To ask why you go to work

[IamthepermedowlofVeronica]

Try to be brief but thorough....
Due back from 1 years maternity at the beginning of June. Hate job, don't want to go back. Have had offer of temporary ad hoc work between June and start of summer hols.
Wondered how much job seekers is whilst I apply and interview over summer hols. Did the online calculator tangy: If I work current hours and pay childcare I would earn £6 less than if I signed on job seekers.
So why should I go to work (no career, just a money earning job) and how does signing on work? Has anyone found it detrimental to confidence etc?
Hopefully I'll get another cash earning job in September or,something when ds will be 15 months

I work primarily for the salary. Secondly I would go utterly insane at home, I need distracting from my own brain as I overthink things. I also like financial independence, mine and dh marriage is up and down, I know I could split and be able to support myself and the dc, I need this.

I am lucky to be able to work part time (3 days) and pick up extra hours if I need the money. My dc are 11 & 12 now so it's far easier to juggle childcare.

So save and space. And of course it doesn't always work out that way. But plenty more people could plan to work it that way rather than decide to have one after the other without stopping and considering cost. It's because my children are real people with real expensive needs such as shelter, clothes and food, that their existence needed planning and saving for.

£3.50 an hour for childcare - where is that? Around here it's twice that, £70 a day for nursery.

Caz, that fairly standard for a childminder. Usual range is £3-£4 with £3.50 being the most common charge. I'm in the South.

You normally find nurseries charge more than a childminder. I'm in the north, CMs charge £3 or £3.50 an hour and nursery £40-£55 a day, or £6 an hour.

I'm in Surrey Mini. Childminders who come to our local soft play charge £50 a day (and I've not been particularly impressed with the way they look after the children either, they seem to just chat amongst themselves and leave them to their own devises)

I've never used a childminder but I'm sure there's good and bad like most jobs. I'm in Sussex. However, it's likely that wages in Surrey would accommodate higher childcare rates (on the whole)

Mind you, I'm very guilty of benign neglect at playcentres myself. Once they got to 2yrs, (other than ds3 who has additional needs) I sat with a cuppa and sent them off.

I thought I was on a reasonable wage but it wasn't enough to cover childcare costs, it would have been fine in other parts of the country. Dh and I work in a relatively low paid industry, we would be a lot better off somewhere else but had step children's needs to consider. Some of these kids at the soft play are around 1 I think, they can't move around very well but they just get left to get on with it (sorry, that subject probably needs a separate thread)

I spent nearly 15 years not working, trying to survive on DLA and my dh's meagre and sporadic income. I hated not working, really seriously hated it. I was disabled and in no fit state to work but I hated it. I spent 3 years trying to work out what I could do out of the crap work there is available round here, coming up with nothing. Then some friends of mine were saying how busy there were in their own business and I had a lightbulb moment. I asked them if I could help and they bit my arm off! They can't afford to pay me - I knew that before I even spoke to them so no surprise - but I don't care.

I love working. I love my job. I love my colleagues/friends. I love getting out of the house - I was almost bed-bound for a lot of those 15 years, and pretty well house-bound for much of it. Regardless of the fact that before I became ill/disabled, my career was good, well paid, fascinating, and very skilled, requiring high qualifications, and that what I do now is not very skilled, and requires little education, I LOVE IT!!!! I'm doing it for nothing, but they feed me at lunch time, are delightful to spend time with, though we keep our heads down and work so not much chitchat except at lunchtime, it is enough for now. I've been doing it for about a year, and they are now talking about a little 'jolly' to celebrate.

I know I'm useful and my work is appreciated. I gain so much satisfaction knowing that I'm helping, and making a difference. My feeling of self-worth has rocketed. I am so much happier.

That's why I go to work.

Because I want to. I like having my own money. I like having a safety net. I hate being dependent on others even DH. DH does not want the entire financial burden on his shoulders. I mostly like my job and colleagues and get paid well for it. Mine and DH's combined salaries give us and DD a good lifestyle and we don't need to worry about money.

Can, Sussex is def cheaper than Surrey for all sorts of things, including childcare. Before we moved here we lived in Cheshire and before that, Edinburgh. Both were far more expensive that here. I'm a teacher. I could, with a deposit, get a mortgage big enough to buy a house down here. Not so in either the part of Cheshire or the part of Edinburgh we lived in. There are pockets all over the country where you pay through the nose for most things. Unfortunately, most of Surrey falls under that category.

Yes Mini, house prices, rents, childcare etc are just ridiculous around here, we shall be moving next year when dhs daughter is 18 and off to Uni.

If you can stay home for a bit could be great for you and kids - too much pressure nowadays - if you don't love your job it will be worse post kids and childcare can be expensive,unreliable and doesn't always fit with temporary work- there are other ways of keeping your skills up to date like helping out in the community/retraining- you might find a new career you actually like- I have battled to keep working and faced redundancy after both pregnancies whilst having to pay the bills - so wished there were other options at the time- can be soul destroying - just take it one day at a time is my advice - maybe go back and see how you get on then leave if you hate it

outsourcing childcare isn't a necessary part of being a parent, it can be a necessary part of working if you have children though.
Working can cost you far more than sah if you factor in all associated costs

HTF is that goady, its fact.

wannabe

I do lots of work, just don't always get paid for it.
Have just been given a room at an Arts venue to run a speak easy.
It's not for profit but we get to keep door takings and I'll no doubt get paid for services.
The room is fantastic and all ready to go now, I'm really excited.

I work because I'm proud of what I do. It's part of my identity and I studied for years to get into my profession.
When DS was a baby I lived off my savings then went back to work when he was 18 months old and my savings were almost gone
I'm a lone parent with little support, and I'm thankful for the bit of assistance I get from tax credits that pays towards his nursery fees.
I agree with other posters that I want to be a good role model for my child.

That said, my job is really tough at the moment and I'd probably give it up if I won the lottery, but it's a 'useful' role in healthcare so I don't feel guilty about claiming tax credits. I couldn't afford to work without them.

I work because;

I don't want to live in utter poverty when this government finally allows me to retire and have a pension to top up what meagre "state" pension is left from being plundered already by successive governments.

So I don't have a gaping hole in my CV that employers wonder about then penalise because having a family probably means you'll take time off at some point for a "snotty nosed kid" (yes, there are companies that DO look at this angle and employ male workers for that very reason).

So I can pay the various bills as all savings were used up when I was on maternity (and paying for IVF treatment).

As I'd worked hard at uni (3 times) to get my qualifications and don't want my skills and knowledge to fall behind others in the field (many of which are men as its a male orientated profession)

I'd go mad watching endless In the Night Garden repeats.

I hate "toddler" groups with a passion - parents ignoring their kids while they sit and chat about X factor or the latest celeb gossip - no thanks. My brain is rotting as it is without that banal drivel.

I can work part-time and have time for me now that DD is at school. To do things I want to do (on my 4th Futurelearn course about to start my 5th - all free).

To help my husband and support him so he doesn't have to pay for everything (I organise holidays, Christmas, birthdays etc as well as contribute to the mortgage).

So my DD could socialise with other kids and make friends. To learn about routines (as they have those in school and gave her an idea about what her day would be like).

To make a difference and hopefully ensure staff in the organisation I work for go home safely at the end of the night.

So I didn't need to take benefits from people who REALLY needed them due to disability, injury, illness (both physical and mental) or redundancy.

I like my job (most of the time) and enjoy visiting different sites and seeing people.

I work because I'm physically able to do so and want my daughter to see that nothing in life is free and that her Mummy and Daddy have to work so she can have clothes, a roof over her head and food in her stomach.

If you can afford to SAH with your child(ren) then that's fantastic if that's what you want to do. However, if you can't afford it then don't expect ME and my work colleagues to pay for you now or in the future.

I realise everyone's circumstances are different and some people don't have much of a choice, but I have seen too many women I know gaily giving up work when they become mums to live off their husband's income only to discover years down the line that they have sacrificed a lot more than they realise - independence, skills, employability, an identity and life outside of the home, and in some cases the respect of their partner. That's not always the case, clearly, and it is the right decision for some people, but I genuinely think there are many women who don't fully think through what it is they are really giving up.

I personally like the term "outsourcing" precisely because it makes abundantly clear that childcare is in not simultaneous with parenting or love.

It's a wanky turn of phrase imo.

Agree Tubbs.
Even the most wonderful men lose a little respect for their DW if she doesn't contribute financially to the household.
I agree that every situation is different and giving up work for a short time is fine, but not for years.
I would never give up working completely.

If you can afford to SAH with your child(ren) then that's fantastic if that's what you want to do. However, if you can't afford it then don't expect ME and my work colleagues to pay for you now or in the future

This. Wonderful post altogether - thanks for putting into words what I've been thinking, Alidoll

Also, WTF "outsourcing" childcare? Talk about goady. Do you "outsource" your children's education? Do you "outsource" your children's healthcare?

It's a terrible attitude.

If we had the money I would choose to be a stay at home mum, but we don't so I can't. I don't mind working and my daughter does love nursery though so I don't feel guilty for working.

As much as I would love to stay at home I agree with pp, I wouldn't expect the state to pay for it. I think benefits are for when you can't work, not because you don't want to.

I realise everyone's circumstances are different and some people don't have much of a choice, but I have seen too many women I know gaily giving up work when they become mums to live off their husband's income only to discover years down the line that they have sacrificed a lot more than they realise - independence, skills, employability, an identity and life outside of the home, and in some cases the respect of their partner. That's not always the case, clearly, and it is the right decision for some people, but I genuinely think there are many women who don't fully think through what it is they are really giving up

You only have to browse the Relationships topic here to see how this backfires for some women, and how badly the courts treat women who've done this.

To any woman giving up working for money, if that decision makes her financially dependent on her partner, I want to shout "Don't give up your financial independence." Men can be bastards when they get a new lurve at 50.