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AIBU?

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Original poster

to report this to FB/primary school child protection officer

169 replies

MrsBlimey · 14/04/2016 14:01

So I'm on FB and one of the suggested friends for me is an (only just) 9 yr old girl who is the same class as my kids at school. Was so surprised I clicked on it as I was shocked that a 9 yr old would have a profile and I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything massively dodgy.

Turns out on the profile she says her date of birth is 10 yrs earlier than it really is (presumably so that she can create an account). Can't immediately see that there is anything massively dodgy (apart from that) on the profile but then again I'm not friends with her so there may be other bits restricted to just people she's friends with.

So, with my judgy pants well and truly up to my chest and almost keeping my neck warm, should I report this to FB?

Should this also (judgy pants working as a hat now) be reported to school, which is very hot at the moment on esafety issues with that class in particular?

Sadly I am reluctant to raise the issue with the child's mother personally as I (and many others) have been on the receiving end of unnecessary nastiness and unwarranted vitriol a bit like local vigilantism in the past, which lead to my own kids being bullied by her daughter and her friends in school.

Have no desire to seek revenge for the bullying by reporting the profile, btw, although I can see how that might be misinterpreted.

I am a teacher too (different school) and I have dealt with parents with similar concerns which were taken seriously by both FB and the school.

WWYD??

OP posts:
RattieOfCatan · 14/04/2016 16:34

Facebook don't care and the parents probably set it up for her. I know somebody whose child was six when she got an account, it was awful especially as a lot of bad things happened to the parents soon after. The mum would post on fb about it for support and the child would respond, it really isn't a site for children.

This child (now 8/9) has recently started using it a lot more, her mum owns a large group about an interest we share which she is on and she frequently posts on it and chats to complete strangers on there along with messaging all of us, she doesn't know most of us at all. It worries me tbh, especially given that only a year ago a member was messaging another member, a young woman who looks like an older child, because he thought she was under 13.

OurBlanche · 14/04/2016 16:38

Ah! See, as a teacher, now you have seen it, you are obliged by law to report it. If you don't you can be prosecuted.

Yes, I do appreciate that that is really far fetched, but that could be the upshot of mandatory reporting for teachers, nurses etc.

But I too would suspect that the fb is mum's not the kid's. Nowt so weird as folk!

Original poster
MrsBlimey · 14/04/2016 16:48

So I went to FB to report the profile but there's no category for 'underage' (at least in my phone). Didn't even get a chance to enter free text about it, to explain that she's not 19 yrs but 9. So there's fudge all that FB will do, I can imagine.

I will just drop a line to the headteacher to say what I've seen. She can then decide what action, if any, needs to be taken. She too has sent stuff home very recently about kids using social media inappropriately, so I imagine she won't dismiss it.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 15/04/2016 01:16

*created an account for children as newborn babies, and used it to tag every picture or reference they post on fb about their child (and sometimes the child's siblings) so that the child will have it as a kind of record when they grow up.

You think that's bad, I keep getting friend requests from people's bloody dogs!

SeriousSteve · 15/04/2016 02:58

Should report it to both FB and school.

Mistigri · 15/04/2016 06:15

It's up to the parents if their child has a FB account surely? It's not illegal.

Schools should educate children about social media, but I am horrified that any teacher thinks it's a school's job to police parents in this way.

FlyingElbows · 15/04/2016 06:39

My son's profile says he's 114, you might want to save him from my feckless parenting while you've clearly got nothing better to do!

You have a problem with the child's mother. Perhaps you should own that rather than trying to poke the bear for your own amusement? Your pearl clutching is are somewhat transparent.

Skittlesss · 15/04/2016 06:44

I agree that you should let school know. Not for the policing of parents or children, but for the education of the risks surrounding having social media accounts in a world where this is often used by predators to access young children.

My children are younger, so haven't got to that stage of schooling yet and therefore I don't know whether all schools educate children so young about this.

I don't think it's a case of you wanting to get her into trouble or anything like that. You're simply concerned and, quite frankly, I don't think Facebook (or Instagram, twitter etc) is suitable for a 9 year old. Maybe because I work in safeguarding (police) and see so many online offences where a child has had a profile (perhaps for playing games as mentioned above) and a paedophile has contacted them this way.

I would drop a line to the head and let them know. You don't even have to tell them which child it is.

MsJamieFraser · 15/04/2016 06:46

The school can't really do anything about this, I just don't understand why you dont report the page to Facebook themselves? they are shot hit on stuff like this.

Spandexpants007 · 15/04/2016 06:51

Don't do anything but yes what a stupid parent

MsJamieFraser · 15/04/2016 06:52

So report under "this is a fake profile or "she may be in danger of hurting herself" and then press subject to Facebook for review, Facebook will then email you back and ask your reason and voila done.

gamerchick · 15/04/2016 06:55

*you've clearly got nothing better to do!

You have a problem with the child's mother. Perhaps you should own that rather than trying to poke the bear for your own amusement? Your pearl clutching is are somewhat transparent*

Yep ^

icklekid · 15/04/2016 06:56

As a teacher if we have any pupils reported we fill in this format to report to Facebook. m.facebook.com/help/contact/209046679279097 hope it helps

icklekid · 15/04/2016 06:57

*form not format!

pictish · 15/04/2016 07:06

I really don't have too much faith in the mother (for reasons already explained) to be supervising her use of it

Mind your own business. Please.

eurochick · 15/04/2016 07:08

I don't really understand the level of judginess. As others have suggested it sounds like your real issue is with the parents.

Rainbowcolours1 · 15/04/2016 07:15

You can report it to FB and they can delete the account. We have done this as a school. Parents don't seem to realise that people can get into accounts and can use and doctor the pictures for whatever they want...they can also be used to build up information about a child which can potentially led to grooming etc. this may sound OTT but I wouldn't want to take the risk. The digital footprint created by parents as soon as they upload a photo, set up profiles etc. cannot be deleted and the child has no say in what is said about them or shown about them.

wavingnow · 15/04/2016 07:20

At our school they warned parents that if any pupil were found to have a facebook account they would be reported. I was happy with this because it helped parents deal with the pressure.

Muskey · 15/04/2016 07:20

I have had three friend requests from dd school mates. In each instance I have ignored the requests as a I don't want to upset the dc involved as I think they want x number of friends on their accounts to make them look more popular than they might actually be (followers/like =friends) . Plus the fact that I really do not want dc looking at what I write on FB (which isn't much)

slkk · 15/04/2016 07:30

You can report underage accounts anonymously, the option for underage comes a bit later in the reporting process I think. Facebook don't respond very quickly and won't get back to you. I've done this with several of my young students, mainly if they have public identifying information like school uniform. If everything is locked down and private I tend to leave it alone. I have involved parents and the head teacher when there is public inappropriate use (e.g. Provocative photos/messages, racist rants/arguments etc).

RuthyToothy · 15/04/2016 07:36

One couple post soppy messages to each other from that account pretending to be their 18 month old (along the lines of "thank you for taking me to the zoo today Mummy, I had a lovely day and you looked so pretty in that top, I have the best Mummy in the world blah blah blah love from your non verbal only just toddling offspring

Ah, such a joy to start the day with a bit of sick in my mouth! Grin

Skittlesss · 15/04/2016 07:39

The thing is though, it's not about the child and how sensible they are on Facebook etc. It's other people you can't trust.

If a paedophile sees they are a child then they may start messaging them etc, or worse - I have had cases where the offender has simply sent an indecent image to the child (because he was sexually aroused by the knowledge he had sent this photo to a child). You can't make your child "unsee" that. :(

Gatehouse77 · 15/04/2016 07:51

I've reported someone for being underage and I don't believe their account exists any longer.

Can someone explain why a newborn needs an account in their own name rather than people seeing photos on the parent's account? Surely, those parents are part of the problem for flouting the rules?

Mine were not allowed until they were 13. The elder two didn't bother until they were 15 and mostly just use the messaging for group chats. My youngest could have an account but as yet isn't bothered. She does, however, have an Instagram account but learnt the hard way that some people (read back stabbing littles witches from school) can't be trusted. She's much more selective now. Thankfully.

wonkylegs · 15/04/2016 08:18

Those saying what can the school do about it? Are missing the point that schools can and do reinforce principles of Internet safety. So following a report like this, they could have a refresher with the kids about what is and isn't appropriate to post online - not all reporting stuff has to have a negative effect like banning people or telling them off, it can prompt people to do more positive actions like educating kids and ensuring they have the tools to use the Internet safely.

TheyCallMeFrank · 15/04/2016 08:22

I've just rejoined under a new name to post this. (Because I couldn't remember my password to name change Blush). My BFs partner is very high up in Aust Fed Police cyber crime. To those posting pics of their children on FB or allowing their young kids/teens access to social media please educate yourselves around international pedophile activities, how they chose their targets, what they look for, the types of images they collect and share.

When these sick bastards are caught they ALWAYS have collections of random photos of children, often catalogued "boys at beach" "females in bath" "random naked" "teen bra" etc etc - these are family photos stolen from FB, Instagram etc of OUR babies and children, catalogued and shared over and over, all around the world for them to ogle and drool over. These are not isolated incidents, they are not just happening in third world nations, to unloved or unwanted kids - the more wholesome, "clean", innocent and beautiful your child's photo, the more likely some sick bastard who sees it is likely to "collect" and share it.

Check your phone settings for location services not only might you be giving them a photo of your child (likely even their name) but you may be letting them know where he/she is too Sad

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