AIBU not to know how to dress in my 40s any more?

[whippetwoman]

I’ve had a self-imposed clothes-buying ban for a good few months now so I am definitely out of the loop. Because of this I haven’t been clothes shopping for a while but I have also realised I’m not too happy with my existing clothes because they just don’t look right. I don’t know where to shop or what to buy!
Having a baby at 40 didn’t help as before I did look a tad younger than I was, but now at 44, I absolutely look 44, maybe older with the often-interrupted sleep, older children, dog, cats, work….

I am taking my older two to see Muse on Friday night and have literally no idea what to wear and this has sparked the feeling that I genuinely don’t know what to wear in any situation.

This isn’t a judgey thing. I don’t care what others wear and have never been into fashion, and I haven’t really cared about myself either until I thought, oh hang on, I have no idea what to wear. I normally wear dresses from Oasis over skinny jeans/leggings but I think I’m too old to pull it off now. Or not?!

Apologies if this is better off in Style and Beauty. I had a nose there but couldn't find anything. AIBU unreasonable to find this difficult? Where do people shop?

Definitely not too old for that look!

Although, I clicked on your thread, because I feel an absolute state, so may not be the best person

Thanks Bastard! I do feel like an old knacker now though.

Sounds like a great outfit to me and I am 49.

I wear that kind of thing and I am significantly older than you.

Ah, thanks guys. This is reassuring. I just had a moment of self-doubt there. Where do you shop for clothes? I looked on the M&S website but it wasn't great to be honest.

Most people wear that kind of thing, OP. I wouldn't worry.

Sounds fine to me too Whippet

I recently bought this from French Connection and wear it over painted jeggings from H&M like these

I feel fab in it!

I love Joe Browns, have you ever looked at their stuff? They do online.

(I'm too fat to wear the clothes I love, so am refusing to buy anything remotely nice)

Hello Wilting
I like your suggestions!

I will look at Joe Browns as I have never heard of it before.

Sounds ok to me op. I'm 43 and wear similar. I've had more than one woman in her twenties compliment me on my style recently as an older woman. I think I'm ok with that .

Today I'm wearing skinny blue jeggings, black and white stripe tunic dress over the top, tan Chelsea boots, beige trench and tan woven across body bag. I've got a big floral scarf too. I still like scarves even though some find them frumpsville, I think it's how you wear them.

I very rarely find anything I like in M&S now. If I had the money and was thinner I would still be shopping at Oasis :). I like stuff from Next, River Island, H&M. But finances mean I mostly shop Tu (cough Sainsburys).

I am 41 OP. I shop at Zara, Ted Baker, Jigsaw, Karen Millen.

I would definitely avoid M&S I don't think they every get it quite right and you can end up looking frumpy.

I don't think you are too old to pull off that look at all.

What I do find though as I get older is cheaper clothes can be a bit less forgiving, so where possible I try to buy less but buy better quality if I can. Or go for more expensive accessories.

Zara is not expensive though and you can get lots of great basics in there, knitwear for £20 and smart trousers for £30 and then just add in a more expensive belt or bag.

Joe Browns is like Per Una on crack. Waaay garish! Sorry.

I like Joe Browns!

Me too! I'm not even sure what per una on crack would look like!

I'm 45 and I wear that sort of thing. At a concert I would probably wear skinny jeans and a tunic type top with a leather jacket, boots or converse. I know what you mean, sometimes I feel like an old student. If I get stresses about clothes I always look at the French style for inspiration and keep it simple i.e skinny jeans or narrow trousers, ballet pumps, a stripe top and a mac always look good especially with sunglasses and a nice hand bag. Check out La Redoute.

Ida, good idea. Should try Zara actually. Will need to make a trip beyond the local shops to do that.

My last few purchases which i got last year were from TU Nynaeve because places like Oasis are pricey. Some good suggestions here. Thank you. Maybe just a small number of better quality things.

I'm with tanfastic on scarves.Definitely got more of them since turning 40 and they really can make an outfit. Don't wear them like your mum did though!

Lol, Per Una on crack would look like Joe Browns.

Sorry just too fancy and busy for me.

thebestfur that is exactly what I will be wearing and not at all hoping to catch the eye of Matthew Bellamy despite being there with my children, oh no not me

I know how you feel, I'm the same age and I think I dress too frumpy but I really don't want to look like mutton dressed as lamb. I like fur chinchillas suggestion of including a leather jacket (that's because I have one, but even in that I feel like I'm trying to look like a rock chick, but not quite making the mark.). I do have this "gift" though, whereby I don't really care what I look like once I'm out of the house, because I'm too busy enjoying myself, it's just getting past the bedroom mirror and gaining my teenagers approval.Have a great night, I bet you look fabulous.

How do you wear scarves not like your mum, please?

I also had difficulty finding a new style after 40, I lived in jeans for years but just felt really dull, old and uncomfortable in them after DD was born. Now I wear dresses over leggings/skinnies a lot and feel more happy with my look.

On MN dress-over-leggings seems to be considered awful and frumpy but in real life I have been complemented several times by people who are quite fashionable, so meh.

At a gig I would wear skinny jeans, t shirt, leather jacket and boots. Same thing I was wearing to gigs 20 years ago

Have a look at Mint Velvet, it does lovely layered tops that go perfectly with skinny jeans and boots and are exceedingly kind to the waistline.