Cheeky requests that make you want to scream

[MeMySonAndl]

What is wrong with people?

This morning, a friend I have not seen in almost 2 years called me. I didn't see the call until lunch time, rang her back and send her a text but didn't reply.

She has just texted back saying that she needed me to give her a lift to the mechanic (WTF?)

Had another one this week, when I had to tell "no" to another mum 14 times as I couldn't have her kid around and take them to an activity because I was working.

She took offence that I couldn't understand that she couldn't take him herself because she was working. Why on earth does she think that I should take time off and earn less money to entertain her kid???

Organon, men are far worse. Have you ever been visited by a man and his kids? If so, you would have noticed that the moment they get a drink on their hand, their children belong to you until they leave a few hours later.

All the time dad is having good fun he doesn't even notice if the kids are hungry, getting into trouble or thrashing the house.

sometimes I feel I've lived a shelter life reading through a thread like this, the mind boggles it really does

Are there so many fathers not taking responsibility for the childcare?

Why are women having children with these losers?

Have you ever been visited by a man and his kids? If so, you would have noticed that the moment they get a drink on their hand, their children belong to you until they leave a few hours later

Actually not my experience

The men who have visited take care of their own DC. Why would I do it? I don't mind playing with the kids but the nappy changes and feeding should be done by the father

Just remember another one from same freloader in the OP. She always send her child without money to pay for the activity. I needed to remind her everytime. At some point I said that I needed to get my financial records tidy for the purposes of maintenance. She just said, "oh just put DS' fees in your credit card and I will pay you later". I had to explain profusely and say no three times before she said she would pay herself on pick up. So then it was my turn to explain the staff at the gym, every single week why they had to let him do the activity without paying. I really never understood why she couldn't give a teen the fiver the activity costs in the morning, but it is now clear to me that she just expected me to foot the bill.

To add insult to injury, her son is so jealous and clingy that DS didn't enjoy to have him around.

This has been such an enlightening exercise. I think I have been so fed up with this freeloader, that when the other woman, who never answers my calls or reply to my messages asked for a lift to the mechanic I just texted back: your mechanic can give you a lift, if he can't you can take a taxi.

I still have no outage to open the text she sent back, but this thread has made me realise that although I liked her and have known her for almost 20 years, she only contacts me when she needs me to do something for her.

Back in the day, before I grew a backbone, I agreed to help a friend (more of an acquaintance) edit a screenplay. She was moving house while this was going on. One day, I arrived at her apartment to be greeted by a pile of boxes.

"Hope you don't mind," she chirped. "But I thought we could discuss the screenplay while you help me move into my new place."

To my eternal shame, I did not protest. Thankfully I am now far more assertive (to the point of being disagreeable/unapproachable, in fact...)

Another editing-related one, from more recently. I do some voluntary work for a local history organisation, editing their annual journal, since editing is my profession. One guy submitted a paper, which I duly edited, and sent back to him for him to approve. He replied, attaching the manuscript of a lengthy (and terrible) book he had written, in dreadful English, asking if I would 'do him a favour' and edit it. I asked him what sort of budget he had in mind for the editing of his epic. No budget, unsurprisingly. Presumably, since I lend my skills to the voluntary organisation, he presumed I always worked for free...

Usually these days, if anyone asks what I do, I don't tell them I write/edit. The number of manuscripts that have been foisted upon me... I could wallpaper my house with them, I tell you.

Organon, do they? Really? I think there are very few that actually can get of the traditional tunnel vision to see what their children are up to while they talk.

I had yo have a major hissy for to stop this type of cheekiness.
I'm a nursery nurse and childminder which to some people means that I adore being surrounded by children and can look after theirs at the drop of a hat.
At an IL's family do years ago I popped outside to the beer garden for a quick smoke and realised I had been followed out by half a dozen small children who had been sent to play and 'Auntie Cold will look after you'. Fine for a while, it was a nice day but when I needed the loo and stuck my head round the door to get someone else to watch the small ones I found them all tucking in to the buffet without me or the children. I bring them back in to eat and got shouted at because the adults hadn't eaten yet..
I got the hump, told them to mind their own kids and went to get something to eat. DP (as he was then) had got me a plate of food and ended up having a go at them himself when he found out I hadn't actually offered to look after the kids for the day at all..
We left and went to the pub to get away from his batshit relatives for a while and he got several phone calls asking when I was coming back because the children wanted to play outside again!
The whole lot are cheeky fuckers anyway but the resulting argument meant that they no longer pull stunts like that on me

I have a few....

Many years ago I worked in a shop,my friend also worked there on different shifts.
I had no kids but would quite often looked after my friends kids while she was at work just to help out.
I had a break up with my boyfriend who I had been living with,I had to pack all my stuff find somewhere else to live etc etc....so I booked a few days off work .
My friend decided to put her name down for my shifts and then asked me to look after her kids while she did them.....she knew the reason I had booked the shifts off but still kicked off when I said no.

Got friendly with a school mum.She got a new job. She asked could I have her child for the 5 working days of half term and she would drop him off at 7.30am and pick him up at 4.30pm.So I got up at 7am everyday,make sure my kid is dressed and ready for his friend arriving. On the Friday the kid doesn't turn up till 11am.I asked what happened and the child says my mum got the day off so wanted a lie in and shes gone out with friends for the day.

My husband is a self employed tradesman. We see the neighbours around where we live constantly getting work done on thier homes,never ask my husband for a price to do the jobs but of course that is up to them ......but when they have an emercency and need a favour its our door the locals knock on even at Xmas when my husband is having a few days off. The answer for the last couple of years ,sorry but emercency work is for regular costomers only.

I have the opposite problem Canary. My sister has been known to borrow my kid and disappear with him for the whole day. She twice had left him to play with her friends' children for hours while going out shopping, while I am trying frantically to locate her to get him back to me before meal times.

Fortunately, we only see her once in a blue moon, but she cannot get why I get so bloody anxious and angry at her disappearing with my son and leaving him with strangers that are not aware of his very severe food allergies.

She is a twat all the way.

Near to where I live a very large public event occurs every year. Every year without fail completely random strangers knock my door and ask to use the toilet. I know that this event supplies toilets. Is it too much to ask that they use the toilets on site

I was treating a friend to a lovely spa weekend as a birthday gift. My gift to her, but a double celebration as our birthdays are close together. It was one of those mega-expensive zen places on the coast and a real treat - I had booked each of us various treatments. She turned up with her 10 year old - without warning me - because her nanny had quit that week.

This kid had been kicked out of 5 (5!!) schools for beating up other kids, hitting a teacher more than once, lying and was a badly behaved little shit so-and-so. He used to complain that he didn't want to look at my "flab" when I put in my swimming costume at the beach or water park, even where it was me treating him to a nice day out to give his mum a break.

I pathetically tried to tell her that kids weren't allowed at the spa but she had already called ahead and they had agreed to "make an exception". Spent the weekend deflecting complaints from other guests about his noise and behaviour - which was utterly atrocious - he got in the jacuzzi and was asked to leave, but said he just wanted to "finish his pee" and then he would get out I was constantly mistaken for his mother because I look older and more haggard than my friend. He shrieked and complained he was bored and tantrumed the entire weekend. I took him to the beach to try to cure boredom and he ended up impaling sea urchins on a sharp stick. He laughed at me when I bollocked him. His mother - my friend - was totally ineffectual at discipline.

I actually cried buckets in the car on the way home - not sure whether it was relief or disappointment!

So glad i have no friends

Right. Extra badass lessons are in order for everybody on the thread. (Including me, I have fuck-all backbone)

A male friend of ours popped over last summer with his nearly three year old and one year old. (I had two the same age - not an easy combination) anyway - we were out in the garden playing, and I said to my DH 'where's Pete?'
He'd gone into our conservatory with a beer, put a blanket on himself and gone to sleep on a sofa bed.
I had great pleasure in waking him to ask him where the hats and sun cream were for his two red headed daughters. Not my responsibility (although I would never have let them burn. I was fuming!!!!!)
Just because I am a mother, doesn't mean I want to watch other people's kids when they come to our house: this is basically why I hate inviting people over.

YoungGirl that child sounds horrid. I hope you dumped both of them.

I had a freeloading 'friend' for 4 years until I got rid

She was a single parent to a little girl a few yrs older than mine and I met her at a toddler group. We had nothing in common but she was very persistent in pushing the 'friendship'. It took me a long while to realise that I was basically a one woman charity to her. She felt it was her entitlement for me to pay for everything as I work and am married whilst she was on benefits and on her own.

If invited round for coffee at 11am I'd be shoving her out the door at 11pm having provided lunch, dinner, snacks and drinks all day. If not invited she'd come anyway. She watched my house to see when I was in.

Asked for lifts constantly and definitely no offer of petrol or parking money. When I told her it was not convenient she said I should give her a key and put her on the insurance so she could go on her own as it would be 'more convenient for me'

Never any credit on her phone so she'd just ring and hang up expecting me to ring her back. If I didn't she'd just carry on and on or send rude texts. Always wanting to use my wifi, phone, computer, printer. Once she asked to use my landline for an important call to sort out benefits. I gave her some privacy to do this and when I checked on her an hour later she was chatting away to a mate on my bill.

Expected DH to do her gardening and DIY.

Demands to use my shower and even dry her washing on my radiators because it would save her paying for heating or hot water.

Constant demands to lend money always with a huge guilt trip: she'd no money for food or heating and her DD would suffer. 'You have no idea what it's like trying to survive on benefits.' I had sympathy for a while although couldn't help noticing cigarettes and take always could always be afforded. Then when her DD got to school age she declared she could never get a job as she could never leave her poor DD in childcare in the holidays or after school. She said this to my face despite knowing I did that to my 'poor DC'

She had no family or friends which at first I felt sorry for her over. Then I realised it was because she was so horrible to them. During this period of time I had recurrent miscarriages for which she offered me no sympathy or support. Once I lied to her that I was out because I was having a miscarriage and wanted to deal with it on my own. She went ballistic over this lie even though I explained the reason

Finally her DC was removed from her care by social services which shocked me as I had no idea she was abusive. I really never saw any of it. The little girl was always well fed and clothed, toys etc. She convinced me it was a miscarriage of justice and had me fighting her corner until she allowed me to see the court papers and the scales fell from my eyes.

I finally cut her off after she was abusive to me for refusing to lie for her in a character statement. She bombarded me with abusive texts, emails and silent calls in the middle of the night (which she knew I couldn't ignore as my mum was seriously ill so every time it happened I thought my mum may have died). I had to change all my numbers and report the harassment to the police to get it stopped. They told me I wasn't the first person she'd done it to.

Never, ever, ever again.

Mama, I can't believe you put up with that for so long!

Cao you've reminded me of a recent episode I had.

I'm in touch on FB with a friend from my late teens/early 20's - now 40 and haven't seen him in person for years.

Last year he asked someone to help him with designing a bespoke card for someone. I volunteered quite happily and spent several hours on it. No payment mentioned which was fine, just wanted to put it in my portfolio as I'm trying to build up some freelance design work.

Beginning of the year he asked my advice on a flyer he'd designed for an event he was organising. Frankly it was pretty dire, but I was tactful and offered to do a couple of revised drafts. No payment again, but offer of free ticket to said event - fine.

After spending 2 evenings working on 3 alternative versions (alongside my day job, another freelance project and family commitments) I sent them over.

3 days later his original design goes up on FB. Last week I received an invitation to the event page - it would appear he has had it redesigned again by someone else.

I'm not remotely bothered if he wasn't keen on my designs or about free tickets to the event but a brief reply saying 'thanks for your efforts, but I'm going with something else' would have been nice .

I think it was my middle class, bleeding heart liberal guilt complex

My friend's dc are at an independent school and her dd was invited to a Saturday pm play date (they're at school together in the morning). Plan was for df to collect her dd and dd's friend (as she is a teacher at the school so there anyway) and take them to dd's friend's house. They were year 1 so df was expecting to stay however when she arrived only the dad was there. He looked at her and asked how long the play dates usually lasted. He then disappeared off before returning in running clothes and said "there's the tea and coffee. I'm off on a run. Hope the girls behave. " and off he went. Df was stunned - she was basically a free nanny!

Organon, do they? Really? I think there are very few that actually can get of the traditional tunnel vision to see what their children are up to while they talk

If women choose a stupid man who won't take responsibility, I cannot fathom why they go on to have further children with him

I wouldn't put up with this sort of shit

Responsibility for childcare falls on both parents. My DH wouldn't try and palm it all on me and I wouldn't let him

It is enabling these losers if the women take all the responsibility on themselves

This should be in Classics!

Organon you're assuming that the women in question realise their OH is going to abdicate responsibility. You can't tell with blokes. My father was hard-working serious etc yet it was almost unheard of for him to spend time with us as kids. I found it weird to be out with friends and their dads because I wasn't used to an involved father.

StealthPolarBear I did get food, but I don't remember any wine. I was basically an unpaid childminder. I think she would have liked me to help with all the washing, but I was buggered if I would!