Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask why you go to work

481 replies

IamthepermedowlofVeronica · 10/04/2016 22:10

Try to be brief but thorough....
Due back from 1 years maternity at the beginning of June. Hate job, don't want to go back. Have had offer of temporary ad hoc work between June and start of summer hols.
Wondered how much job seekers is whilst I apply and interview over summer hols. Did the online calculator tangy: If I work current hours and pay childcare I would earn £6 less than if I signed on job seekers.
So why should I go to work (no career, just a money earning job) and how does signing on work? Has anyone found it detrimental to confidence etc?
Hopefully I'll get another cash earning job in September or,something when ds will be 15 months

OP posts:
Piemernator · 11/04/2016 17:57

Anyone who deliberately puts themselves in a vulnerable financial position is an idiot quite frankly. People with your attitude give the right wing press a reason to criticise the welfare system in this country.

mollie123 · 11/04/2016 17:58

I've worked all my life in one job or another since I was 17 and I'm 36 now.
is that counting the time you were on maternity leave(s) or until your eldest was 3
such hardship when most of us work for at least 40 years Shock (that is nearer 'all my life')

whois · 11/04/2016 18:01

Anyone who deliberately puts themselves in a vulnerable financial position is an idiot

Especially now with further austerity, I can't see why people would choose the uncertainty of benefits for their children :-(

Sunshowercap · 11/04/2016 18:02

I strongly believe that the social welfare state safety net should be there for when people need it not because they want a couple of years off work or don't like the idea of using paid childcare

I agree. Having children is a choice. If your life circumstances don't enable you to do it, then I don't think it's up to the tax-payer funded benefits system to enable anyone to do that.

I would rather ensure safe comfortable nursing homes for the elderly, or hip replacements for those in pain. Or those with disabilities to be enabled to work, or live in dignity if they're unable to work. Or to have schools which are sae & properly built. The list goes on ...

But I don't think that list should encompass supporting those who deliberately set out to use benefits to fund a lifestyle choice, if they have alternative choices to make.

Because, sadly given the godawful, cheating government we currently have, the vulnerable will keep on becoming more vulnerable. And the rhetoric of deliberate "benefit shopping" such as deliberately having children on JSA gives those who are on benefits out of necessity more trouble than they should have to face.

bloodyteenagers · 11/04/2016 18:06

I never understand why people through in the argument about working all their adult life, therefore deserve benefits.

It's not a pay in system where you can
Take out at a later date. If you want a system like this, there's this fab thing called
Savings.

The whole paid in argument makes no sense. Yes you may have paid in, but realistically how much? To cover a month of benefits? But then what about the non obvious things like the medical treatment. Then education.

You see how the I've paid in argument
Is seriously flawed?

Jw35 · 11/04/2016 18:17

Actually bloodyteenagers everyone who needs benefits can claim them. I'm not making a case for it just pointing out I have no intention of staying in benefits long term. Having a baby is a perfectly valid reason for claiming benefit. We don't live in a country where you have to work while bringing up a child under school age. It's ironic that there's so many things that are a choice that people wouldn't dream of judging others on but where benefits are concerned it's like a free for all. The current law supports my decision to stay at home with my children. You can disagree with it but some of the comments on here are downright rude and judgy. Whatever though. I'm happy with my choice. Personally I disagree with using nurseries but I wouldn't dream of questioning your parenting skills, it's up to you to do what you think it's best!

Sunshowercap · 11/04/2016 18:20

Actuarially speaking, I gather that anyone with children in this country is in nett debt to the state, with medical/health benefits, education, child benefit, parental leave, etc etc.

Anyone without children is a nett contributor, although if they live long enough, they'll about break even if they need end of life care.

So the "I paid in to the benefits system" doesn't quite work ... but I suppose the sense of "paying in" is important to those of us who pay tax and NI - an acknowlegement of our contribution to all the things we rely on for a civil society: law & order, good education, safe & usable roads and public transport systems, assurance of uncontaminated water & food - and so on ... (it's not just the benefits system we "pay into").

So I suppose for me, someone choosing deliberately not to contribute to all of this feels a bit unethical.

Jw35 · 11/04/2016 18:23

Unethical blimey! Confused

Thisisnotausername · 11/04/2016 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddSocksHighHeels · 11/04/2016 18:40

Have we got SAHM bashing, WOHM bashing and benefit bashing all in one thread? Must be some kind ofacheivement!

Seriously, I stand by not willingly going on JSA. It's awful. I've been tempted to go back to sleeping on the streets to not have to deal with it, the only reason I haven't is because I have interviews and can see an end in sight. It really is soul-destroying and makes you feel like scum. If you need to claim then, obviously, do but this is not an easy option.

LittleMisslovesspiders · 11/04/2016 18:42

Have we got SAHM bashing, WOHM bashing and benefit bashing all in one thread? Must be some kind ofacheivement!

I think you're right Wink

LittleMisslovesspiders · 11/04/2016 18:44

We don't live in a country where you have to work while bringing up a child under school age.

I thought this was actually changing to those under 3.

OddSocksHighHeels · 11/04/2016 18:44

Little I don't think I've seen it before Wink surely we can all unite on that?

museumum · 11/04/2016 18:46

I haven't read the whole thread so lynch me but I worked hard to settle my ds in childcare and think one of the worst arrangements would be to settle them for temporary work then take them out then put them back in.
Kids adapt to new routines but it's an effort each time. When your child is settled in childcare it's so much better for everyone not to swap and change.

minnymoobear · 11/04/2016 18:48

I gave up work after our first of 3Dcs was born and found around having the kids set up a business to let me work around them- didn't make much money but enough to keep me sane, get me talking to people - worked my work around DHs shift work which helped!
Then did a lower paid PT job that was school hours for 2 years when youngest started school

Been back at full time 'proper' work for 2 years and love it for the social element, getting to use my skills, the people and growth I get as a person from my job.
I do feel lucky as I live my work, and now DH is the self employed one so does most of the after school stuff with kids.

EddieStobbart · 11/04/2016 18:53

I don't, am seven days into redundancy. DCs are 9 and 6 and always worked full time up to now so picking them up at the end of school was really weird. They've told me they don't care whether they go to afterschool club or not and we still don't seem to have any time for play dates which was my justification for taking a bit of time off so might have to revise my plans.

Jw35 · 11/04/2016 18:55

Choosing to have children via a sperm donor and then refusing to work? I've seen it all now

I couldn't give a toss what you think but I just want to add that I'm blissfully happy with my life. I came on to advice the op and had plenty of snotty opinions about my choices. Whatever. I don't know anything about your life decisions so can't know what makes you tick. Have fun taking the piss. I'm off now Smile

OddSocksHighHeels · 11/04/2016 19:00

museum I settled DD in childcare, me and ex split so meant more changes (two lots of changes to her - childcare times plus one parent not in the home) and worked a job where my shifts changed every week. Children adapt really well, she's one of the sweetest and happiest little girls you will ever meet. Change has to happen sometimes, the children will probably adapt quicker than their parents learn to not feel guilt.

SAHM, WAHM, WOHM, whatever else - it is all ok. You have done nothing wrong in choosing what you chose. People need to respect other decisions more not oneof these is bad/harmful/whatever. We do what we think is best. Our children will be fine.

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 11/04/2016 19:04

I couldn't give a toss what you think but I just want to add that I'm blissfully happy with my life

Of course you are, you're having the life you want without having to work for it. Imagine if we all tried to do that? Wouldn't work, someone has to work to pay for the taxes to spend on the likes of you.

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 11/04/2016 19:04

I couldn't give a toss what you think but I just want to add that I'm blissfully happy with my life

Of course you are, you're having the life you want without having to work for it. Imagine if we all tried to do that? Wouldn't work, someone has to work to pay for the taxes to spend on the likes of you.

septembersunshine · 11/04/2016 19:05

After I go on maternity leave I'm returning to work. I don't really enjoy it but I don't hate it. The worse thing about it is sitting in my office (which is tiny) and I don't get on that well with my boss. I do prefer my own company. I'm going back so that we can get a mortgage on our house one day (it's a council house but we hope to buy it in the future). If I don't work it would just be on DH salary and he's self-employed. Without my working we could never afford to buy in our area or anywhere close.

Also, I have found out that if you don't work then your world gets a bit smaller. When you are working you don't know who you might meet or what doors may open for you in the future...

twelly · 11/04/2016 19:19

The benefits are there for those who need them. It is fair that if you do not work, are able to work and are genuinely seeking work you are able to apply and receive benefits. I think if a child is under one that is different. I agree that there does mean that those with no form of private support should seek work. I think that if as a family you decide that one person is to stay at home and make the decision which will affect income that is no one else's business if no benefits are received.

aliceinwanderland · 11/04/2016 19:24

Actually I don't want child bearing and raising to be the preserve of those who can either enormous childcare costs themselves or are supported by partners who can afford to have one parent stay at home. Why shouldnt parents be supported financially while their children are small. Especially as we have such ridiculous childcare costs that it costs some women to go to work. These children are future tax payers whose taxes will pay for all our pensions in time.

Underparmummy · 11/04/2016 19:28

I didn't like the sahm gig. I work family friendly hours now and have a day a week off. I can't imagine not working, my self esteem is quite dependant on it I discovered during my sahm attempts.

I have marketable skills and experience and currently work with dh running our own company though (does mean I have to be prepared to be on my phone when at home though, never officially off duty).

Both of us working makes our financial situation good which feels right for our family too.

wannabestressfree · 11/04/2016 19:28

Sorry but I think actively getting yourself knocked up by donated sperm whilst having no intention of paying for them yourself is morally wrong...that is not the point of the benefit system.

Swipe left for the next trending thread