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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To charge or not to charge that is the question

98 replies

Catvsworld · 13/04/2016 07:03

We're off on Hoilday soon as many are and have told my older son her can bring two friends (he's a teenager)

The ferry is the same price no matter the number of people however there will be food and outings costs and one of his friends only eats halal meat so

Should I ask for some money to cover the cost of the food for the week as I will be cooking for eveyone every day

My friend says not as I invited them however this is a Hoilday not a day out and I would full expect to pay for food and travel if my don was invited abroad

OP posts:
Original poster
Catvsworld · 13/04/2016 07:03

I was thinking about £30- 45 pounds each for the week aibu

OP posts:
curren · 13/04/2016 07:07

Have you already invited them?

Thisisnotausername · 13/04/2016 07:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoggieMaeEverso · 13/04/2016 07:09

If you're inviting them I would expect you to pay for meals, unless you really can't afford it (in which case don't invite them). They should bring spending money. But I think it would be bad manners to charge them, sorry!

CrazyDuchess · 13/04/2016 07:10

I think if you was going to charge, like PP it should have been made clear before DS told his mates.

How old are they??

EponasWildDaughter · 13/04/2016 07:12

I've done this in the past and asking for a little towards costs came with the invite. Everything was fine.

Thinking about it i don't think the parents of the friend would have had it any other way.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 07:18

You can't invite them then say you want money.

MyNewBearTotoro · 13/04/2016 07:19

I don't think you can ask for money unless it was clear you'd expect them to cover costs when inviting them.

How old are the teens? Do you know anything about their financial situations at home? If they are in their late teens and have some degree of financial independence I might expect them to offer to cover some costs but if they are younger teens they may have no ability to do so. If they're young their families might offer to contribute if they can afford to but it could be they can't.

To be honest if you invite teens on holiday with you I think you have to expect to cover all food/ accommodation/ transport or family day-out costs as you would your son. Any of these costs they offer to cover I'd see as a bonus. I wouldn't expect to cover extras such as extra drinks, snacks or non-family activities and would expect them to bring some spending money.

voodoolooloo · 13/04/2016 07:22

I think it's too late to ask now, sorry.
As a parent though I would always offer is someone was mad kind enough to take my kids on holidays.

fastdaytears · 13/04/2016 07:23

They should definitely bring spending money, but I can't see that you can ask for a contribution towards meals if you didn't bring it up when they were invited.

voodoolooloo · 13/04/2016 07:23

I think it's too late to ask now, sorry.
As a parent though I would always offer is someone was mad kind enough to take my kids on holidays.

JapanNextYear · 13/04/2016 07:33

These threads are mad! If your teenager was invited on holiday, who wouldn't ring the parents doing the inviting and say, how much do you want for keep for the week? Or I'd totally expect a text saying £50 should cover it for the week here's my bank details.

newmumwithquestions · 13/04/2016 07:35

My DC are much younger so I don't know what the the usual is here but I can't believe they haven't offered! I would have thought that a contribution towards food and days out (to the parent) and then making sure the child had money for extras they might buy would be standard.
Have you only just asked them, and through your DS? If so you could do a phone call to parents to talk about arrangements when you can bring money up, but if you have already talked to them and arranged it a while ago then I agree it's difficult to bring up now.

Marilynsbigsister · 13/04/2016 07:36

Absolutely agree. This is a very fast way to fall out with people. You have no idea about their financial situation, so you must be upfront about any costs attached to an invite as it may make all the difference between child being allowed to go or not....OR ... Put parents in the position of not wanting to disappoint their child who they have already agreed can go but not be in the position to pay for.

My dd was 'invited' to go on holiday to Spain a few years ago with her friend and family. I agreed and asked what the cost was. I was told, 'oh don't worry about it, just give us a contribution to the journey. I'll let you know when we are back'... Yes, you've guessed it. They divided everything by five. Instead of their four.. Ferry (although 4 or 5 was no additional cost.) Petrol to Spain (again no extra cost with one extra 9yr old in the car) Hotel, (Kids had a room with two double beds in..) Food (agreed there was an additional cost) and all outings.
The father presented me with an itemised 'invoice' for £420. ! If this had been known before, I would never have agreed and a lesson to myself to not agree to paying unidentified amounts 'later'. To add insult to injury the family aren't just well off. They are very wealthy,

No one will mind if you are up front. They can then make an informed decision with all the facts.

sooperdooper · 13/04/2016 07:40

Surely and right minded person would expect to contribute - you can't expect someone to take your teenager on holiday and not pay a penny towards food at least! I think you should ask for £50 each to cover costs, plus they bring spending money, it's not too late to ask at all and ridiculous to suggest you should pay to feed them all week

JeanGenie23 · 13/04/2016 07:42

They should offer, it's too late to ask now really. Quite frankly I am surprised you want to take so many teenagers along to your holiday!!!

leelu66 · 13/04/2016 07:50

If money is tight, I would ask for the £50. The parents are getting rid of their teen for a week for £50, that's a bargain.

Are they bringing pocket money? There are going to be other costs too presumably.

With the lad that eats halal, that shouldn't be a problem, if you cook veg and fish dishes.

RidersOnTheStorm · 13/04/2016 07:53

Too late to ask now.

Marilynsbigsister · 13/04/2016 07:54

Agreed that most 'right minded people' should offer (and probably will) ,absolutely disagree that you can still ask now. Puts friend and parents in difficult position of coughing up or turning down invite. (Which is a bit blackmailey...) Suck it up this time, hope they are decent people who offer and next time make sure the conditions of the invite are clear at the start. No one will mind !

Thisisnotausername · 13/04/2016 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OliviaStabler · 13/04/2016 08:09

If you have invited them and they have accepted but you've made no mention of charging them, then it is far too late to ask now. You should have thought of that earlier.

curren · 13/04/2016 08:11

I would offer if someone was taking my kids away.

But I do think you need to ask, if you really need them to contribute when you invite them.

If you have already invited and Then Spring this on them. I think that's unfair.

Silvercatowner · 13/04/2016 08:14

What if they say 'really sorry I can't afford it' - how awful would that be (for someone on a very tight budget the difference between what is being suggested and their actual food shop may be huge).

firesidechat · 13/04/2016 08:24

There is no way that I would allow someone to take my child away on holiday and not give them money for food and activities at the very least. Some people are so rude.

firesidechat · 13/04/2016 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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