To think this is bloody rude or am I just a boring cow?

[booitsme]

Out for dinner today and a cereal offender asked me a question and and literally seconds in to my reply stops eye contact and starts listening to another conversation at the table! She has done it on so many occasions. Nobody else does it to me. Our relationship isn't such that I can pull her on it each time so occasionally I have said sorry am I going on a bit... She just looks confused on each occasion as if we had never had the previous conversation. I think it's so rude. 😡

Thanks everyone for making me
Laugh at least 🙈😆

Thanks Grumpy. I am conscious of my weight and it makes me feel very uncomfortable around her but as you say it's her issue not mine.

She sounds a total Fruit Loop.
Am I too late?

Humour makes things Just Right,

Point it out to her. "MiL, are you distracted by my ample thighs? They are marvelous and strong. DH loves it when I wrap them around him..." Maybe not.

No KittyKrap not too late it's all day breakfast here!

Actually DH tells me I stare at people as well, I think it is another thing that can be more common in people with learning difficulties/on the autism spectrum etc. I don't realise I'm doing it. I can honestly say I don't look at people's fat though, I can't imagine why anyone would because what I look at (and am in fact staring intently at sometimes, apparently) are things that I find interesting like animals, children, funky hairdos, nice shoes, stuff like that. But I can imagine sometimes people look back and think I am being rude but I am not trying to be and don't realise I'm doing it.

But on the other hand, MIL could just be a twat. Who knows?!

Also, those cereal jokes were great, gave me a right smile!

Boo, I'm sure you're lovely just the way you are. Next time you see her stare at the gap between the middle of her eyebrows. It not obviously her forehead or her eyes and it confuses the hell out of people who are trying to get one over. Just stare and glaze over...then, 'sorry, what were you saying?'. But that's just me

IT is very rude
I think doing it back to her is a great idea!

I know it's easier said than done but just try and ignore her. It's possible that's she is just a bit thick rather Than doing it to be nasty. Avoid her if you can and if you can't then avoid sitting next to her and avoid chatting to her.

If you catch her staring then let her know that you have noticed. Pretend that you think that her staring must mean you've spilt something or that there is a spider on you or something similarly dramatic. . I'd go for a full on over reaction OMG, OMG What are you looking at, OMG Is it a spider, agghh! I HATE spiders? It's a spider isn't it?. Etc etc. it won't achieve anything but it might keep you entertained.

Seriously (or should I say cereasly ) it's not worth the head space trying to work out what people like her are thinking so you might as well not bother.

Ps I love the jokes on this thread. I think 'Wheat a bitch' is the winner

KittyKrap def. will do that next time! Meadowhay she is very discontented with her life; glass is smashed to pieces not just half empty! The only thing I think she's genuinely happy about (other than grandkids and sons) is that she restricts her calories and is slim. She's very quick to comment on others putting even tiny amount of weight on and That's why her staring at fat bits makes me especially uncomfortable! I know it's her problem but not nice to be around.

Quook I've been told to do that before and don't know why I don't. I will do it next time and yes you've got to love wheat a bitch! 😆

Maybe she puts the nut in Crunchy Nut?

that probably sounded a lot funnier in my head but someone already went with fruit loop

She's quick to comment on others putting a tiny bit of weight on?
Then fight back! 'Are you feeling ok, you look very drawn..' Or 'it must be nice to be able to fit into such tiny tops, I can't do anything with my huge baps' with a jiggle at FiL for good measure.

Or just tell her to go fuck herself? She sounds miserable so I doubt anyone is doing it for her

Loving the cereal jokes!

RE the not listening to the answer to a question you've been asked (actually, the reason you posted before all the funny, funny mnetters made their jokes!) if she did this to me I would say "sorry, am I boring you?"

RE the looking at your less-than-perfect bits (which I'm sure are better than you think they are). I don't tell many people this, but when I was a teenager (30 years ago), if there was someone I didn't like and they had a spot (everyone always has a spot when you're a teenager) I used to talk TO the spot. I'm 46 and I still do this if I'm talking to someone mean (oh, how they squirm and move their faces around. Gives me joy! But I AM horrible).

Your MIL sounds like a wheatabitch

I'd rather spend time with you and your dad than her

Must make you so mad you're Ready to Brek her neck.

When she loses interest just stop speaking, I've done that and it works, they look guilty and say something like 'Do go on'. You then decide whether to or not. Not works well.

YANBU. My MIL also does this a lot (not listening when I answer a question she has asked) and I've never noticed her do it to anyone else. It really irritates me so I generally just stop talking when she does it, but no one notices (not even DH!) I would never say anything to her as other than this we get on reasonably well, but it does make me feel a bit rubbish.

It would be oat so simple to put her in her place. She may think she's Special K, but I'd advise a complete All Bran on further conversation.

Next time just tell her to get oat

I do as per Beezieken. It's my DH that does this sometimes. But I NEVER go on to finish the conversation. I politely explain that his rudeness has cost him those sentences and, just like him, I can't be arsed focusing any more on what I was saying so he'll have to "make up th ending" himself.

I then generally leave the room but would also be OK to sit in deeply uncomfortable silence in a restaurant. Conversation starters from his side would be met with yawns, random bathroom breaks and so forth. They need to understand what it's like to be on the receiving end.

DH offends infrequently these days. Else he'd be toast

Absolutely LOVE 'wheat-a-bitch' genius!

I can second the 'just stop talking' method. DH sometimes tries to finish my sentences (we have been married a long time), so I just stop talking and let him. He apologises, apparently he just wants to join in :)

Or you could say answer a question with "I'm not telling you. You don't listen anyway". And if she stares at you stare back at her.

I did this when eating some sushi in a local shopping centre. Everyone else around us was eating burger/pizza type foods and the man at the table next to us just kept staring. I just gave an obvious stare back, and it disconcerted him so much that he quickly finished his food and went away. Result!

Thanks everyone I think I just have to grow a pair. I think what makes me feel even worse is I have stopped talking a few times (and she just merrily joins in in the new conversation) but mainly I try and persevere and that's just embarrassing. I don't want to fall out with her and I tend to be the type of person who is ridiculously passive or I blow my top and regret it!