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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky requests that make you want to scream

431 replies

MeMySonAndl · 22/04/2016 20:35

What is wrong with people?

This morning, a friend I have not seen in almost 2 years called me. I didn't see the call until lunch time, rang her back and send her a text but didn't reply.

She has just texted back saying that she needed me to give her a lift to the mechanic (WTF?)

Had another one this week, when I had to tell "no" to another mum 14 times as I couldn't have her kid around and take them to an activity because I was working.

She took offence that I couldn't understand that she couldn't take him herself because she was working. Why on earth does she think that I should take time off and earn less money to entertain her kid???

Hmm
OP posts:
CigarsofthePharoahs · 23/04/2016 06:43

This happened to a friend of mine.
Our church was getting some overseas visitors for a weekend and accommodation was needed. We don't have any room so I said no, but my friend offered to take 1 person as that was all they had room for. On checking with the person organising the visit, she was told that all she needed to do was provide bed and breakfast. Lifts and other meals would be sorted out and it would be Friday night to Sunday evening.
With less than a week to go she found out via someone else that she was expected to host 2 people. She spoke to the organiser and told them that she simply hadn't room for 2 and was told that there was nowhere else for the other person to go so she had to take him.
A day later she was told the itinerary. She would have to pick them up from the airport on Thursday at 5am. They would need breakfast, a packed lunch and a lift to the church hall. She would have to pick them up at 10pm from the church.
The itinerary for the Friday, Saturday and Sunday were similar including providing more meals, lifts (some long distance) and equipment. She would then need to drop them back at the airport on Tuesday for a late evening flight. None of this had been mentioned before and no money was offered to help with petrol and food costs.
The organiser was very surprised when she changed her mind and said she wasn't going to host anyone! His response was "Well you don't work, you should have plenty of spare time!"
Another friend told me that she'd hosted the same people two years before. They'd slept in her living room and had left it full of rubbish with stains on the furniture and carpet. They'd also expected lifts at unsocial times and hadn't contributed to the cost, just been rude and demanding the whole time.
They'll want to come back next year as it seems to be a yearly thing now. I predict it's going to get harder and harder to find people to put them up.

sofato5miles · 23/04/2016 06:55

My friend and neighbour goes back to her home country every year, two weeks before the end of term taking her preschool child. She expects me to drop off her son. Last year I forgot one morning ( her DH was home) and he went mental at me. There was massive fallout.

This year she has booked the same and I am dreading the school run request as I will say no and that will be the end of our friendship.

sofato5miles · 23/04/2016 06:55

Oh and I work full time.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 23/04/2016 07:05

Cheeky buggers. Why can't the DH take them Sofa? Smile

Dollymixtureyumyum · 23/04/2016 07:09

OMG saffy please tell me she paid you for ruining the dress and your BIL dumped her soon afterwards.

Arkwright · 23/04/2016 07:15

A woman at school who I knew by sight from church. I had passed the time of day with her a few times. She had a new full time job. She wanted to drop her 4 children round at 6.30a.m. on one day a week and pick them up at 5.30p.m. I am a SAHM for my families benefit not to make someone elses life easier. She had asked various other mums to take a day each. There was no money offered. Some of the mums did agree but I told her no way.

I had previously been stung by another freeloader. My Dd started reception and I made friends with one of the mums. She had 2 children by the same dad. They did not live together. She then went on to have child 3 and 4 with the same man even though she was 'single'. She expected me to pick up her 2 oldest and drop them off every day as she had 2 babies. Like a mug I did this for 2 years. Thankfully they moved to a new area at the end of year 2. Never a penny was offered for my petrol driving an extra 4 miles per day. I know of someone at her new school and she is just the same there.

I hate asking for favours but some people would ask for anything.

amarmai · 23/04/2016 07:18

why the single mum? because we are easier to victimise. We see the same pattern with other forms of victimisation e.g. bullies choose a vulnerable kid,; women who are drunk or isolated or drugged -- can be assaulted more easily; thieves attack the old or women laden with bags etc

Snowwhiteandrosered · 23/04/2016 07:26

My ndn and her partner knocked on my door one evening, I'd never met them before and they asked if they could leave her grandmother's treasured possessions in exchange for £20 as they had run out of gas and electric and had used up the emergency credit on their pre-pay meter and had no money until pay day. They said they'd been to every flat on our estate and someone had given them £5 but it wasn't' enough Hmm. I told them politely that I had no money in the flat and they offered to walk with me to the cashpoint. I told them that I don't lend any money and they huffily went off.

SnobblyBobbly · 23/04/2016 07:27

Some of these are just astounding! How can these people have such skewed ideas on what's acceptable and what's not?

Reading through them has reminded me of a friend who started a new job last year and was really happy about it but 'had no idea' what she'd do in the summer holidays.....

So what did she do? Sent repeated messages every weekend asking who could do what for her childcare wise that week on a group chat we had going. Some people on the group she hardly knew!

At first a few of us offered to do what we could but she wanted it 100% on her terms, having the kids the full 8-5 or nothing. At one point she was suggesting that one friend drop the kids to another as they could each do part of one day! It got so bad that in the end people were just completely ignoring the messages.

The things is she's a married woman with other relatives close by and failing that, there are a multitude of childcare options in our area which I use for my own kids while I work.

Yes I know the holiday childcare costs money, but it's kind of part of the deal. Why on gods green earth would anyone want two extra kids from the crack of dawn every day of the 6 weeks holidays for free?

I met her last week and she was casually enquiring about what I was going to do leave wise in the holidays.

Mmmmm nice try. I'm not telling you shit about my plans lady Grin

ipswichwitch · 23/04/2016 07:37

Will probably out me but what the hell...
My DBro once asked to borrow my car to drive all the way across Eurpoe to a very Eastern European country (we live in North of England so a canny hike). When I pointed out that not only did I need my car to get to work, he had his own perfectly working, newer car sat on his drive. He actually looked indignant and said "but I can't possibly drive MY car that far, what if it doesn't make it?!" Because my ancient 1.2l motor is so much more likely to get there Hmm
I was never going to allow it, but when I asked what he planned to do about insuring it, or what to do in the event it broke down in Central Europe (because there's no way I could afford to just write it off and buy a new car), he just said his 3rd party policy would cover it (um, no), and I'd have to sort it getting towed back from the continent if the need arose! He was actually really put out when I said no, and didn't speak to me for 3 months.

Wincarnis · 23/04/2016 07:43

My ndn looked over the fence as i was cutting the grass and said
'Oh good you've got a nice mower, then i don't have to buy one'
Same ndn had a party ( wasn't invited) and then phoned at midnight to see if i had any spare alcohol as they had run out.

BrandNewAndImproved · 23/04/2016 08:03

I live in a flat and had a new neighbour move in above me.

She's the worst begger ever. She's asked me if she can have my WiFi code, asks me regularly if I have any alcohol she can 'buy' as the corner shops closed, can she borrow my phone charger, my phone, fags (I don't even smoke) ect and all of these requests are late at night. I don't answer my door anymore. How many times can you tell someone no before they get the bloody picture.

StealthPolarBear · 23/04/2016 08:05

Getting on this thread. I'm a bit put out that I have no cheeky friends!!

Thisisnotausername · 23/04/2016 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Foslady · 23/04/2016 08:49

Asked if I wanted to go to a certain shop an hours drive away for a trip out as friend wanted to get some flat pack Furnature. As I was on my own that day said yes (plus I'd drive the previous time). Day before the trip I was asked what time Is was picking her up........(when she realised I was hacked off about it I was offered petrol money, unlike the previous time which I didn't mind as I took it friend would drive the next time. Her and dh on good wages, me a single mum on crap wage.....)

Ememem84 · 23/04/2016 08:54

When mil used to live here she regularly expected me (not Dh) to drop everything to pick her up or offer lifts.

She stayed with us for 3 weeks before emigrating home. During those 3 weeks she couldn't grasp the concept that no, I wouldn't be leaving work early to come home pick you up to take you to your mates. The bus stop is right opposite our flat. And it's a 20 minute walk into town. And she'd recently trekked the pyranese and climbed Kili. So not incapable of a short walk.

dotdotdotmustdash · 23/04/2016 09:01

My neighbour/ex-friend very kindly hosted my two goldfish in her kitchen while we took a one week holiday to France. I brought her back a bottle of wine and some sweets for her children to say thank you.

In return I visited her home twice daily for 16 days, fed cats and rodents, fed fish indoor and outdoor, changed litter trays and rodent cages and provided milk and bread for her return. When she came to collect her keys the first words out of her mouth were that she didn't bring us back anything because if she gave my kids sweets she would have to give all the local children sweets too.

I couldn't give a damn about sweets or wine but it was so ungrateful!

SabineUndine · 23/04/2016 09:06

Oo just remembered a beaut from years back. A friend from school, M, whom I hadn't seen for a year or two, contacted me to say she was taking the kids (1 and 4) to visit her husband, a doctor who was working as a locum a couple of hours' drive away. I had nothing on that weekend so I take the train to where she is living with relatives, on the other side of London to meet her.

We all pile into the car and she has binbags full of dirty washing because there's washing machine at her relatives' has broken down and there's one in her husband's flat. On the two hour drive over she tells me that she invited me because last time she did this trip, the car broke down but it was ok because she had another adult relative with her. She didn't want to do this journey without another adult just in case and I was the only person she could think of.

We get to the flat. Her DH isn't there, he's working shifts. She puts the washing machine on. I am in the sitting room with the kids. She continues with the rest of the washing all day and all the next day. We do not leave the flat. I supervise the kids. I don't utter one word of complaint. All I want is to get home. The evening of the next day, on the way back, she drops me at her local station saying 'I hope you haven't been TOO bored!' Never saw her again.

Organon8 · 23/04/2016 09:22

This does not reflect very well on women does it?

Dumping their kids at any opportunity, trying to get 'free' childcare, taking advantage of others kinds natures

Are men the same? Probably but not to this extent

StealthPolarBear · 23/04/2016 09:27

Men don't tend to take responsibility for childcare which is why you get comments about "her cheek" on here (although often they do just reflect the friendship lines). That is a separate rant.
saving, how odd! Did you not think it was strange she was inviting you to join her family?

StealthPolarBear · 23/04/2016 09:31

Sabine not saving sorry

SabineUndine · 23/04/2016 09:31

She presented it as 'husband will be working shifts so it will be nice if you come so I'll have company.' I'd forgotten she had always been selfish.

StealthPolarBear · 23/04/2016 09:35

Oh fair enough. Did you at least get food and a glass of wine on that first night?

WorkInProgess · 23/04/2016 09:41

I once was invited four of DS's friends over for lunch and a play after a school fair. Three replied yes, one said "can he come at 5pm instead as we've been invited out for drinks". I ignored the text and he came after the fair with the rest of them. It wasn't the first time they'd done something like that and I've now stopped inviting their son over.

MushroomMama · 23/04/2016 09:45

My sil was a regular piss taker with the child care

She'd come round on the pretence of visiting my dcs on the way to see fil in the care home but then she'd say oh her dd doesn't want to see fil (niece would refute this quite loudly) and just leave her with me always at dinner time.

The one time I asked her to look after ds because I was in labour and shed promised months ago to do and regularly reiterated that promise to me she kicked off at dh saying she couldn't be bothered todo it. Luckily for us ds dad managed to skip uni and collect ds at the last minute

We no longer talk after she threatened to kill me Hmm