11 year old acting too old

[Rocco14]

My 11 year old daughter is very mature, both physically and mentally, she is on instagram and I've made sure her account is private and I'm added so I can see what she's posting, I'm not happy with her pouty pictures, one of them makes her look about 18, I don't want her to feel ashamed of her looks but don't know how to talk to her about it, I'm also worried about pics her friends have on there, one of her friends has a pic of her blowing up a condom, Aaarghhhhhh I don't know what to do! If I ban her from social media I'm going to turn her into that wierd kid who didn't have a telly at home, help!!!!

Thanks lala. Dd's school have some info on their website about various different types of social media. Instagram, snapchat etc. But nothing about whatsapp, so I wondered if it causes less problems so they didn't include it. Interesting to know that isn't the case. Thanks

The only way they prove themselves responsible is by being guided. If parents choose not to let their dc go on social media that is of course up to them, but ime it is much easier to monitor and guide when they are 11 and 12.

Very true! I teach teens, and the lengths they go to to deceive their parents can be shocking at times. By 13, they know it all and don't listen - hence I went down the "you can have it in year 6, but until you prove you're sensible with it, it's logged onto my phone" route.

I'm also lucky that the students I teach also tell me all the tricks that teenagers do, so I keep one step ahead of DD. Poor child hasn't got a chance. .

But I don't understand why parents are ok with children lying about their date of birth, surely thats a rocky road?

You don't on Instagram. I set up my daughter's account and never put her age in at all. It's there somewhere in the small print I believe, but it's not like Facebook.

There are plenty of risks, like this one, that all the social media education in the world won't help.

That's my point though. They are not as well educated as we assume. The possibility of a picture being tagged and showing up on a name search hadn't occurred to her - she hadn't thought beyond her own use of social media.

Most went away deciding that they would regularly Google their name, and certainly ramp up the monitoring when they are applying for jobs. We also had an interesting discussion about how to deal with a situation where someone has posted an unflattering picture of you on social media.