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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hope an adult might have noticed

99 replies

QueenofLouisiana · 15/04/2016 19:15

That DS sat and ate an apple and a buscuit for lunch. No drink, no lunchbox as he'd left them at home.

He didn't want to make a fuss so didn't ask for a school dinner or ask the office to contact me. He found some fruit in the classroom and a friend gave him a biscuit.

I'd realised he'd forgotten his lunch and rung school to tell them he'd need a lunch and that I'd drop the money in that afternoon. It was only discovered he hadn't eaten when I tried to pay.

He's in yr6, so yes it is my/ his fault- not the school's. However, no-one noticed a complete lack of food. Are they missing children for whom this is an everyday event- not a one day cock-up? Would you flag this up?

OP posts:
ohmywhatamisaying · 15/04/2016 19:21

"To hope an adult might have noticed" - you mean like the parents noticing that they haven't got their lunch with them when they leave the house?

LindyHemming · 15/04/2016 19:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hissy · 15/04/2016 19:22

Your school should have told him that he had a lunch when you rang. Ours would.

No school would let a child go hungry, You need to have a calm conversation about this with him.

First he needs to take responsibility for his lunchbox (this my have taught him a valuable lesson ironically)

Secondly if he ever finds himself in a similar position to speak to the office.

My son (yr5) always has dinners on Friday, packed lunch other days. One day he got confused and realised he hadn't got his lunchbox. He went to the office and they rang me. I said to them that he had clearly not realised it was Friday, and he had lunch already paid for.

It was then that they said he'd always be fed regardless.

Buckinbronco · 15/04/2016 19:23

Yabu. I was like that as a child, too embarrassed to cause fuss. He probably went off quietly and was too embarrassed to ask.

RudeElf · 15/04/2016 19:23

Year 6 is 10/11? At that age there isnt much attention paid to what they eat. Staff are paying more attention to little ones tbh. He really is old enough to go and explain that he needs a dinner.

Savagebeauty · 15/04/2016 19:23

I would expect a year 6 child to tell someone. He clearly didn't starve.

AChickenCalledKorma · 15/04/2016 19:24

There are 400 children at my daughter's school so no, I would not expect them to notice a year 6 child eating less than usual. He should have told someone.

MrsMainwaring · 15/04/2016 19:25

What savage said

HypodeemicNerdle · 15/04/2016 19:25

Honestly? If he is in year 6 he should have spoken up.
I had a similar incident with my yr 3 DS, suddenly realised he'd left his lunchbox at home in the early afternoon. I rang the school and they checked with him, he'd spoken up and had a hot dinner.
I suspect the school assume that by year 6 that children are old enough to take some responsibility to speak up when they need help

bibbitybobbityyhat · 15/04/2016 19:26

No, I don't think I would flag this up. I would have a chat with my child about asking for help when needed.

bushtailadventures · 15/04/2016 19:28

Depends on where they eat too I would think, in the Hall with legions 2 supervisors, someone would/should probably have noticed, although lunchtimes can be a little hectic. In the classroom, with maybe 1 supervisor looking after 2 classes, probably too busy trying to get them to behave to notice what he was eating.

Tell him it's not making a fuss to tell the office that he forgot his lunch, someone will always sort him out something to eat.

Mysteryfla · 15/04/2016 19:28

Missing one meal won't kill him. I bet he doesn't forget his lunch again.

ParadiseCity · 15/04/2016 19:29

My Y6 would be unlikely to speak up, he hates this sort of situation, but being honest that is his own problem to work on and I wouldn't expect school to notice.

SoupDragon · 15/04/2016 19:32

He is 1 term off secondary school, he really should have had the sense to tell someone! I think staff would be too busy to notice one single older child didn't have a full lunch.

He'll be fine and has hopefully learnt that he should 1) try to be more organised and b) say something! :)

SolsburyHell · 15/04/2016 19:32

I agree with pp that say, at 10/11, it is down to him to have explained the situation. I was expecting you to say that he was KS1. Unless his school his tiny, or it is an every day occurrence, I wouldn't expect the school to notice.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/04/2016 19:32

He has to learn to speak up, he is 10/11 years old. Staff are too busy looking after the younger ones, next time it will teach him not to forget his lunch box.

TheFairyCaravan · 15/04/2016 19:33

He's going to secondary school soon so he needs to start speaking up. No one will be monitoring lunches then.

Groovee · 15/04/2016 19:33

My Ds did this a few times. Eventually he got the courage to tell someone and they would phone to get it sorted.

NerrSnerr · 15/04/2016 19:34

He's year 6, he needs to tell someone. He'll be going to secondary in a few months!

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 15/04/2016 19:34

He's 10?
He's past the age of lunch box monitoring. He's old enough to speak up

PotteringAlong · 15/04/2016 19:35

You didn't notice and you've only got 1/2/3 children to sort out!

Costacoffeeplease · 15/04/2016 19:35

He needs to remember his lunch or speak up to someone - maybe role play it with him? He's going to need to be a bit more robust in secondary school

veryproudvolleyballmum · 15/04/2016 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz · 15/04/2016 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ihearttc · 15/04/2016 19:39

Unless he has some additional needs which you haven't mentioned then it is up to him to speak up and tell someone he hasn't got any lunch.

DS1 is in Y6 and usually only has a apple and a packet of crisps at lunchtime...sandwich comes home undated. He just wants to get outside and play football.

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