Cheeky requests that make you want to scream

[MeMySonAndl]

What is wrong with people?

This morning, a friend I have not seen in almost 2 years called me. I didn't see the call until lunch time, rang her back and send her a text but didn't reply.

She has just texted back saying that she needed me to give her a lift to the mechanic (WTF?)

Had another one this week, when I had to tell "no" to another mum 14 times as I couldn't have her kid around and take them to an activity because I was working.

She took offence that I couldn't understand that she couldn't take him herself because she was working. Why on earth does she think that I should take time off and earn less money to entertain her kid???

What?! They decided on you being the photographer but declined to even ask you! That's crazy!

I had a 'friend' who was always broke. She has no electricity and called me asking if I could lend her a tenner. I said yes and drove to hers to give it to her. She asked me if I could take her up the road quickly. Which I did. Stopped off at some guys house where she bought a ten pound bag of weed. I was so shocked that I didn't say anything (foolishly ) and went home. The friendship was over from then.

Yes EverySongbird! I do live on the main road just up from Sainsbury's, and my tv was on and visible from the pavement.

Could have been worse. My door had been on the latch a couple of hours earlier, as my GP was calling round to view wound infection. I might have called out "Come in!" Note to self: Always check who is at your front door first.

Bloody hell!!!

I was an unemployed single parent of A 7 yo. The elderly grandmother of my longest friend of 10 plus years fell ill while she was over from England. She had to go home to her high powered job, none of the actual relatives of the grandparents (their sons and daughters) wanted to/were able to go and stay with them. Social services had decided the grandmother was well enough to go home as her elderly husband was there. In not a confident driver, where they live is a nightmare to get parked but friend wanted me to drop my dc off at school, drive over across town, look after these two who is only met briefly for a few hours before, drive back and pick up my own child. Now these grandparents weren't ill enough that she thought it worthwhile to take the time off work, after all I 'had nothing better to do all day/I'm not doing anything anyway'!!!!

Meanwhile I'm supposed to be 'actively seeking employment'

I explained all of the above and grovelled about how sorry I was etc

She never spoke to me since, except to call me a disgrace and that this is why I have no friends (true I'm a loner)

I was devastated and cried over it for weeks wondering if she was right and that I am selfish. Meanwhile she's posting cruel posts on Facebook along the lines of 'times like this you know who your real friends are'

This was 3/4 years ago and I'm still not over it

Not to mention that the grandfather could be entirely inappropriate and that I didn't really want to be alone with him-but I couldn't really tell her that!!

Block the cold hearted cunt , BitchAd. If she told anyone you were selfish for not driving HER relatives home, I'm sure they were probably thinking what a selfish dick SHE is. I bet if you think about it, you did a lot for her and she was the one 'in charge' of the relationship. The fact that she puts these posts up says more about her than you. I can guarantee the posts are no longer about you, but about ALL the other friends that have not danced to her tune. She goes through life expecting everyone else to do as she asks demands and it's THEIR fault, in her tiny mind.

Probably poverty she wanted me to go and sit with them everyday For the foreseeable while the grandmother was still ill while my dc was at school annndddd on the weekends leave dc with her own grandparents so I could go and sit with her ill
grandparents, providing company,help with cooking and cleaning

I don't have Facebook anymore-can you guess why lol?!

Some of these stories are

I have/had a friend, for well over 15 years,
When younger I was the only one with a car, so would drive us around, never bothered me and never asked for petrol money, even after a 2 hour drive!!! I would always go to hers, she never made any attempt to visit me!!
Fast forward to her having finally got her license and car, I would still continue to drive to hers, which is almost a hours drive,
but would always be ok with that because she had two kids, and I had a little baby,
I would go do her hair, and admittedly find it hard to take money from friend, but I expect them to over the cost of the colours,
She had paid a few times, but it was not near enough to the amount I had spend on products??
So we came to an arrangement of her paying for my share of the bill when we went out for dinner, which suited me fine,
In total she's only ever paid once
Even when we had a cheap takeaway she didn't pay, and I was too gob-smacked to say anything it was £10 for fucks sake
Since then, I cooled down towards her, but she still asked for her hair to be cut and coloured, we had a date booked but then something happened to the car so I couldn't make it to hers,
and stupidly in the group chat I talked about a courtesy car, so privately she started off two separate texts with "what's happening with the courtesy car" before asking after my Dc so I became very vague with her,
i wish I had said at the time, she was more than welcome to come to mine, as both her kids are in full time school now,
And I since found out that she now goes to someone closer to her, and pays full price!!!
Still am pissed off with myself for allowing someone to treat me like that

I imagine she one of those Facebook 'friends' that people only keep on because they can laugh at her drama.

I've had it 'from the other side'.

When dc1&2 where in Y4 and Y5, they started walking to and from school without me. They walked together until dc1 went to 2ry.

In the second year of them walking together, I realised that I was no longer included in many group activities. OK, I assumed, it's because I'm no longer in the playground twice a day with the other parents.

It was only two years after that, when dc2 had also gone to 2ry, that I discovered the truth.

Apparently I had been incredibly rude and ungrateful to the mum who had been seeing my children home from school all year, because I had not acknowledged, thanked, or given her any gift!

She had been deeply offended at the end of the first year, but when she saw that my children were still unaccompanied the following September, she felt it her duty to look after them, despite my ingratitude and despite feeling that she was being taken advantage of.

Err, hello? How about talking to me about it? No, let's just grumble in the playground behind Life's back.

I knew that my dc sometimes walked with her (or rather, as they put it, with her dc), but that sometimes they walked without anyone else, and sometimes with other friends.

I neither asked not expected that anyone would take responsibility for them. I knew that some of the parents felt my school were too young to walk alone, but it was my and dh's considered parenting decision, which we take responsibility for.

Surprised it never appeared on MN, really!

saffy of all the stories of nasty user-ness your take of wanton destruction takes biscuit. Please come back and tell us what was said I would have actually killed her

OMFG. A Tom Ford. I would have cried. Then killed her.

That's awful Bitchadmin .... we all know of the cheeky childcare requests because people assume you've loads of time on your hands but never heard of cheeky elderly care requests. Could be something we'll hear a lot more of but still....you should not feel bad at all!!!

First, I've found the perfect way to deal with people who don't take no for an answer. After the second time of saying no, if they ask again I simply reply "I've already told you no more than once, continually asking isn't going to change my mind, its only going to annoy me and piss me off!".

I know some people don't respect boundaries - even when you've voiced with a clarity that even a 3 year old could understand, but you're really better off without those people in your life - they'll literally suck the life/energy out of you.

Now for some stories of my own in the next post....

We were clearly my grans house two weeks after she passed away when there was a knock at the door. A couple claiming to have been allocated the house by the local HA and were wondering if we were intended on leaving anything and what those items might be. Should perhaps explain that while it was an ex-HA house, it was bought. So why the local HA would allocate it was beyond any of us. Still can't understand why anyone would even contemplate doing that - let alone to a family still grieving.

Then there was my ex - he was the subject of my first thread here actually. Used to do all kinds of inconsiderate things - for example he had a habit of helping himself to things, I thought it was because I had been unclear about boundaries so asked him not to touch any of my christmas presents - went to work, came back 9 hours later and they were all gone. And just prior to that, he went absolutely crazy at me because he'd made plans to take his DDs to his aunt & uncles using my car - only he hadn't even mentioned anything to me about it let alone asked to borrow the car - something I wasn't able to do anyway because I had agreed to work overtime. Apparently I was selfish and inconsiderate - the irony isn't lost on me now but it was at the time. This was the same car he'd tried to make me get rid of so I would pay the thousands required to get his car roadworthy because apparently my car (despite being newer, less mileage etc) was a piece of crap and his car was so fantastic. Some of the MNers really helped me see him for what he was (abusive gaslighter) - and so for that, I thank them. I still feel sorry for his girls though, especially the eldest (9 now I think) - he used to say she was just like her a mum, a complete bitch (to the DD!).

Then there was the time we were all out to prize bingo (I know, exciting stuff) - a big group of friends + their parents, grandparents etc. I went to get a round of drinks, asked everyone what they wanted and then went and got them. Came back, friends mum asked me to get her crisps so I went back up - and apparently while back at the bar, one girl started bitching that I'd given her cola and she didn't want cola. I found out about this later, pulled her up about it and told her if she'd asked for something alcoholic I would have gotten her it (despite being just shy of 18 at the time) but she'd asked for cola so that was exactly what she got and if she was that ungrateful for it, she could give me the money for it right now. She stopped bitching after that.

I will go out of my way for most people. But take the piss or be a d* about it and you'll find out that just because I do help where I can, doesn't in any way mean I'm a pushover.

Wait, truffles your ex stole your Xmas presents? Did you get them back?

Unfortunately not - most of them were usable/edible. Never received so much as a card on valentines, bday or christmas. And of course the expectation that he'd blow his money on luxury items like xbox one and then at short notice land it on me he didn't have the money for his bills. I was earning £150 a week at the time because I was only able to do part time (not by choice - much better off now thankfully - in more ways than one!). I was hoping they were the exception rather than the rule - I was wrong.

Funny how a little distance can give you a lot of perspective.

^ and I also had a house of my own with bills of my own (forgot that part!)

I think people like this 'value' some people more that others. I used to have a friend who asked me for loads of favours, but I'm sure that she never treated her family or best friends how she treated me. (I suppose she thought I was a pushover).
She used to ask me for lifts all the time and got snappy when I asked her petrol money.
I MADE her give me petrol money (which she did, reluctantly) then she had a go at me one day because I was using her by asking her to pay me petrol money! Wtf! Like I should be just happy to spend an hour in her presence driving her around!
Another time we were supposed to be going out for dinner. She asked me if I would pick up her brother from college in a city 30 a minute drive away. And I did! 😧 I have no idea why I did. There was lots of traffic and by the time we were on our way back she said there was not enough time left and we couldn't go for dinner anymore. I lost it and said we are going for dinner, if we are not going get out now and you can walk home. She shut up and we went for dinner.
Another time we were meant to be going somewhere. Clearly because she wanted a lift to work (20 minutes drive) I know she was using me but I put up with it because she was a fun friend and made me laugh. Anyway, I waited outside her house for half an hour!! (No idea why I waited) and when she got in the car she was in a massive mood and said there's not enough time to go anymore. Can you drop me off at work 😮 and I did 😮😮 but I made it clear I was not happy about it.
There's many many more worse examples but they will out me so I'll stop here.
I got fed up of it eventually and she got boring and we are no longer friends. She confused as to why I no longer want to be her friend, because she doesn't see what she has done wrong.

I've seen a lot of people say about petrol money. Does anyone ever also consider the wear & tear or depreciation of the cars value?

My dad always used to point this out to me when people asked me for lifts if I said "but they offered me petrol money". Wouldn't bother me normally but from some of the stories on here...it would amount to a pretty penny for them!

I have a relative from my DM side who is lovely to be around and good company but always needs favours.

My DM went on holiday a few years ago and have a pre pay gas and electric and at the last minute she needed to stay at my mums whilst work was being done on her house. My mum reluctantly agreed and said there was nothing in the fridge ect because she was going away so she'd have to take care of it which she agreed too. When my DM got back shed left a note on the side saying she decided to sleep in my mums bed instead of spare room because it was more comfortable so she needed to strip the bed, told my mum she had to put more money on the gas/electric so owed her £25 for that and she had to buy some stuff for the fridge freezer so she's split the cost with my mum and she owed her another £20 for that. My mum was fuming then when she went in her bedroom all the relatives clothes were everywhere the room was a tip my mum rang and basically said you've taken the P'ss and she said she left in a rush but knew my mum would have washing from her holiday so she could just Wack her stuff in aswell and she wanted the money for the electric because it's not her job to pay my mums bills even though she used the gas/electric my mum had on there

OneLongDay please tell me your mum did not give her any money for anything, & made the cheeky woman tidy up and remove her stuff from your mums home without doing her laundry for her

No fuzzy she didn't she put all her clothes in a black bag even damp ones and left it under the stairs when she come round a week later to pick up her stuff and money my mum handed her the bag out the door and said I haven't got time to chat but next time you pop round please bring the money you owe me for using my gas/electric that I already had on my meter that you used and closed the door.

My DM is normally a bit of push over so I was surprised she was so blunt about it but it just never got brought up after that. I do have other stories about the same relative

Thank goodness for that. And a jolly well done to your mum!