to be cross that dd is repeatedly hurt under cm care

[wheresthel1ght]

Dd's cm is lovely. She is very sweet, buys the kids birthday/Christmas/Easter etc and is brilliant with endless activities, days out, toddler groups, parks, play enter, city farms etc.

However, yet again I have had to sign the incident book tonight because the same little girl has again hurt dd. This child is about 5 months younger than dd, a lot less verbal but seems to have real problems with sharing. Dd has an inch long scar by her eye where this child scratched her because dd had the toy she wanted, she has hit her, kicked her and other general toddler stuff. I have overlooked all of it and shrugged it off as kids being kids.

Tonight however I have collected dd and had to sign again because this other little girl has bitten dd. This happened about 1230, I collected dd at 230 and it was still bright red, as if just done, so it must have been one hell of a bite. In this instance the cm told me dd had wanted the toy that the other girl had and tried to snatch it, rather than say no the other girl has bitten dd. This is the first time cm has said that dd's actions have caused he response. Normally she is completely faultless which is a surprise cos she can be a swine at home

I know cm cannot watch every last second and I have told dd off for snatching but I am starting to get really cross that dd is being hurt. The scar is very noticeable and dd is still upset by it as she will see it in the mirror and get upset saying "X scratched me mummy"

Wibu to explain to the cm at I am getting quite cross about this behaviour from the other girl and that if something isn't resolved I will have to look for alternative childcare?

A couple of points;

The cm should not have disclosed to you who had caused the injury to your dd.
Cm SHOULD have recorded it in the incident book and recorded your concerns and be working in line with her policy's and procedures on Child Protection.
Each child should have an individual care plan and things like this should be included and how to manage avoiding repeats.

' Sharing' - I may be flawed got this as it seems all toddlers playing happily with a toy of their choosing are always expected to 'share' I'd give it to the child who comes over wanting to play with it. That to me is not sharing. The wanting child should be asked to wait by the care giver then take turns or whatever.

It sounds to me like your dd is often trying to take whatever toy X is playing with and THAT is the trigger to her being hurt.

There are behaviours for both sets of parents to be working on imo.

• flamed on not flawed got!!

True. It's probably better to think of 'sharing' as 'turn taking' & to encourage waiting & handing over. I once chose a school based on what they told me about their approach to turn taking. One said 'at playtime they all rush out here & fight over who gets the swings' and the other said 'they all like riding the cars at break time so we use that time to teach waiting' (then gave details of how they did that). Guess which school we chose ;)