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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Wedding Special!

93 replies

Fyaral · 15/04/2016 16:01

DP's best mate is getting married tomorrow. Its been a bit of a shambles but I am v close to sacking it off altogether.

We have never recieved proper invitations as they were too disorganised so this has all bern over text and fb message.

DP and groom have been mates since uni. Groom has been crap at meeting up for a while even though we live quite close. I don't know them well but have driven them around city in past as they don't drive.

Originally we were invited to the wedding then it changed to dp invited to whole thing and I could come to everything except the ceremony as the room was too small. Whatever. I would meet dp straight after then we would go to reception.

On Monday, dp asked if I had put in food choices. I was confused as had not been asked at all. Dp texts to confirm I am invited to reception and they say no, only evening starting at 8. This is definitely a change from before.

So... AIBU to think they are rude gits and go to my mates birthday instead which will be much more fun?

OP posts:
whois · 15/04/2016 16:02

Oh yeah, go to your mates birthday instead.

pinkyredrose · 15/04/2016 16:03

YANBU! they obviously don't want you there, if I were you I'd definitely go to my mates birthday and have a great time!

Normandy144 · 15/04/2016 16:04

Oh god sounds awful. I'd send your DP and give it a wide birth. Go to your best mates. If they get sniffy you could always say 'didn't you get my text saying I couldn't make it'?

ScarletOverkill · 15/04/2016 16:04

Mates birthday.
I doubt you would get any comeback from not going. What does your DP think?

Lilaclily · 15/04/2016 16:05

Agree don't go

MissBattleaxe · 15/04/2016 16:05

The groom is rude. Don't bother. I think it's rude to only invite one half of a couple when you know them both well enough to cadge lifts off. Enjoy the birthday party!

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee · 15/04/2016 16:05

I'd go to the birthday. You don't really know them and they never really invited you properly anyway. At the rate they are going they won't let you in to the evening party anyway!

It's going to be a shambles of a wedding altogther, isn't it?

Therealloislane · 15/04/2016 16:05

Yanbu definitely go to your friend's party!

gamerchick · 15/04/2016 16:05

Bloody right go to your mates birthday. Cheeky gits.

MadisonAvenue · 15/04/2016 16:06

Definitely go to your mate's birthday event and don't give this wedding another thought (and don't give them any more lifts either).

Original poster
Fyaral · 15/04/2016 16:10

DP is sad about it as his mate is so crap but won't mind me not going.

Another detail I forgot is we are putting up best man and another couple we know for the wedding. I don't mind as I like them and like hosting but they will all be swanning off together and I will be left. I won't drive them there even though I'm the only driver. They can get a taxi. I have to go get the couple from the station in a while.

OP posts:
AlpacaPicnic · 15/04/2016 16:12

Go to the birthday. They won't even notice you are not there, and I mean that in a nice, not-as-bitchy-as-it-now-sounds way.

TheCrumpettyTree · 15/04/2016 16:12

Go to the birthday, they sound like shit friends.

WellErrr · 15/04/2016 16:14

Go to the birthday.

Ginmakesitallok · 15/04/2016 16:16

Wait a minute, you're putting up 2 couples and you're not even invited to the meal? Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

Gatehouse77 · 15/04/2016 16:16

What does your DP want to do?
If it doesn't cause problems between you and him, I'd go to your mate's birthday...

SleepyBoBo · 15/04/2016 16:16

I'd go to my mates birthday, wouldn't cross my mind to feel bad. They obviously have not considered you, so feel no guilt giving them the same treatement. Go where you're welcomed and will most certainly have fun.

NicknameUsed · 15/04/2016 16:17

If the groom is your partner's best mate why hasn't he said anything to him about being so inconsistent?

I agree that you should go to the birthday. I wouldn't bother getting the B & G a present either.

pictish · 15/04/2016 16:17

Go to your mate's birthday. It's not a big deal.

Ciggaretteandsmirnoff · 15/04/2016 16:18

So they are using you to facilitate folk getting to their wedding? I'd be pissed off and TBH your dp should have said something.

Go to your mates birthday

pictish · 15/04/2016 16:18

Do think it's odd that the groom wouldn't invite his best mate's partner to the whole day though. Are they getting married in a caravan?

FishWithABicycle · 15/04/2016 16:19

Yanbu. You have no obligation to attend any part of any wedding (well, perhaps your own is an exception)

pictish · 15/04/2016 16:20

And you have their wedding guests staying with you?
Gosh...I'm sure B&G didn't intend any offence but nevertheless that is quite rude.

Go to your mate's birthday thing. No question.

EponasWildDaughter · 15/04/2016 16:21

That's beyond rude.

Bad manners to split a couple up IMO. Invite one - invite both.

Especially if one of the couple is best man and the other is putting up 3 of the other guests.

YANBU to go to friend's do instead.

Ameliablue · 15/04/2016 16:21

Go to the birthday.