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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not sell a potentially £million plus property for £200,000?

507 replies

InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 20:34

Got a really sticky situation and need some advice.

FIL has died and Dh and BIL have inherited his house and small holding. We are not local and do not wish to live there. It's BILs dream to live there and he wants to buy us out and will happily pay us half of the £400,000 valuation of the small holding inc the house.

There are eight acres of land and I genuinely believe that planning permission could be got. The fields are in the middle of a village, so surrounded by built up areas/houses on all sides. Obviously if planning permission was gained the value of the land would be a lot more.

Bil has no interest in planning permission or making any money. He wants to live in his childhood home surrounded by goats, chickens and gooseberry bushes living a River Cottage dream. Dh doesn't want to rock the boat and doesn't know what to do.

I know if we did sell it we could put a thing on the sale saying if BIL did in the future get planning permission we would be entitled to more money. But I know BIL wouldn't ever seek planning permission. He won't even consider only having some of the land and planning permission for the rest of it. He wants a couple of ponies and says he needs all the land. I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace.....we're not that well off. BIL owns 4 houses and already has a fantastic pension as well as rental income and his current house is worth half a million. We're in a terrace with no other houses and while £200,000 is a lot of money i don't think it's fair that BIL expects us to let him have his own way.

OP posts:
NKffffffffcc76819dX1269e27c0b3 · 11/04/2016 16:32

This is the first time ever I've commented on here. Don't listen to people saying you're grabby. Both of my parents have been in this situation with their siblings being left property and land that went for building and both sets of siblings used the argument that "the land isn't worth anything" and "we don't want to build on it" and "we want to live there, can't bear to part with it". Guess what, both times, within a couple of years, planning permission was gained; the land developed and a considerable amount of money made.
To all of those who say you are grabby, how would they feel if their assets were left equally to both their children, but for one to benefit considerably more from the assets than the other, through undervaluing the assets? Also, your BIL is already £20k up on you DH through the previous inheritance.
You need to have three valuations done on the property and the likelihood of planning needs to be examined. The property can remain part of your parents-in-law estate until the possibility of planning can be established and a proper value put on the property. Maybe the land can be split off, as maybe you would like to build a house on it in the future?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/04/2016 16:37

If the FIL did not take the opourtunities availible during his life time to hand another 20k to the DH to make it "fair" why? If he did not take the chance to reflect this 20k in his own will why not?

Perhaps the BIL did pay it back in some way the op has no knowledge of perhaps the FIL has a different relationship with the DH. Perhaps the FIL is a grumpy git who plays golden child, all we know is FIL gave BIL a gift of 20k that the BIL used to buy DH out of the first house.

Some people may feel that it's down to the adult children to rectify percieved unfairness commited by the parents, some people believe it's fully down to a of sound mind adult to leave their money however they see fit and you get the hand you are dealt because it's their money not yours, I'm in the latter.

(And I say that as an adult who wouldn't dream of creating drama over my mothers will despite knowing I'm not even hinted at in it and my golden child sister gets everything)

SENMumoftwo · 11/04/2016 16:57

I cannot believe people haven't realised it's the BIL who is benefitting from these awful situations. What a guy he is with all these "it's my way or tough shit" attitudes he's throwing round.

As long as he pays your DH half, then you seem willing to accept and are very sensible and far from greedy. Surely you're just looking out for your family and saying on here what your DH is thinking. As opposed to trying to push him in any direction.

OP, you really need to get 3 independent agents round, take legal advice you are clearly needing, then sit down together (first with DH) and talk it out. Make sure anything that is said is what DH wants. I know a family in a situation where the brother desperately wanted to disagree, but didn't want to upset anyone, so stayed quiet, and he lost so much. And, you guessed it, his brother came up trumps.

I really felt for you when I read this. You are, without doubt a very sensible and tactful person Flowers Wine

YellowTulips · 11/04/2016 16:58

I really hope the OP comes back to this thread to see the more supportive comments rather than bow to the early "grabby" posts.

Marynary · 11/04/2016 17:04

We do not know that it is not a valid correct appropreate valuation the only way this can be known is if the DH acts like a grown up and aranges one which he should have done already given the BIL has had time to do so

So you think the DH is not "acting like a grown up" because he hasn't been as quick as his brother in finding out how much his inheritance is worth?Hmm

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/04/2016 17:05

I don't think she is grabby and I don't think her DH would be being grabby to make sure it's valued at its maximum capacity nothing at all wrong with being more formal when it comes to things like this, if more people did it less stress would be caused.

But I'm not sure the BIL as much of a wanker as being made out.

Owllady · 11/04/2016 17:06

Houses with land that have agricultural tie are generally worth less than market value. Is this why it's so lower than you expect?
I live in a rural village and its very difficult (almost impossible) to get Pp quickly on any agri land, if at all.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/04/2016 17:10

No mary but there has obviously been time availible for such a thing to have been done given that one party had been able to do so, And part and parcel of dealing with the effects of a death is the probate/financial side of things, and when large sums of money are involved there tends to be shit you have to do to get it dealing with that is part of grown up life.

I do think he is not behaving like a grown up if he does not do it now, unless of course he has no interest in challenging his brothers valuation and that is his choice.

Marynary · 11/04/2016 17:17

No mary but there has obviously been time availible for such a thing to have been done given that one party had been able to do so, And part and parcel of dealing with the effects of a death is the probate/financial side of things, and when large sums of money are involved there tends to be shit you have to do to get it dealing with that is part of grown up life.

There has been time for the BIL, who lives nearby, to get an estate agent around to value the property he wants. That probably took about half an hour. That isn't the same as dealing with probate/financial side of things after a death. Regardless, it is a bit off to suggest that someone isn't behaving like a "grownup" just because they haven't been as quick of the mark to get what they want as some other members of the family. You don't know the time scales involved.

Janecc · 11/04/2016 17:30

Good point owllady. Is this tied land? If so planning permission can't be granted unless this is lifted (which I would imagine is very difficult) and the land must be farmed.
Not sure on the rental implication if it's tied land but I think op should offer 200k and see bils face - as I said up thread as it will probably be possible to get a btl mortgage.
And a good point about selling and the tax you will pay - inheritance/ capital gains tax. Please op get a tax advisor they will be worth every penny.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/04/2016 17:47

And neither do you.

I also clarified that I was not implying that and then said it would not be behaving like a grown up if he didn't do so now unless he has no interest in challenging his brothers plans or checking up on him

ExtraBlessings · 11/04/2016 17:57

I agree with all these recent posts saying OP is being sensible and pragmatic and perfectly right to cooperate with her DH as partners to ensure the estate is dealt with correctly and fairly.

Summerwood1 · 11/04/2016 18:08

You sound grabby and selfish

Lenazabaglione · 11/04/2016 19:21

You sound grabby and selfish**

What a helpful post.

OP, if you do nothing else, please at least arrange another 2 or 3 valuations. At least then you would be settling on a fair sum.

Coconutty · 11/04/2016 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthWesterlyWinds · 11/04/2016 19:28

Ahem.... Probably even worse taste and I'd probably be labelled just as grabby, but will your DH be requiring that BIL pays the extra £20,000 into the estate to pay off his previous debt that was left outstanding to his father?

Hufflepuffin · 11/04/2016 19:39

Split the land and the house, get the house without the land valued.

Let bil buy half the house from you for whatever the valuation of the house is with rights to use the land until such time as the land is sold.

Keep your share of the land until that time.

I think this is the best suggestion for you and your children. I think you have the right to stick up for your children to your dh. It is your business. If your bil won't agree to this then it's HIM breaking the peace because it's a perfectly reasonable suggestion!

Hufflepuffin · 11/04/2016 19:39

You can also get a valuation from a RICS surveyor.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/04/2016 20:20

He can't do that south it was a gift not a loan,the op made it very clear that FIL let him have it with no requirement to pay it back.

summer It's not grabby at all to make financial decisions in a buisness like way and doing so protects both parties from all sorts of nonsence, more people should so it and the world would be a nicer place.there is nothing wrong with the DH getting his own valuation,if he does he will either find out his brother has done nothing wrong and that is the true value that should be used for probate and HMRC or he will protect himself from a lot of tax related hassle and being stiched up.

limitedperiodonly · 11/04/2016 20:27

Another one advising your husband to get two or three independent valuations OP.

DancingDinosaur · 11/04/2016 21:01

You sound grabby and selfish

Whys that then Summer? Don't just leave it there and run off eh.

Marmitelover55 · 11/04/2016 22:40

I think there is a lot of jealousy on this thread! Glad the more sensible posters have now come to the fore. I think the grabby/selfish posts are more of a reflection on those posters' rather than the OP Grin

JustGiveMeTwoMinutes · 11/04/2016 23:05

I think the message coming through from your DH is that his gut feeling is not to trust his brother and I think he is right. Get good legal advice.

SouthWesterlyWinds · 11/04/2016 23:08

NeedsASock - ahh. Missed that update.

Take it BIL was the golden child then?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 12/04/2016 00:20

It does sound like it