To not sell a potentially £million plus property for £200,000?

[InheritanceDilema]

Got a really sticky situation and need some advice.

FIL has died and Dh and BIL have inherited his house and small holding. We are not local and do not wish to live there. It's BILs dream to live there and he wants to buy us out and will happily pay us half of the £400,000 valuation of the small holding inc the house.

There are eight acres of land and I genuinely believe that planning permission could be got. The fields are in the middle of a village, so surrounded by built up areas/houses on all sides. Obviously if planning permission was gained the value of the land would be a lot more.

Bil has no interest in planning permission or making any money. He wants to live in his childhood home surrounded by goats, chickens and gooseberry bushes living a River Cottage dream. Dh doesn't want to rock the boat and doesn't know what to do.

I know if we did sell it we could put a thing on the sale saying if BIL did in the future get planning permission we would be entitled to more money. But I know BIL wouldn't ever seek planning permission. He won't even consider only having some of the land and planning permission for the rest of it. He wants a couple of ponies and says he needs all the land. I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace.....we're not that well off. BIL owns 4 houses and already has a fantastic pension as well as rental income and his current house is worth half a million. We're in a terrace with no other houses and while £200,000 is a lot of money i don't think it's fair that BIL expects us to let him have his own way.

[InheritanceDilema]

I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace

If Dh decides he is happy with what BIL is offering then that is very much his decision

Let's see which one of these two somewhat conflicting statements is realised then.



I guess I should have added to that first sentence (if Dh isn't happy about the situation). Dh is the kind of person who might agree to it even if he doesn't want to. BIL is quite forceful.

If Dh genuinely decides to accept the offer then I will not say a word. Even if I think Dh is saying yes just to keep the peace I would only say something if asked. I do actually get on with BIL, Sil and their kids and enjoy seeing them.

[NanoTechMum]

Of course the OP isn't being grabby. She is trying to think through all possible options for her DH and his brother to both be happy. It is a delicate situation - one brother has emotional attachment and the other would appreciate financial gain.

Could the land be divided in two for each brother to do what they choose with their half?

[user7755]

Not at all #jealous guilty. My dh has inherited money from his family over the last few years, He has not done at all with it what I would choose to, the house is still up for sale and decisions made about this do not reflect what I would have done. But do you know what? It's none of my business, nothing to do with me.

Just like any inheritance I may get in the future will be dealt with in a way which I choose.

[InheritanceDilema]

Reading between the lines, it sounds like you don't consider your BIL to be trustworthy. Do you suspect he is spinning you a line and wants to develop it himself?

20 years ago I would have said yes for sure. Not so sure now. I think he genuinely does want to live there for now. But potentially in ten, 20 years time who knows?

[Fishface77]

See op o wouldn't. This can be a life changing amount of money. Fuck that for a game of soldiers. You will still get on well with bil sil and kids if you agree but if you don't? Does that mean they won't want to know you? So then are these relationships worth maintaining?

[pandarific]

He's making it very clear he wants to buy everything.

That rings alarm bells with me - BIL is not really thinking about what your DH wants at all. It needs to be better thought out than this, definitely.

[HarrietSchulenberg]

It's been a long time since I've seen such a nakedly greedy post as this, and I'm surprised (but shouldn't be) that so many people see land only in terms of development, property and hard cash.

Luckily your DH, BIL and FIL seemed to have the sense to see it for what it really is. Neither of the remaining family needs a grabby fisted spouse trying to get her snout in the trough.

Just be grateful you're in line for £200k and spend your time planning a wise investment.

[BlueJug]

Also - I can well imagine a situation when SiL says to BiL, " Darling, do we really need that draughty old farm? You do know we could sell it for several million and little mini me and you would so benefit from going to the lovely posh private school in X-town instead of the local comp"

And it will get too much for him. He won't stay forever.

[GnomeDePlume]

Is your bil rather disingenuous? Could he have a hidden agenda?

Yes, a question I also had. I wonder if a few years down the line BiL will get tired of his rural idyll and all of a sudden the land will be sold for development and be covered with hundreds of densely packed houses.

OP does you BiL have significant experience of the smallholding life?

[NotQuiteJustYet]

YABU - this is NOT your inheritance to be worrying about, making plans for or seeking advice on!

You talk about your BIL buying 'us' out, about 'our' share and what 'we'll' get, absolutely not. You are in no way involved in this financial transaction, he wasn't your father and this isn't your estate to be planning to benefit from unless it was stated so in the will.

You come across as a greedy and petty frankly airing the family's finances when going on about your FIL helping your BIL to pay for YOUR HUSBAND'S share of the legacy he was left from an uncle. Your husband got the money, why does it matter what arrangement was agreed between them? There could be details you're not privy to.

For what it's worth, my DH's grandmother recently passed and has left an estate. I haven't discussed this any of the family at all in the months since she passed because his family's finances are NONE OF MY BUSINESS who has been left what.

[InheritanceDilema]

Yes Harriet. That's exactly it, you've hit the nail on the head.

[AyeAmarok]

Inheritance does bring out the worst in folk.

[whattodowiththepoo]

OP step away and don't advise your DH on this further.
It is not your business, no matter how much you try to make it.
Let the brothers figure it out and don't get involved, you are overly invested and being very selfish.

[FirstWeTakeManhattan]

Bil has no interest in planning permission or making any money

But I know BIL wouldn't ever seek planning permission

This was your OP, OP.

I'm sure you won't start to change those fairly clear statements to garner more supportive replies.

20 years ago I would have said yes for sure. Not so sure now

Oh, right.

[InheritanceDilema]

BIL has no smallholding experience apart from growing up on one. So I guess he saw what it was like when he was a kid but hasn't done it himself if that makes sense. He's just retired so I think he thinks it will keep him busy.

[Lunar1]

The bil sounds sneaky to me, I'd start with some proper independent valuations.

[Fishface77]

I also don't understand people saying its none of the op's business. Big financial decisions that do or can have the potential to affect the family should surely be discussed by the people who it would affect? And that includes op?
I wouldn't buy a sofa for example without discussing it with my DH so I would expect the same respect and that would include inheritance etc.
He's asked your opinion OP so give it.

[Ooogetyooo]

I definately think your Bil has an agenda, given the back story. I would advise your dh to get further valuations in and seek proper advice. Your Bil sounds like he is expecting your dh to just roll over for him. I don't think you are being grabby, you are just looking out for your family's future security.

[Mrsmorton]

I think you sound greedy tbh and I hope my SIL doesn't think like that when our family farm is under discussion.

[Fishface77]

And when the small holding experience honey ko wears of he can see it for a tidy sum.

[Fishface77]

*honeymoon experience
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[WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meGoes]

If he really does just want to live in it and keep the land, why on earth would he put himself through the hassle of getting planning permission? He could end up in a huge fight with the rest of the village, who would be suspicious of his motives and he would be forever painted as a greedy landowner. so if he subsequently wanted PP for something minor they would probably all put up a fight again. I agree with others that a covenant regarding any future uplift in value due to PP being gained sounds like the way to go.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

In the politest possible way: Stop behaving like a dick. Stop thinking about it, it's not your property.

[stonecircle]

Wow - so many spiteful and uncalled for comments. Love to know how many of the people making them wouldn't question the proposed arrangement.

The op's DH is unsure what to do - should she really refuse to get involved?!

[witsender]

Get it valued with planning permission so everyone knows where they stand. Then get contracts written so should it be granted in future, you get a cut. Best of all worlds.