To not be able to sympathise a financial situation?

[Rudechoob]

Ok, my friend called me up And had a whinge last night saying as she has started work part-time (16hrs pw) as she refuses to be away from her 2kids any longer. She now has to start contributing towards her rent £130 a month towards a 3bed house. She has her wage and tax credits etc etc so she isn't struggling as such. Shes always clothes shopping even able to book a holiday during school holidays!

She wanted sympathy.

I didn't have it, i was pissed off. Me and DP currently work 42-46hrs a week each (he has his own business and takes a minimal salary) and we are struggling, no benefits no hand outs, nothing soon as my wage goes in 90% is on bills, rent etc. Dp does the food shops, pays loan etc...its all even.

I snapped and told her welcome to the real world...its a struggle etc etc and how if she can book a holiday she can't be that hard up...and she flipped calling me jealous etc.

Sorry for fucking being honest!

I'm sorry but to complain about having to pay £130 for rent?!???

But we cant afford jack shit, no holidays, new clothes,

Yes its a struggle and we are getting by but my point is people who are better off for doing less and get help, complain when they have to contribute back to the system!

So fucking what? If you're happy with your life, why does it matter that she's moaning whilst getting help? I'm glad that we have the safety net of benefits in the UK, but there will always be some people that use a safety net as a hammock.

Relying on tax credits or other benefits is a fucking miserable and scary way to survive IMO. You're only one Government admin fuck up away from being unable to eat. And no one is going to be living the life of riley on them.

If you're happy with your life, get on and live it.

Again for record!!! I'm sick of benefit claimers complaining!!! End of!!

And I'm sick to death of people complaining that they work harder/longer hours than some of the people who claim benefits.

But shit happens and you learn to roll your eyes.

If you're unhappy with your situation then change it.

If you're unhappy with your friend's situation, ignore it.

Yes it's the system that's wrong and peoples justification - like the pp saying he doesn't work and his gf does 25 - 30 hours. He's somehow calculated he needs to work 70 hours to cover full time child care.

I do think the system is wrong. I also suspect tax credits have led to lower wages as its a top up.

So the reason you are struggling is because you are training and your dh has started anew business? Both of which should lead to a higher salary/return in the future? So give it a few years and you will be far better off whereas she will still be in this position?

It's tough op but you are taking the short term pain for the long term gain. That's your choice.

Sometimes people just want to get it off their chest and friends are normally a safe place to do that - I think yabu for not letting her do that. Friendship shouldn't be a competition.

I'm sick of benefit claimers complaining!

But why?

Benefits are there for those that need them.

Some will use them through choice - you can't stop that, we all know it happens sometimes.

Why the fuck would that be something to envy? Choosing to live on benefits? Have you ever lived on benefits op? Because I grew up on them and trust me, there's nothing to be jealous over.

Better off?

If that was the case you would qualify for the means tested benefits she's on.

If you don't get them because you dont qualify because your income is to high then you are better off

Oh. I was just about to kind of stick up for you but you're sick of benefit claimers complaining so i'm not going to bother.

Benefit claimers need love too you know

Oh well,

Mixture opinions, some interesting!

Anyway time to get on with my Saturday.

Take care guys xx

Benefit claimers need love too you know

Yes, I've noticed the OP seems to have run out of kisses xxxx

True colours in that last post from the op. This is a benefit bashing thread, nothing more to see here.

Again for record!!! I'm sick of benefit claimers complaining!!! End of!!

I see. Well on you jog then.

I love OPs like you -

AIBU?

A little bit yeah

FUCK OFF NO I'M NOT END OF!!

I get where you are coming from op.

What I don't understand is the holiday part.

Lots of people, myself included, take houses in school holiday tine. What us your point?

If I want to sacrifice things to save up to go away then I will. I must be the only person I know who doesn't have catch up TV or sky or even a recordable DVD player. You know what though, when I fly abroard do not moan about it when you could are the Sam if you chose to forsake your expensive devises.

I'm not criticising anyone here but each to their own.

Worra - but not exclamation marks. She's got loads of those. Can't move for those.

*Would you only articulate that view from behind a computer screen or would you say it face to face?

Do you find it so impossible to believe that people have genuinely differing views to yours that you have to post things like this

Teeny bit arrogant no?

Do you agree that when people have enough money to contribute to their circumstances that they should pay?

Absolutely. And the 'friend' is, isn't she?

So what is your point*

I think you have made the point yourself Mrs

You agree with the OP that her friend should be contributing but you will only say this from behind a keyboard not face to face.

If someone chooses to work only 16 hours a week instead of full-time, then they must surely accept that they will earn proportionately less as a consequence of that choice?

I am all in favour of people being able to make their own choices. But I don't see why I should be expected to pay towards topping up the income of people who choose to work 16 hours and then wonder why they can't afford things!

We get that not all business's make any profit at first

But having the option to take that gamble is a good position to be in

When you can't take that gamble to make life better in the long run is not such a great position to be in

I couldn't and would love to I have a great business plan all in place, loan approves bit I have no one to back me up who will pay the bills, rent while my business is building so my life is unlikely to financially get better unless I come into some money from the lottery or I meet someone and we become a partnership and the costs and responsibilities are shared

Believe me it's depressing at times

And now she's flounced

I also gave a very old small car which I paid cash for.

Therefore if I want to fly abroad with the savings I bake u will. Oh and I'm a working single parent who receives f all in maintenance and still my ex finds time to critise me for being able to rake the dcs abroard.

So, no YANBU at all, OP.

Typos!

See that's how the other half live pictish

Enough exclamation marks to see her into early retirement.

So the friend is basically saying "It's unfair that I have to pay more towards my housing now I am earning some/more money" and the OP is expected to be sympathetic to that attitude?