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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cosleep with 6wk old? Scared to discuss in RL

115 replies

YesterdayTomorrowToday · 14/04/2016 10:26

Last night our 6 week old baby refused to go to sleep no matter what we did. In the end I fed him laying down in bed and we both fell asleep, the next thing I knew it was 5:30am this morning, by far the longest he has slept since being born!

I loved it and I fed him again at 5:30 and the cuddled him back to sleep until 7:45am, which is unheard of.

AIBU to continue cosleeping with 6 week old? Is he too young? I followed all advice, no covers, no pillows near, no walls to get wedged in, DH knew he was there and we hadn't drank and we don't smoke.

I am too scared of being judged in RL as MIL has already made her feelings known despite the fact we hadn't even done it then, and the HV also mentioned she doesn't agree with it.

Would love the benefit of all your wisdom and experience MNers.

OP posts:

BusyCee · 14/04/2016 23:36

Sorry, haven't rtft, but another who co slept here. I get what you mean about not wanting to discuss in RL - it can be quite emotive. But as pp have said, do it safely for as long as suits your baby. 6mo DC3 has just moved into her cot where she now sleeps happily because she seems to prefer the space and quiet. Up until 3wks ago we do slept with her because she and I loved it and kept me sane. I still sometimes being her into bed with me first thing in the morning because it's utter bloody bliss

ThirtyNineWeeks · 14/04/2016 23:41

I've bed-shared with my ds since birth (now 11 wks)and I told my HV from the start. When I detected a lecture coming in I told her straight I wasn't after her opinion and if she didn't like it she could ram it.

MadameJosephine · 14/04/2016 23:53

I have co sleep with both of mine, DD is just starting to go into her own bed by choice but ends up in with me.

If your HV is interested direct her to this site, loads of information about healthy and safe co sleeping
www.isisonline.org.uk/pdf_info/

Scooterloo · 14/04/2016 23:59

I co-slept both mine. I slept without duvet but wore thermals, baby in a sleeping bag, no duvet, no pillows, never inbetween you and DP. It is safe if done properly - the human race did not evolve with cots.

FuckSanta · 15/04/2016 00:15

Cots and prams are legacies of the Victorian era, when it was felt by the upper classes that tiny babies had no business being close to their mothers. Co-sleeping and carrying babies is the norm.

We coslept from birth. No reason it should be seen as harmful or shameful provided you do it safely.

SingingMyOwnSpecialSong · 15/04/2016 00:28

I co-sleep with DD, me in a single bed, her in a side-carred ikea cot initially. Pillow well away from her, duvet waist height and wrapped around me, her in a sleeping bag. DH has major sleep issues, nightmares, etc so we hadn't shared a bed since before DD was conceived (amazing how many people struggle to get their heads around that).

DD did scare the life out of me once she started rolling and, checking on her through the evening, I found her upside down in the bed, head level with the edge of her cot a couple of times. If she had rolled the other way she could have could herself stuck and suffocated. We had intended putting her into her cot properly at that point, but co-sleeping was working really well for us so instead we moved to a double mattress on the floor with foam, wedge shaped bumpers right the way round, under the sheet. They have been great, bit of a pita to make the bed up, but solid enough to stop her rolling off in her sleep and the right shape to let her move away easily. She is 14-months now and has just started climbing on and off the bed, squishing the foam down, when fully awake.

If we have another baby I think I will probably start out with full on co-sleeping as I never found it comfortable to feed her laying down in the side-carred cot.

SingingMyOwnSpecialSong · 15/04/2016 00:45

Lazy I just googled gro bags for adults and found myself on an 'age play' site.

AThousandTears · 15/04/2016 09:53

In the pack I was given from the hospital 6 weeks ago when my DS was born, it said that women who co-sleep tend to breastfeed for longer. It then gave all the advice you are following.

Just don't tell your HV.

Also I just want to say congratulations. Do not feel guilty for any parenting decisions you make. There are always people who will tell you how they did it, doesn't make it right for you!

StarlingMurmuration · 15/04/2016 10:00

I always wonder how people manage to co sleep without getting cold. I can't sleep wearing clothes, I like to be naked and well wrapped up under the duvet.

witsender · 15/04/2016 10:04

I wore pjs, and a duvet. Had little one in the crook of my right arm (permanently, one or other still sleeps there now at nearly 6 and 4). When they were tiny, my arm went round the top of their head. As they grew, they used my arm as a pillow. The duvet would be tucked right under me at waist level, and I used a thin blanket if my top was cold.

As they got bigger I used a duvet as usual and just moved it if they needed to feed.

DownUnderBound · 15/04/2016 13:17

Best thing ever, just invest in a snuza go, little clip that goes on nappy, will sound an alarm is babies breathing slows down/stops. Peace of mind for you

Mousefinkle · 15/04/2016 13:25

I coslept with all of mine from birth. Actually with DC1 I was scared to do it at first because of the many horror stories I'd read and the strict advice from HV's and the hospital when he was born not to do it. But maybe two weeks in I was that exhausted I was falling asleep with him there anyway so figured it safer to just do it most of the time rather than passing out exhausted holding him or something... It was blissful and made my life so much easier!

Did it from day 1 with the other two. The youngest didn't sleep anywhere else until she was maybe 7 months old! I still wake up most mornings now with one of them there having crept in at some stage in the night. Don't mind at all, perfectly natural.

LittleLionMansMummy · 15/04/2016 13:33

Coslept until ds was around 12 weeks and comfortable in his moses basket. Best thing I ever did - we finally got some sleep! Like you I didn't want to admit to it and only ever told a few trusted people. Now pregnant with my second and will do it again in an instant and without guilt.

namelessboy · 15/04/2016 13:38

I've co-slept from birth with all three DC, it's marvellous You'll come across some judgemental people, but then I can't get my head around putting a tiny baby to sleep all alone in a separate cot/crib where they can't feel you're there, so meh, each to their own I say, do what works for you.

I think co-sleeping is a bit like homebirths, you also get a lot of judgemental ignorance on that topic.

CutYourHairAndGetAJob · 15/04/2016 19:53

DS was born in November and we slept in bed on some very cold nights, especially when our heating broke. He sleeps in a sleeping bag, I have the duvet up to my waist and tucked underneath me and a baggy cardigan on cold nights.

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