To think it wasn't my fault that her coat got dirty

[NatureRun]

In a busy coffee shop with 8-month-old DS and our NCT group. A woman pulled an extra chair up to join her friends at crowded table next to us. She sat down within grabbing range of DS and before I could stop him he twisted round in highchair and grabbed hold of her pale grey coatigan thing that she'd draped over chair and wiped his mouth on it He had prune puree and yogurt around his mouth as I was feeding him

Woman jumped up angrily and told me off. I apologised profusely but she was really angry. She insisted I pay for dry-cleaning. I refused (had she been nicer I may have offered) but she was making a scene and I loathed her.

If you sit within grabbing distance of a prune-covered baby surely that's not my fault? Or am I BU?

Ooh, am really surprised at the differing replies here - I think YANBU, the baby was in a high chair therefore his range was limited, pale grey and babies are not a good combination. I would consider it my responsibility if I got baby goo on me in that situation.

TooExtra, I think the need for dry cleaning comes from watching too much TV shows.

'UGH! I demand you pay for the dry cleaning on my coat-i-gan!'

TooExtra I've had a variety of dresses/knitwear which are dry clean only and were definitely not ok with a hand wash as I found out to my chagrin

Yeah, there are some things that maybe I could hand- or machine-wash, but I don't want to –hand-washing is hard work and not always that effective, and I've had too many things ruined in the wash to take any more chances, especially if things have cost me a lot of money.

Lets face it, the OP was in the wrong as soon as she said "in a busy coffee shop with 8 month old DS".

Is your child in the habit of wiping his mouth on other people's clothes?
Coffee shops are places for adults, not play groups as so many parents seem to assume.
You should definitely have offered to pay for dry cleaning.
This is the reason cafes ban parents with young children, because they won't/can't keep them under control.

I wouldn't expect a baby to swivel round, lean over, grab my jacket and wipe their mouth on it.

This! How do you know she wasn't on her way to an important meeting? I have often pulled up an extra chair at a table and not noticed (or cared) who was behind me because I've been focused on what I've been doing. I've also been in hundreds of coffee shops and never saw, or even thought that, a baby would do this.

I have some very expensive clothing which I tend to wear for work and I don't see why I should either wear cheaper clothes, or not go into coffee shops and put my coat on the back of the chair where else are you going to put it? ffs just in case some child decides to wipe their face on it?

And if they did, then yes, I too would want payment for cleaning it.

So, basically people think the woman was asking for it because of her choice of clothing?

Ha ha I had exactly the same situation a few years ago in cafe. The woman moved her chair to sit at the end of the table To the side of my DD who was about 9 months old.

Dd sneezed and sent a spray of food over myself and the lady. She was furious and said she was inclined to ask me to pay to clean her top. Ironically she spat as she spoke and so I told her that I was inclined to make her pay to clean my baby!

I do not think you were U. She should have considered her surroundings before she moved her chair considering you were already there. Young babies are inclined to throw finger food no everything. You can't pin their hands down!

No, coffee shops are places for members of the public - this encompasses all age groups. None of the coffee shops around here have banned young children - quite the opposite in fact!
If you don't want to be around young children, go to a bar.

Coffee shops are for everyone. Including people with coatigans

ZeeZeek*

I wouldn't expect a baby to swivel round, lean over, grab my jacket and wipe their mouth on it*

This!

I agree but I would also not have sat within arms reach of a baby in a high chair.....

No, coffee shops are places for members of the public - this encompasses all age groups. None of the coffee shops around here have banned young children - quite the opposite in fact!
If you don't want to be around young children, go to a bar.

For crying out loud! Why are so many people talking about damaging property? The baby didn't kick her fence in! It was a simple purée hand print. Hardly damaging property!

Just as much chance of getting shat on by a bird when you leave the cafe! Shit literally happens

I agree. It makes it sound more serious than it deserves to be

It was a simple purée hand print. Hardly damaging property!

Having spent many years trying to get purée hand prints etc out of clothing, I'm inclined to disagree!

Still, at least it wasn't banana.

YANBU. You apologised and that's enough.

Yes, perhaps you could have been a little more aware of what your DS was doing. Equally, she should have been a little more aware of where she was leaving her possessions if they were so precious to her.

Anything hanging on the back of a chair in a public place will be at risk of damage. If that is going to upset you, find a safer place for it.

Oh okay - thanks, Herewego and OnlyLovers. I thought you could generally wash knitwear unless it was embellished.

Fair enough if you had wiped your mouth on it, but it was a baby, these things happen. Bitch.

5 DC and childminder for 12 over the years and never had an issue with purée or banana. However I can't get the green tea stain out of my mugs

She's a bitch btw not you

focused, it wasn't a purée hand print; the baby wiped his mouth on it.

Yes. Cafés are dangerous places. I had a waitress chuck a mug of coffee all over my new white jumper. I was a bit miffed but muttered it's ok. It was an accident and the poor girl looked terrified

I don't understand people taking exception to the term property damage, given that someone's property was damaged.

It makes it sound like a car or something