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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask why you go to work

481 replies

IamthepermedowlofVeronica · 10/04/2016 22:10

Try to be brief but thorough....
Due back from 1 years maternity at the beginning of June. Hate job, don't want to go back. Have had offer of temporary ad hoc work between June and start of summer hols.
Wondered how much job seekers is whilst I apply and interview over summer hols. Did the online calculator tangy: If I work current hours and pay childcare I would earn £6 less than if I signed on job seekers.
So why should I go to work (no career, just a money earning job) and how does signing on work? Has anyone found it detrimental to confidence etc?
Hopefully I'll get another cash earning job in September or,something when ds will be 15 months

OP posts:

Obs2016 · 11/04/2016 13:31

Surprised no one asked Jw why she had children if she couldn't afford to raise them. That's the standard question.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 11/04/2016 13:36

I work to pay bills (and to pay for people like you to choose not to work it seems)

whois · 11/04/2016 13:39

Surprised no one asked Jw why she had children if she couldn't afford to raise them

Because it's obvious she had children because she wanted them and not for any other reason? Which is the usual irresponsible reason for people having children when society might consider it better if they didn't.

flirtygirl · 11/04/2016 13:42

When i posted i assumed op was a lone parent as she had not mentioned a partner but if you have a partner they should support you if able to be able to stay at home if thats whats you choose.

If you are entitled to benefits then it will be contribution based jsa but if your partner earns over the threshold, you will be entitled to nothing.

Go to cab and get a benefit calculator as it may be feasible for you to stay at home with wftc and your partners income this is a choice many families make.

You mentioned jobseeking so it doesnt sound like you plan to stay at home for long but that you plan to seek a job that suits you better

People have bashed you op without reading the whole thread it seems but you have been asking for advice as much as anything so good luck.

flirtygirl · 11/04/2016 13:47

JW may well have been able to afford children when she had them, divorce, breavement and other reasons happens to many NOW claiming benefits and staying at home to look after their children. We should not penalise those without patners anymore than we should the sahm with a wealthy partner.

DotForShort · 11/04/2016 13:52

I work because I have got used to sleeping indoors and eating on a regular basis. I am fortunate enough to have a career I love, that I put many years into preparing for and developing. In addition, it is very important for me to contribute financially to our family. My mother was a SAHM when I was young and she was entirely ill-suited to that role, bless her. It isn't something I would ever want to attempt.

Disclaimer: I do not currently live in the UK. Where I live there are no lengthy maternity leaves or much in the way of a social safety net. So I have no idea about the ins and outs of JSA.

HarlotBronte · 11/04/2016 14:11

JW has obviously been a ballbag on this thread, and some acknowledgment of the fact that she might not be able to do what she does if we all decided to go down that road might have been nice. Or at the very least, not active goading from her. However, the fact remains that we as a society don't require the wage labour of all adult members. And not all SAHPs would be able to be net contributors anyway. I'd still support their right to work, but it's not a moral imperative.

Sunshowercap · 11/04/2016 14:24

some acknowledgment of the fact that she might not be able to do what she does if we all decided to go down that road might have been nice

Precisely.

Sunshowercap · 11/04/2016 14:34

Stop shaming people who claim, I hope you never fall on hard times and have to rely on the system

Thing is, there's a big difference between falling on hard times & needing the safety net of the welfare system. That's what we all need, without question.

But then there's deciding you don't like your job, and giving it up to go on benefits. That we all don't need.

I'm as pinko as they come, would never vote Tory even if you paid me, but I think the attitude in the first post is really problematic. Lots of people work hard at jobs they either don't care about, or don't like. But they have to keep a roof over their family's heads, and food to eat, shoes to wear, and so on. Lots of people limit their family size to what they can afford, and don't expect the state to step in to support their desire to have a child. We've enough people in the world; most people have children for self-centred reasons. Fine - but there's a limit to how much other people can be expected to pay for your choices.

NewLife4Me · 11/04/2016 14:43

There are some really stupid responses to folks here.
You might not like it that people choose not to work and receive benefits, but it's hardly cheating the system by claiming what you are entitled to.

Also some stupid people can't see that for some it isn't worth working if it actually costs you more to work than it does not to work.
If you choose to work that's fine, but don't judge others who choose not to.
We aren't all career minded working in professions where you gain promotion and it makes it worth while sucking up the childcare costs. Some wll never make more than min wage and for them it isn't worth it.
If tax credits/ UC pay for this, so bloody what.
Lots of jealousy on here, noticeably lots more since tax credit cut off was lowered and cb means tested.

HarlotBronte · 11/04/2016 14:48

I'm not sure I'd use the word jealousy, I don't see a great many people thinking 6 months on contributions JSA is some wonderful gig. Most people seem to be warning OP off it because it'd be shit. To think anyone who objects to people choosing to claim benefits is as shortsighted as thinking we'd be better off as a society if all SAHPs on benefits just got a job. Neither assumption is correct.

itsbetterthanabox · 11/04/2016 14:52

You don't just get jsa. You have to be seriously job hunting and they check. There's meetings and reviews and classes.
If you just leave your job you won't get it anyway.
Jsa is for people job hunting not for you to live off because you don't want to work.

NewLife4Me · 11/04/2016 14:57

Harlot

I was including tax credits too. I posted earlier and told OP that being on jsa wasn't what it used to be, not that i have ever claimed this apart from 2 weeks when I was about 16 and looking for work.

The jealousy is from the people who purposely fail to see that both parents working isn't right for every family, and for some just not cost efficient.
They have the attitude of work till you drop is the only way, even though others have different values and expectancies from life.
Everybody should do what is right for their family and if their choice attracts benefit, it is fine for people to choose this.
The only reason anybody would object would be jealousy.

HarlotBronte · 11/04/2016 15:08

Your last sentence is what's silly new life, and narrow minded too. Jealousy involves an element of wanting what someone else has got. Several people on this thread have made it pretty clear they don't think it should be an option full stop. I don't agree, but it's a pretty clearly articulated viewpoint. To presume they couldn't possibly be telling the truth and must secretly want to be a sahp supported by benefits themselves is doing exactly what you complain about in your post, failing to recognise that people usually want to do what's best for their family and that differs for everyone.

Jw35 · 11/04/2016 15:09

I'm not cheating the system. I had a job, went on maternity leave and decided not to go back. The Jobcentre know I quit to stay at home with the baby and I'm entitled to income support, child tax credits and housing benefit. As I'm pregnant again they're also aware I don't plan to work for the next 1-2 years. I've been completely upfront with them on it! Both little ones convinced deliberately via a sperm donor. Very much wanted and loved. I've worked all my life in one job or another since I was 17 and I'm 36 now. The only time I claimed benefit is when my eldest child (now 12) was born until she was 3 years old and now. My plan is to become a childminder in the next 2 years, I'm also studying for a degree with the OU. I want to be a play therapist You can resent me if you like but I'm not willing to use childcare and that's my choice. That doesn't mean I shouldn't have children as a single parent because there's nobody to support me staying at home? The benefits are there to use in situations like mine and I'm lucky to live in a country that has this. Personally I think there's way to much criticism of people on benefits. I don't have low self esteem and I'm perfectly happy, some on here has mentioned needing to work for self respect but that doesn't seem to effect me in the same way. I'm totally happy with my decisions.

heron98 · 11/04/2016 15:30

I have no choice but to work for financial reasons but would I do it if I didn't need too? Hell no!

If I had the money there'd be far better things I'd do than go to work.

That said, since I am not rich, I would much rather work than stay at home because that would make me depressed.

heron98 · 11/04/2016 15:30

to. Not too.

itsbetterthanabox · 11/04/2016 15:47

You can opt to be a Sahp if your partner works. You can claim tax credits not jsa. It's only up until school age.

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 11/04/2016 15:56

I don't resent you. I just think you are deluded. To deliberately get pregnant more than once, with no partner, and then choosing not to work when you had a job...to live on benefits that are meant for those without that choice...it's not something to be proud of.
I'm sure you are happy, sitting at home playing with your kids on someone elses money, playing at being a student as well, a lovely set up you've managed to get without working.

As for criticism of people on benefits, a lot of it is because of people like you playing the system. People can't always tell the difference between those who deserve benefits and who would work if they could, and those like you who refuse to work and live off the taxes of others. Blame yourself if you don't like the criticism.

oldlaundbooth · 11/04/2016 16:00

Social interaction.

Money (not that I earn much but I will not be financially reliant on DH, even though I could be).

Jw35 · 11/04/2016 17:11

Whatever smarter

Sunshowercap · 11/04/2016 17:15

Everybody should do what is right for their family and if their choice attracts benefit, it is fine for people to choose this
The only reason anybody would object would be jealousy.

Er no, that's not the only reason. There could be many reasons. Off the top of my head:

People who contribute a lot via taxes & NI and dislike seeing others take the mick People who see that the OP* might be making herself financially vulnerable & dependent on others
People who are warning her against becoming de-skilled
People who've made the ethical decision to live within their means
People who've done the sums about pensions - giving up work means a lower pension and/or financial dependency People who really need benefits and are put through the mill because of people like the OP* who want benefits because they don't feel like working - every unethical claim makes the ethical ones harder

Original poster

IamthepermedowlofVeronica · 11/04/2016 17:40

Thanks for all the shit comments from people who cant read.
If I hand my notice in to do temporary work, I will then be unemployed and job seeking.
I have paid ni and tax since I was 18, a long time, and when I was in my previous career, that was alot of tax!
I will be job seeking so why cant I sign on? I asked why people worked as I will be £6 worse off going to work in my current job.
How is any of that unethical?
Actually i think I'll get pregnant again for the child benefit, then split up with dh so I can claim income support, maybe try to persuade a doctor to sign me off too... Then I'll be playing the system yey!

OP posts:

whois · 11/04/2016 17:47

Also some stupid people can't see that for some it isn't worth working if it actually costs you more to work than it does not to work.

I understand that it can cost more to go to work once you have kids than you get in income. However this is usually only short term (per school age) and the long term benefits of staying in the work force (career progression, pension etc) should not be overlooked.

Quite. What low expectations to model to your kids. Economically inactive households are not something to aspire to bring children into.

whois · 11/04/2016 17:55

he benefits are there to use in situations like mine

I disagree. I strongly believe that the social welfare state safety net should be there for when people need it not because they want a couple of years off work or don't like the idea of using paid childcare.

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