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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that DCs should be served first?

167 replies

DioneTheDiabolist · 15/04/2016 17:11

When dining with my family, we always serve the children first. It gives us time and space to cut up food, get them sorted with sauces etc. Then, when the adult food arrives everyone is ready to tuck in.

I have been eating out recently with friends and more often than not the adults are served first. Why do restaurants do this? It causes more faff than necessary. Back in the dark ages when I waited tables we were told to serve children first. Happy DCs = happy bill payers.

So AIBU to think DCs should be served first?

OP posts:
TheCrumpettyTree · 15/04/2016 20:09

I always think children's meals should come first. Else I have two grumpy small children who want my food!

redcaryellowcar · 15/04/2016 20:09

Yanbu if mine arrives first, my DC eat mine!

trufflehunterthebadger · 15/04/2016 20:09

In most working kitchens food is sent as its ready. It maybe that the people doing the kids meals are running behind the main chefs

no, in almost every professional kitchen the food is sent out when the table's complete order is ready.

Want2bSupermum · 15/04/2016 20:31

Let me tell you how it takes 5 mins per toddler......

I normally order grilled chicken, carrot sticks and broccoli. All of it needs to be chopped. The first minute or so is spent with toddler trying to help and me redirecting them to sit down. I finally get the toddler sat down and fingers off the plate. I start cutting up food. Child wants food cut a certain way. Another 30 seconds or so later I resume chopping. Other child normally makes a run for it at this point or drops a piece of cutlery on the floor. Another 30 seconds later I resume chopping. It continues like this. I hate places that give me a squeeze bottle of ketchup. Dd has managed to squirt ketchup inadvertently which I then clean up before sitting down to eat my meal.

Ceic · 15/04/2016 20:31

Ponders...

Is this why they have "Family Style Dining" in the US - I think it's where the restaurant places the pot in the middle and you dish up like you were at home? Have I got that right? Because then you can dish up according to your own needs.

TheSolitaryWanderer · 15/04/2016 20:34

So, OP, have you asked restaurants to serve your children first and are being ignored?
Or are you relying on telepathy and getting angry when the kitchen staff aren't tuned in?

OneMagnumisneverenough · 15/04/2016 20:42

I don't think your issue is with the restaurants not serving the food at the correct time supermum. Your issue is that your children don't behave or you are ordering stuff that makes it a headache. If they don't behave then they can deal with their own meal. If they want it cut up by you then they need to sit still. Carrot sticks shouldn't need cut up. Brocolli may need it depending on the size but to be honest it's really the chicken that needs cut up. Plus there are no carbs in that meal, is that deliberate? If it honestly takes you 10 minutes then either order something that doesn't need it or let them do it themselves or cut up the main bit (the chicken) and leave them to do the easy bit.

glamorousgrandmother · 15/04/2016 20:53

In Italy, last year, I noticed that children were always served first in restaurants.

mmgirish · 15/04/2016 20:55

You should ask them to serve children first although, in my experience, better places will do so anyway

It's a fairly modern aspiration for everyone to begin eating together. The wealthy used to eat as their food was served (silver service) or even way before that when an enormous feast meant the top of the table could be served a long time before the bottom. After that came the idea that everyone's closh was lifted at the same time and the middle class decided that beginning to eat at the same time was the closest they could get. If a child needs help to eat then they can also begin eating before the rest of the table's ready.

Want2bSupermum · 15/04/2016 23:33

one exactly. That's why it takes 10mins. They need to sit still and then I cut up their fold. Takes 2 or 3 reminders. I'm then doing it with a 2nd DC. Carrot sticks (which are cooked) def need to be cut up. They are 4" or so long so I cut into bite sized pieces otherwise I have one child who tries to inhale them.

I order what my kids will eat and while they eat potato and pasta at home, they don't like most of what is served at restaurants. Anyway veg are carbs.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 15/04/2016 23:39

Cant they just put the carrot stick on their fork and bite off chunks? I'm sorry but if mine were taking a few reminders to sit still while getting their stuff cut up then I'd not be treating them to dinner out until they behaved better. I know they all have their moments and off days, but it sounds like this is a regular occurrence. Otherwise I'd just leave them to get on with it and enjoy my meal tbh.

summerdreams · 16/04/2016 00:06

Yanbu it makes perfect sense.

DropYourSword · 16/04/2016 05:45

Am a bit Confused at how it can take you 10 minutes but you say it takes the kitchen seconds to do it.
Why don't you just over their plate to in front of you, chop chop chop and return. Sounds like you're making things ridiculously over complicated.

Want2bSupermum · 16/04/2016 06:06

Yes it takes the kitchen seconds to do it. It takes me longer. I don't expect the kitchen to do it. Here in the US a few of the family friendly places will cut down food without being asked.

Also I'm so pleased everyone else has wonderful children who sit like angels while their food is cut up. I don't let my kids eat with their fingers or eat food by taking bites off a chunk of food while it is on a fork. My kids are not perfect and if their food isn't going to be brought out first I want to know so I can order something cold.

LaContessaDiPlump · 16/04/2016 06:22

I'm amazed at all these kids that sit and wait nicely in restaurants! Mine are 4 and 5 and they are not fun in restaurants, despite my best efforts. It would help a lot if the food and plates weren't scalding hot, for me - the number of tears we've had due to saying 'You have to wait.... yes I know it's just there but you still have to wait.....nearly cool enough..... .....not yet, obviously.....'

mathanxiety · 16/04/2016 06:50

I agree with those saying all the food should come out at the same time or children should be served first.

Want2be -- I never ordered food that needed cutting up for my children. They could eat healthy food at home, but when we went out I ordered something they could eat with their fingers, or something like tortellini that comes in individual forkfuls. No to spaghetti, yes to rotini, never pieces of meat like chicken but yes to burgers.

I also made eating out 'next time' contingent on good behaviour 'this time'.

WeAreEternal · 16/04/2016 06:58

YANBU this a huge pet peeve of mine.

bittapitta · 16/04/2016 07:02

supermum your eating out habits are astounding. Why not let your children use a fork or even their fingers (with non messy food)? A 3/4yo does not need the majority of their food chopping up! Meat yes but certainly not veg. You are creating work for yourself.

Stillwishihadabs · 16/04/2016 07:15

I think restaurants should ask I have greedy kids efficient eaters ( always have been). If their food comes first they are finished aages before the adults. It's not too bad when it's just do and I, but a nightmare with slow eaters ( dh's elderly parents or other people's toddlers).

KittyCheshire · 16/04/2016 08:02

I still have to cut my son's food, ds has ASD and dyspraxia so even at nearly 10, I need a couple of minutes to sort his food out so he can eat it. I don't get why people are so surprised that some kids need a bit of help with cutlery!

SquinkiesRule · 16/04/2016 08:55

Sending out food with 20 minute gaps to a single table is pretty bad service from the kitchen to start with. Good chefs with well run kitchens can manage a whole order all completed and ready to deliver all at once, so everyone gets hot food at the same time. Sounds like a bit of a rubbish restaurant that can't get it together. OP. I wouldn't bother going there if the kids are expected to sit and watch me eat while waiting for their food.

Gothgirl78 · 16/04/2016 08:59

This thread reminds me why I love mumsnet Grin

gasman · 16/04/2016 09:42

I eat out with assorted friends plus kids weekly. We stopped going to Jamie's (the irony) as the kids food usually came ages after the adult and they changed the pasta with bolognese from penne to spaghetti. Trying to get 4 year olds to eat spaghetti nicely just about broke me. Jamie Oliver is a parent he must know that penne is miles easier to eat!!

My other bugbear is when the waiting staff don't listen to the kids when they are trying to order. These urbane kids are well able to order for themselves.

We now tend to go to one of two family run places (Greek or Italian) who get these aspects right.

paxillin · 16/04/2016 09:43

Well, looking at this thread, some parents cut up everything, some children don't need any help. Some want the kids meal 10 min before the adult ones, some at the same time, some adults first. Some kids patiently wait even if their pudding is last, others riot if they are not served before everybody else.

So if the order is important, ask the waiter.

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee · 16/04/2016 10:33

Ten mins is still exaggerating, even though its your childrens bad behavior and your odd ordering choices that makes up the problem.
Don't people know how to order in restaurants at all? For the ten minute poster, yo just say "grilled chicken, broccoli and carrot sticks for the children, can you please slice the chicken and do the veg bitesize, and can we have the childrens food first please? "
IS that so hard?
Or do you just sit and huff and complain afterwards?