To think it wasn't my fault that her coat got dirty

[NatureRun]

In a busy coffee shop with 8-month-old DS and our NCT group. A woman pulled an extra chair up to join her friends at crowded table next to us. She sat down within grabbing range of DS and before I could stop him he twisted round in highchair and grabbed hold of her pale grey coatigan thing that she'd draped over chair and wiped his mouth on it He had prune puree and yogurt around his mouth as I was feeding him

Woman jumped up angrily and told me off. I apologised profusely but she was really angry. She insisted I pay for dry-cleaning. I refused (had she been nicer I may have offered) but she was making a scene and I loathed her.

If you sit within grabbing distance of a prune-covered baby surely that's not my fault? Or am I BU?

I would have offered to pay for dry cleaning. YABU

It is your baby's fault her coat got dirty. You are responsible for your child's actions, ergo you should pay for it to be cleaned.

I don't think a baby can be "at fault" with anything. Babies don't have faults- how was this baby supposed to know not to touch the coat?
In an ideal world the OP could have stopped her baby from grabbing the coat but these things happen quickly, and in an even more ideal world the woman shouldn't have sat so close to the baby.

So I'd say its the cardigan woman's fault her beloved cardigan got pruned.

Except this wonan wasn't being polite to the OP was she - she was getting angry for something that was her own fault. Why would you offer to pay for something that you had no control over.
Christ there are some entitled, bitter women on this thread. Fancy expecting someone else to pay for your own mistake!

Christ there are some entitled, bitter women on this thread. Fancy expecting someone else to pay for your own mistake!

Yes to this!

Why feed a baby prunes anyway?

Don't they shit enough

Best comment on an otherwise monumentally tedious thread.

Until I had ds I was about as clueless about babies as you could be. I would still know that a baby being fed would be a sticky yogurty mess and not sit withing several feet of it. Yanbu.

YABU

YABVVVU for feeding your baby prune purée. On the other issue, you were both a bit U but also both not BU.

Where's the OP?

Yabvu

Interesting the split between the 'shit happens' and 'polluter pays' camps... Reminds me of a case years ago when someone brought an electric fan into the office during a hot summer... She left it there when she went on holiday. Whilst she was away the fan was used along with other fans.... And at some point during her holiday it broke - It just didn't work one day... When she returned she was furious and demanded that the person who 'broke' it paid.... My thoughts (I didn't say this to her) were that no one broke it, it just didn't work one morning and 'shit happens'... She just didn't see it that way and an atmosphere lasted for weeks.

Although I'd be like the Op and probably have offered to pay out of politeness had the other person not responded so angrily, my position is payment should only really be expected if there is fault or negligence rather than a simple unavoidable accident... For instance, if I visited a friend's house and the toilet flush happened to break when I went to the loo, or a light bulb happened to fuse if I put on the light, i may offer to pay out of courtesy but as these are clearly 'shit happens' accidents I would not expect to be taken up on the offer, or expect payment were that to happen at my home... In this case, they baby wiping food is more of an accident, and therefore 'compensation' should not be expected by the other person.

Sauvignon

It's her first post too, presumably we scared her away!

LieInsAreExtinct quite being normal. We don't take kindly to your sort 'round these parts.

Doh! quit

Yes accidents happen and it's not the end of the world but what doesn't sit right with me is the fact that you're implying that it was the woman's fault for choosing to sit near your baby. Surely you can know how crazy that sounds?!?!

I did have a word with a fellow tube passenger, whose suitcase had rubbed against my brand new dress.

However, she had actually rolled the wheels over my knees while I was seated, so I don't think I was too unreasonable in my complaint....

A couple of other points:

Those saying the Op WBU for not offering despite the other person responding very angrily, and continuing in that fashion, how unreasonable would the other person have to be for you not to offer to pay?

Those thinking that 'compensation' is appropriate for what can best be described as an accident, have the mindset of always having to attach blame that's corrosive to political debate and drives the damaging ambulance chasing culture that undermines our society.

Babies have short arms, so she must have been very close.

If I were costigan woman I would have realised the potential hazard, but she may not have children. If I were the OP I would have realised the pore entail hazard and kept a close eye on my baby...knowing what babies are capable of. As the OP was there first though, i think it's a draw.

In a situation like thus the OP should have apologised profusely, and cardigan woman should have got a grip and graciously accepted the apology.

Shit happens!

She needs to deal with it

YANBU, you apologised profusely and she kicked off.
Some people think their awful public behaviour is beyond reproach.
I'm sure if she had been more pleasant about this unfortunate accident you would have offered to pay for cleaning or perhaps a coffee and cake.

For instance, if I visited a friend's house and the toilet flush happened to break when I went to the loo, or a light bulb happened to fuse if I put on the light, i may offer to pay out of courtesy but as these are clearly 'shit happens' accidents

Actually, no I was wrong... I wouldn't actually offer to pay for a lightbulb that happened to blow when I put on the light... As it would have been a pure accident, and just one of those things... Like a baby grabbing at things that are nearby!

Something doesn't have to be your personal fault for it to be your responsibility though. For example, when dd damaged her friends shoes (when she was about six) at school I felt is was my responsibility to pay for new shoes even though I personally wasn't at fault because she is my child. This situation is similar.

Whilst she was away the fan was used along with other fans.... And at some point during her holiday it broke - It just didn't work one day... When she returned she was furious and demanded that the person who 'broke' it paid.... My thoughts (I didn't say this to her) were that no one broke it, it just didn't work one morning and 'shit happens'... She just didn't see it that way and an atmosphere lasted for weeks.

I think it depends on whether she gave permission for her fan to be used. If not I don't blame her for being angry that it was broken. Shit may happen but it wouldn't have happened if her fan had not been used.

However, she had actually rolled the wheels over my knees while I was seated

I'm really struggling to visualise this!

It is nobody's fault. A baby is a baby, they don't know! Yanbu. She was unreasonable to make such a scene and 'telling you off' also all the people who are say yabu . I hope they all get pruned!! If you have children you know how quickly a baby can touch/grab something. Tossers

I'd have thrown the rest of it at her! Parent or not, everybody knows that children are filthy creatures that will grab anything in reach! If you want to be all precious about your clothes, don't sit next to a prune covered baby! You apologised and she was still vile to you, I'd have thrown the rest of it at her! 😂😂😂