To call up maternity unit and let them hear the meltdown they've just caused my wife.

[MissusWrex]

Ok well I wouldn't really do that but am feeling very angry right now.

This is my other half's account. She has autism spectrum disorder and dyspraxia.

We had a cesarean section booked for this Thursday. This morning we recieved a call asking us if we could move it up to tomorrow.

We had a discussion about it, checked whether we could change childcare etc. and my wife agreed after she'd worked it through in her head.

We got everything packed and ready. Sat down five minutes ago and received another phone call.

Our appointment had to get changed to Friday. We were given no choice about this, couldn't change back to our original date. Just a sorry, it's got to be Friday now.

We can't get childcare for Friday though I appreciate this isn't the hospitals problem.

What I am very angry about though is that now my heavily pregnant wife is having the mother of all meltdowns upstairs. She is screaming, banging around and I'm just praying she isn't hurting herself. I can't restrain her obviously and she is immensely strong during these episodes which are actually exceptionally rare these days.

It has been a difficult and complicated pregnancy.

AIBU in thinking that maybe they should have just given a little extra consideration given her disability and not changed dates twice in the space of a few hours?

Should I call PALS, I just want to let someone know what this has caused.

The hospital hasn't just caused your wife's meltdown, her autism has. It must be so hard for her, and you, but in this instance I really don't think it's the hospitals fault, and it certainly doesn't help your wife to frame it as such, maternity units are fast paced, chaotic places at times, even more so with all the cuts they face, and sometimes there are highly stressful consequences. Maybe she's the one getting bumped because some of the other sections have serious obstetric implications if they are delayed - maybe there's a conflict between her 'special case' and these equally special cases. Maybe this was the least worst option. There's very little you can do to rationally console her however.

Have you considered the possibility that there might be a very good reason for the change in dates?

It is a hospital. Appointments are subject to emergencies rather than binding promises cast in stone.

I understand that your DW is upset and you could send them an email to explain the consequences of their repeated rescheduling, but YABU to expect an apology.

Can I ask though what would happen if they flagged us up as an 'issue'?
They don't do this, so don't even worry about it. I think it was a little irresponsible of a pp to suggest that.
The hospital I worked at (although I appreciate different hospitals may work differently) would not have recorded any information about your wife's ASD or dyspraxia on the booking list for her section (unless the section was directly related to this) so they may not even know before they phoned you. It would be unlikely that they would access your entire medical record for a change of dates if the reason for the ELCS was clear.
Were you planning on doing all the childcare on Friday and not visiting, or bringing your daughter in for a short visit?

You really do have my sympathy, but I think some advice given on this thread clearly shows that the posters have no experience working in this area and have slightly unrealistic expectations /beliefs about the system.

Yes, I agree that you should call back as this is a reasonable adjustment to make for your wife. I had a similar situation and I made them agree to the date ( I don't have ASD, but my dd does and I appreciate the situation this must have caused). I had previously lost a baby and reacted in much the same way when my section was changed last minute.

I appreciate last minute surgical lists being changed. I have had 4 cerclages and my surgery was always amended, but this last change was more than I could have coped with.

Sorry about the flagged to social comment, this was my take on what someone meant by their comment, not from any knowledge of their procedures.

The hospital I worked at (although I appreciate different hospitals may work differently) would not have recorded any information about your wife's ASD or dyspraxia on the booking list for her section (unless the section was directly related to this) so they may not even know before they phoned you

I would have thought that including this information on the booking list is the very least a hospital could be expected to do by way of a reasonable adjustment for her disability. I appreciate that there may well be circumstances arising which mean there's not much they can do to avoid changing arrangements, but they should make people aware that last minute changes are to be avoided wherever possible; they should think about the best way to deal with informing her about such changes; and if they do have to make changes, they should be absolutely sure about what they are, so as to avoid having too many changes within a short space of time. Unfortunately, the fact that the booking section is short staffed is not a defence in law to a claim for disability discrimination.

Hi, sorry they can flag you up as an issue just for being on the A spectrum, most do have an understanding, but like anything there is always one idiot who just doesn't get it, and try to turn it into something it is not.

Don't worry, present a united calm front,

Hospital lists can be chilling to be on, and they will always bump you down if there is anyone more urgent, nothing you say will change that,

Unfortunately some unscrupulous people have manipulated hospitals using the A word, so they tend to not respond positively, there is little training on the subject outside the specialist areas, your best bet is to try and control what you can, and try to prepare yourselves for a bumpy journey,

call in all the favours you can with regards to child care, and try to roll with the punches.

a legal claim for disability discrimination? Because of unavoidable changes in elective surgery timings?
Don't be so OTT.

I'm not saying anyone would or should make a claim, but irrespective of that hospitals, like everyone else, have a duty to obey the Equality Act and being understaffed isn't an excuse for failing to do so.

I would have thought that including this information on the booking list is the very least a hospital could be expected to do by way of a reasonable adjustment for her disability

I think there's two separate issues here. I think you're right in saying that reasonable adjustments cloths be made for her.

It might be right to say that her ASD should be included on the list (which is usually name, hospital ID number, gravidity, parity, reason for section, other risk factors) but I'm not sure it would be included at my hospital. Possibly should be.

Unless I've missed an update, where does it say this is due to a staffing issue??

"hospitals, like everyone else, have a duty to obey the Equality Act"

What on God's green Earth does rescheduling an elCS have to do with the Equality Act?

Do you have a specialist midwife supporting your wife? Someone who understands how she reacts and how she and you manage her condition?

If so it might be sensible to have a word with that midwife and explain what's happened as they might be able to help access different support and services.

I would also contact the Supervisor of Midwives at the hospital and explain calmly what has happened and the impact that it has had and ask how they might be able to support your wife on the day she goes in for her section. They might be able to ensure she has the same midwife from admission through to post natal and her transfer to post natal is handled with gentler introductions to a specific person on duty for each shift post-natally.

If there's no childcare option for your DD is there anyone who your wife could cope with having as a birthing partner apart from you whilst you stay with your DD? I realise that's a big ask and it may not be possible

Cote, it's explained above: the duty was to make reasonable adjustments.

I can imagine the only reason to change a scheduled c section date is because they are having to do an emergency section that has to take priority. Go and be with your wife and help he regain some control over how she's feeling (you know her better than I do so will know how you can best help her) but complaining to a hospital when they are already incredibly overstretched over an issue that realistically is out of everyone's control is definitely not the way forward

I have no practical advise but just wanted to give you and your dw . I remember being on continuous monitouring waiting to have a section with my son as we were both ill. even though I was next to the theatre in the close observation bay it got put back for 2 days trying to get a nicu bed then women in labour needing emcs.
I agree that they should have realised how this would effect your wife and if it was her consultant who made the first call then he must know about her asd.

Expecting a hospital not to reschedule an elective operation is not a "reasonable adjustment". It is a hospital, not a hairdresser. Appointments are subject to change depending on emergencies. You can't expect the hospital to keep the date of OP's DW's elective CS if that will mean life-or-death to someone else, just because it might cause upset.

Cote, neither I nor anyone else is suggesting that reasonable adjustments would involve a guarantee that an elective operation would not be rescheduled. Do read what's been said about reasonable adjustments before going off at the deep end.

We also don't know why the OP's DW is having a planned CS. Perhaps it is also connected with her additional needs, the ability to plan, to be in control etc. So the hospital may be jeopardising the reasonable adjustments they have already made to support her in childbirth. There may be a bigger picture which we don't know about.

All else aside, it's pretty shit that the original date has gone, isn't it?

It does mwke you wonder if tomorrow's date should never have been offered?

I do appreciate that there are emergencies etc. and that the date wasn't iron clad. We did a lot of discussion around this.

It was the quick succession of changes in s couple of hours that I felt could have been better managed. If they had called at the end of the day and said 'Friday' it would have avoided this.

Thank you for all your replies and My partner is now sat with a cup of tea downstairs so very glad it wasn't worse.

Actually you should complain.

They should be aware that your wife is autistic. It is a special need. They should be aware for future that whilst some patients can cope with changes, some women just can't cope with things that cause they anxiety.

Your wife's health INCLUDES mental health. Their poor administration has had a negative impact on your wife's health and actually that is not in any way acceptable as it was completely avoidable.

Unless someone makes complaints like this, hospitals will not know for future and won't improve care.

DH made a complaint about a midwife's home visit which left me in tears because of her poor attitude. It was a positive thing and change their protocol on dealing women with anxiety.

Its a vulnerable time for women and hospitals should be doing a lot more across the board to improve services related to mental health and special needs.

Indeed a lot of the Maternity Review published earlier this year focused on poor provision and performance in this area. Its a good time to flag up issues of this nature for this reason.

Just keep calm, be factual and explain why this is an issue and why they need to be more aware of the problem rather than getting upset and stamping your feet about it. As other have said there probably isn't a lot they can do for your wifes situation but there is lots they can do for the future.

It's really hard to have got yourself psyched up for the CS on a specific day and I imagine very hard to have to try get your heads round it having being moved. Even more so for your DW. Added on top of it all you have childcare arrangements to factor in.

I know you must both be reeling from the rapid changes in dates but doubt there is anything the hospital could have done about it. There are so many factors that can result in lists being cancelled/re-arranged and they are nearly always unavoidable. Sickness, bereavement, emergencies, staffing issues, technical problems - all sorts of things.
Best wishes for Friday

Redtoothbrush yes I think I will contact PALS later on down the line.

Make it about how they handled the situation rather than the fact they cancelled.

How can they make it easier for women who do find it more difficult to cope? Explain how one change of date was ok for these reasons but the second was not for these reasons.

That's the type of thing you should discuss.

Its about how they deal with special needs rather than the cancellation itself, which might have been unavoidable.