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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not sell a potentially £million plus property for £200,000?

507 replies

InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 20:34

Got a really sticky situation and need some advice.

FIL has died and Dh and BIL have inherited his house and small holding. We are not local and do not wish to live there. It's BILs dream to live there and he wants to buy us out and will happily pay us half of the £400,000 valuation of the small holding inc the house.

There are eight acres of land and I genuinely believe that planning permission could be got. The fields are in the middle of a village, so surrounded by built up areas/houses on all sides. Obviously if planning permission was gained the value of the land would be a lot more.

Bil has no interest in planning permission or making any money. He wants to live in his childhood home surrounded by goats, chickens and gooseberry bushes living a River Cottage dream. Dh doesn't want to rock the boat and doesn't know what to do.

I know if we did sell it we could put a thing on the sale saying if BIL did in the future get planning permission we would be entitled to more money. But I know BIL wouldn't ever seek planning permission. He won't even consider only having some of the land and planning permission for the rest of it. He wants a couple of ponies and says he needs all the land. I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace.....we're not that well off. BIL owns 4 houses and already has a fantastic pension as well as rental income and his current house is worth half a million. We're in a terrace with no other houses and while £200,000 is a lot of money i don't think it's fair that BIL expects us to let him have his own way.

OP posts:
jay55 · 10/04/2016 21:38

I don't see why bil is putting the pressure on already when it's not going anywhere. In the circumstance is mistrust his valuation. Is bil executor?

If it was my partner id ask him not to decide anything yet, sounds like he was backed into a corner previously. Nothing happens overnight, get the valuations and make an informed choice.

Aspergallus · 10/04/2016 21:39

This is none of your business. Your DH and BIL should be the ones working out how to deal with their family home.

Your pipe dreams of making a fortune by splitting up the property and land and inappropriate and grabby. This is not your windfall, not your "lottery win". And BIL's relative wealth is irrelevant.

It's two brothers deciding how to fairly deal with the family home. Nothing more. Beak out.

EddieStobbart · 10/04/2016 21:39

My DB and I had a slightly complicated inheritance situation that we worked through without any major fall out. It relates to a property which has a sentimental attachment to us but my DB and I agreed that we should discuss selling when we approach old age because our DCs will not have the same attachment and they may want to do very different things which could lead to disagreements and that would be really sad.

I think it's sensible to have a proper chat about development potential with DBIL once the correct I nformation is obtained. He may not want to develop the land but his children may be happy to and that is likely to impact on familial relations in this circumstance. I don't think it's "grabby and entitled", I think it's properly working through potentially contentious issues before they arise.

Original poster
InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 21:39

He is certainly being very convincing about wanting to live there long term.

I remember 20 years ago saying to my sister I can see that if/when this current situation arises he might buy all the land and then sell it on with planning permission himself. But I was a little bit hacked off over the last house at the time.

I do think he is being genuine in wanting to live there. But then when I think about what happened last time I wonder if I'm being gullible?

OP posts:
ADishBestEatenCold · 10/04/2016 21:41

Could your DH buy Bil out? Raise a second mortgage on your own property? Rent out inherited property as a holiday home? Sell up your own place and move there Anything?

Maybe your DH should call Bil's bluff, by saying actually the two possible options he (DH) would be willing to consider are

a) that the two brothers each retain a half share in the inherited property, while looking at ways for it to pay for itself/bring in an income, e.g. holiday home, renting out in it's entirety (house rentals with some sort of equestrian facility can bring in a lot!),
b) That DH buys Bil out ... he could simply say he's been looking into whether this might be possible and it seems that it might be.

Anyway, Bil's reaction to the whole conversation might be very telling ... it could be that he genuinely just wants to keep it in the family, in which case them each owning half and raising an income on it might well be the answer (for the time being) ... or calling his bluff might indicate that he wants to own it outright at all costs, in which case I'd wonder why, and would at least want a lot more discussion.

Either way, I don't think your DH should be pressured into a quick decision, and I definitely think another valuation.

At the end of the day, if they can't agree, it will have to be sold on the open market, in which case it might be in both their interests to seek outline planning permission first.

Arfarfanarf · 10/04/2016 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fakenamefornow · 10/04/2016 21:43

Sorry slight derail. Where can you buy a village house with eight acres for 400k?

newmumwithquestions · 10/04/2016 21:43

I started off thinking YABU (grabby) but having read through I actually think you've got a justified concern. If BIL really does want his parents home as it is, to use and to live in then he shouldn't mind you keeping ownership of half and paying a low rent. So I think it does depend on his motives.
If he genuinely wants to live there then it would be a shame to deprive him of that and paying you half market value is fair, but that should be half the value of the property taking into account the value of the land for other uses. As others have said, get other valuations.

GnomeDePlume · 10/04/2016 21:43

If BiL were planning to go for the whole River Cottage thing then I would say he was mad but fair enough. This time of year he will be eating sprouts and leeks and not much else.

If on the other hand he just wants to play at the rustic life and will still be doing his shopping at Waitrose or wherever then I would say that he should be paying the full dollar for his hobby.

Get a proper valuation for the property then go from there.

bakeoffcake · 10/04/2016 21:45

I dont think you're being grabby at all OP.

Your BIL was pushy and sneaky about the other house your H and he inherited. You're very rightly thinking he's up to something now. The fact he's insisting on buying everything raises alarm bells.
I'd want to go for him buying the house and large garden and both brothers keeping the rest of the land. If BIL wants to use it he can but it belongs to both him and his brother.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 10/04/2016 21:45

I remember 20 years ago saying to my sister I can see that if/when this current situation arises he might buy all the land and then sell it on with planning permission himself

You've been on this for 20 years?

I don't think you're gullible one bit, OP. You've been planning your reaction to this for decades.

Unreal.

BlueJug · 10/04/2016 21:46

Sorry - if BiL wants all of it, his way and is retired and has kids he won't stay longer than ten years at most. He is playing the long game.

I don't doubt he wants to live there but he is property developer. He well knows the value. His kids won't be so generous when it comes to selling - as was shown with the previous house. It happened to me.

Of course you should be discussing it with your DH - you are a family.

Repeat.
Get it properly valued. See a lawyer.

Original poster
InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 21:46

We couldn't afford to buy BIL out.

BIL won't entertain the thought of Dh and him keeping half each.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I will tell Dh that I have no opinion and he must do what he wants. But I will mention getting a proper red book valuation/probate valuation as a possibility as I don't think he's thought of this. Last house was just an estate agent value from someone BIL organised.

OP posts:
SquidgeyMidgey · 10/04/2016 21:47

I would either pay BIL £200k for his share then get planning, or sell to him for £200k and let him live his dream. He's just lost his dad for crying out loud. His dad. Your husband's dad. Not yours. Try to see the people and not the pound signs. The love of money and all that.

SquidgeyMidgey · 10/04/2016 21:48

Sorry, that was harsh. When my dad died it turned into a nightmare and it touched a nerve, sorry.

RandyMagnum · 10/04/2016 21:48

If it was me, I wouldn't trust him, sounds a bit fishy.

QuiteLikely5 · 10/04/2016 21:49

I'd have the same thoughts as you op.

The man is your husband so do not worry or think it wrong that you are interested in his financial wellbeing.

Please suggest the covenant stating if the land is sold to developers you get half of the proceeds. If you don't do it and he sells to developers that will breed massive resentment of untold proportions!

It's possible some posters on here are jealous of the 200k hence the vitriol!

Heidi42 · 10/04/2016 21:50

Don't sell it to him , let him rent your half if that helps op, it may seem childish or immature or just plain daft but at least it keeps your oar in there my dear . I don't think you are being grabby I think you are trying to make sure you don't get done and there is nothing wrong with that . Also if you are anything like my hubbs and I then everything is ours straight don the middle, my dmil died and the money she left dh is now ours bc we are as one .
Also I have to tell you abut my dsil who was supposedly left ground in her dm will, the solicitor made a mistake with the will and it all got left to my sil sister who refuses to honour the true will despite my dsil nursing the mother for 8 years . So proceed with caution good luck. To be honest I would turn the tables and say you want to buy him out for 200 k and see what he says then , the bil sounds like he has narc tendencies to me be very careful.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/04/2016 21:51

8 acres is a lot - more then the average man needs

Get house and garden valued - and bil pay you Half

then the 8 acres - then you /dh and bil can either have 4 acres each or have the agreement if the acres is ever sold that will be split 50/50

I don't think you are being greedy. Just looking out for dh and your children's future

Grilledaubergines · 10/04/2016 21:51

Death really brings out greed.

The property isn't worth £1,000,000. It's worth £400,000.

Are you worried that your Bil will give your husband his share and then obtain planning permission, selling it on for vastly more? Chance you take isn't it. As it stands you sound money grabbing.

NotDavidTennant · 10/04/2016 21:52

My advice would be:

  1. Don't just trust you BILs valuation, get some of your own done to get a realistic value of the property as it stands.

  2. Give up any thought on what it would be worth as developed land. Your BIL, as part owner, would have to agree to any development and from what you say it doesn't seem likely.

  3. Agree in principle to sell it in return for a covenant granting your DH half of any uplift if it is developed in future. If BIL reacts in a strongly negative way to this proposal then it will become obvious that he is trying to pull a fast one and is not to be trusted.

pandarific · 10/04/2016 21:54

BIL won't entertain the thought of Dh and him keeping half each.

Well BIL will have to, if that's what's fair on both brothers. Make sure you stick up for your DH OP - BIL has got form for wanting it all his own way. Good luck.

LuluJakey1 · 10/04/2016 21:55

I don't think you are being grabby. It needs thinking through.
BIL might pay you the £200,000 his estate agent says it is worth but you want several proper valuations, including of potential worth with planning permission. What BIL says now and what he does in a couple of years' time might be very different. The point isn't a sentimental one about him living in his family home, it is that DH has been left a 50% share in it and it is an asset for your future and your children's future, as it will be for BIL too.
Your DH should not be pressured by BIL demanding things his way.
No need to rush into anything. Let the dust settle and do some finding out about things. Potential housing land is increasing rapidly at the moment depending on the situation.

peggyundercrackers · 10/04/2016 21:56

I think BiL sounds like a sneaky fucker. He has got someone in to value it that he knows and is offering you DH half. How do you even know the valuation is correct? Get your own valuation PDQ - stuff worrying about upsetting him.

Of course he wants to develop it, that's already obvious. He will stay there a few years whilst he makes his plans then will get 'fed up' and sell up.

I know someone who actually done this -- bought his dad's small holding with some land on ththe edge of town and stayed there for a bit then developers started buying land round about him as the town expanded and they approached him but he kept turning them down until they offered him 7million... Needless to say he was licking his heels all the way to the bank That's a lot of lost money to take the moral high ground. The moral high ground won't load look after your family in years to come.

I find when it comes to family, money and death there are no morals - some people are greedy sneaky fuckers - without a shadow of a doubt but this is your BiL. Remember all's fair in love and war.

SoThatHappened · 10/04/2016 21:56

You say you're not well off.

Well a £200k lump sum and tax free is more money than most people will ever see in their entire lifetime.

How much fucking money do you need OP? Hmm