck OP

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 08/05/2016 07:25

You have done the right thing. People like her need calling out. I hope you and X can get this sorted via a solicitor without too much stress & fuss.

WhereInTheWorldToNext · 08/05/2016 07:48

There was a long running thread where a regular poster went through something similar re attempt to defraud. I'm not sure how it ended (or even if it has - there were periodic updates over years) but it might help you to search it out and take a look.

OVienna · 08/05/2016 08:12

What a terrible run around! I hope those solicitors can help you quickly and easily. Relative is just not getting it is she?

Not providing help in her hour of need? Well maybe if she'd told you when her sister died in time for you to get to the funeral and not months later you could have done that.

Has she been this awful before or are you taken aback by the behaviour?

oneowlgirl · 08/05/2016 08:22

Shocking Op - hope you get more useful advice tomorrow & can get to the bottom of this.

On principle, I'd take whatever money you were entitled to in the first instance - no matter how small that actually turns out to be! Good luck.

GlitteryFluff · 08/05/2016 08:55

I think you did the right thing in contacting police. Hopefully you'll find a solicitor who's able to help.

notapizzaeater · 08/05/2016 10:46

How she you supposed to know she was in her hour of need ? I think she's not told you to buy herself some time

Puzzledandpissedoff · 08/05/2016 10:47

I'm sorry she's been stupid enough to let it come to this, Tremble, but I think you've done the right thing involving the police

The only thing that worries me about engaging a solicitor is the costs involved, given that you don't know how much the estate is worth - there's a reason why they say lawyers make a fortune from this sort of thing Hmm Hopefully she'll realize she's got to come clean before the bill gets too high, though ...

mrgrouper · 08/05/2016 11:54

I did not even get invited to my own mum's funeral, nor told she was dying. :(

Lunar1 · 08/05/2016 12:18

You have done the right thing contacting the police. If what she has done was all above board then she'd have no problem handing over the will would she.

prettybird · 08/05/2016 12:59

How could you "sympathise with her in her hour of need" if she didn't f@!ing tell* you that your relative was dead?? ConfusedHmm

JessieMcJessie · 08/05/2016 13:41

I'm really surprised that the police told you it was your job to get evidence of fraud. Isn't gathering evidence their job? Was it police local to the deceased that you contacted?

As others said, the danger is that you spend lots of money on a lawyer and it far outweighs the value of the estate.

However there should be a very simple starting point here - get teh solicitor to write an official letter to her asking her to provide proof that she has authority to administer the estate and,if not, how she had the money paid out to her when the account was closed. I don't think they'd have paid out to her without seeing documentation that proved she was either the executor or had been granted authority to administer an intestate estate. If she had a POA and used that then she can't have told them about the death, which is obviously fraud.

Do you know which bank it was? If so, I'd also be tempted to write them a letter saying "I am a beneficiary of the estate of x, who died on [date]. I have reason to believe that Y has obtained funds from X's bank accounts at your bank without due authority and have reported this to the police (give crime ref number if you got one). I fully understand that you are not in a position to disclose any details of this matter to me but you may wish to carry out your own internal checks. "

SlimCheesy · 08/05/2016 13:46

Good on you OP.

Landoni112 · 08/05/2016 14:14

Like Jessie suggested. It doesn't seem right that she gets away with criminal activities because no one can't be bothered to call her on it, so good for you op!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 08/05/2016 14:26

Some excellent ideas there, Jessie ... you seem to be hoping the same as me, that even the idea of police/legal input might be enough to shock her into some kind of disclosure Wink

BonerSibary · 09/05/2016 14:13

Good luck with the solicitors today OP.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 09/05/2016 22:43

mrgrouper sorry to hear that :-(

Campbell2016 · 10/05/2016 08:10

Excellent suggestions from Jessie. Please keep us posted OP.

dowhatnow · 10/05/2016 08:17

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