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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not sell a potentially £million plus property for £200,000?

507 replies

InheritanceDilema · 10/04/2016 20:34

Got a really sticky situation and need some advice.

FIL has died and Dh and BIL have inherited his house and small holding. We are not local and do not wish to live there. It's BILs dream to live there and he wants to buy us out and will happily pay us half of the £400,000 valuation of the small holding inc the house.

There are eight acres of land and I genuinely believe that planning permission could be got. The fields are in the middle of a village, so surrounded by built up areas/houses on all sides. Obviously if planning permission was gained the value of the land would be a lot more.

Bil has no interest in planning permission or making any money. He wants to live in his childhood home surrounded by goats, chickens and gooseberry bushes living a River Cottage dream. Dh doesn't want to rock the boat and doesn't know what to do.

I know if we did sell it we could put a thing on the sale saying if BIL did in the future get planning permission we would be entitled to more money. But I know BIL wouldn't ever seek planning permission. He won't even consider only having some of the land and planning permission for the rest of it. He wants a couple of ponies and says he needs all the land. I don't want to kiss goodbye to a considerable amount of money just to keep the peace.....we're not that well off. BIL owns 4 houses and already has a fantastic pension as well as rental income and his current house is worth half a million. We're in a terrace with no other houses and while £200,000 is a lot of money i don't think it's fair that BIL expects us to let him have his own way.

OP posts:
frikadela01 · 10/04/2016 22:36

It's shit like this that makes me glad me and my siblings won't have anything to inherit... even if we did we aren't sentimental types so would just sell up and split equally.

Fwiw op I agree you need to discuss this with you dp as of course it affects you.
The bill is a property developer and will know full well the value of property and land. If it was just about living there then I don't see why he'd object to only owning half and paying peppercorn rent for the other half. Just sounds fishy to me.

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/04/2016 22:37

So bil got the valuation via his estate agent friend

I would get least 2 more values from independent agencies

thenightsky · 10/04/2016 22:40

I don't see you as grabby at all OP.

WeAllHaveWings · 10/04/2016 22:41

I can't work out why you are getting such a hard time here OP. your dh obviously is discussing this with you and you have ask for advice here. Not grabby at all.

Completely sensible for your dh to get all information on current and potential value before making a decision. You bil may have a dream, but it doesn't make your dh's dreams any less worthy. If you fil wished it to continue as a small holding it would have been stipulated in the will.

CherryBees · 10/04/2016 22:41

YANBU - take heed of the advice OP get some independent evaluations completed before you decide anything.

£200k is not a life changing amount of money in the grand scheme of things especially when potentially you could be talking about millions if your OP or subsequent posts are anything to go by.

I find it hard to believe that the posters who are giving the OP a hard time would settle for £200k if it could be potentially millions.

Money is emotive though so tred carefully with your BIL as you don't want to be the root cause of a family rift. I would play the long game with this one and have all of the monetary facts before you make a decision and inform your BIL.

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/04/2016 22:42

As previous posters have said, if you are worried sell and get a covenant for 50% of any increase in land value of sale or development.

grapejuicerocks · 10/04/2016 22:44

Bil does sound a bit untrustworthy. He happily shafted dh last time and profited from that deal with no regard to dh's feelings.
Yanbu to be concerned that it's a fair deal this time.

Since when does bil make all the decisions anyway. It's all about what bil wants. "he won't entertain the idea of... " etc.

zoemaguire · 10/04/2016 22:45

Oh god I don't think they should give it to me sothat! You didnt read what i wrote. They ARENT having a comfortable retirement, because dm spent the money on nonsense 20 years ago. If she'd invested wisely, they could be doing the amazing stuff in retirement that they can't now afford to do. It has nothing to do with inheritance!

fusionconfusion · 10/04/2016 22:47

200K is not a "shitload" of money.
If BIL keeps it as it is, however, it is a reasonable split. It only becomes an issue if he then uses it to become filthy, stinking rich. So the covenant is the reasonable way forward.

coconutpie · 10/04/2016 22:51

OP, you're not being grabby. The only one being grabby here is BIL. I don't agree that you should say nothing - this is your family's inheritance, you should have some input into your DH's decision. Get it independently valued with and without planning. BIL may say he never will sell it for development but you don't know what the future holds - he may do so in a year, 10 years, 20 years or never. The ones getting the raw deal are your family. It's not just BIL that has lost a father, your DH has too and the inheritance should be split fairly as your FIL intended.

CinderellaRockefeller · 10/04/2016 22:51

"As for your brother in law -jealous much ( so unattractive ) ."

Yes op. Heaven forbid you might become (gasp) unattractive. Just the worst thing a woman could be!

fusionconfusion · 10/04/2016 22:52

And in my world, where BIL inherits land worth 1.75 million while dh nets a total 50k because he is the youngest and his brother was "given the farm", I think the best lesson to take from family inheritances is that "life was never meant to be fair".

Of course, BIL's good fortune would be because like all traditional farmer's sons the rest of the family were sent off to university instead. Oh wait, BIL got that too and has a successful consultancy business, set up based on the capital in the farm! And was provided with free childcare for his kids! And several new cars!

While PILs repeatedly ask dh where he went wrong with his life because he's not as "successful" as his brother... Hmm.

Honestly, there are worse splits in inheritances than this one.

coconutpie · 10/04/2016 22:52

And this whole crap of "he won't entertain the idea" of other options - so it's either his way or the high way? No, he doesn't get to make the decisions. Both him and your DH need to make the decision together, not your DH be bullied into something which benefits BIL's family way more than your family.

Hotcrossbunsandcheese · 10/04/2016 22:55

Is £400k probate value? I think this is down to your husband and his brother - sorry it really isn't your business and I do think that you are being very "grabby".

DancingDinosaur · 10/04/2016 22:56

I wouldn't sell it for £200k op. I'll be in a similar position if my dm dies. I figured that I wouldn't profit from the housebut my dc may do one day. Which is fine, after all I never had the money myself anyway, so its not actually a loss.
Can you sell up and buy him out? Sounds like bil is being a tad unreasonable in wanting the lot.

mithy · 10/04/2016 22:57

Your BIL is absolutely taking the piss, he doesn't live in the property, he lives in a £500,000 house elsewhere. Your DH needs to get proper legal advice, the true potential value of the property must be ascertained before any deals are done.

Grabby doesn't come into it, being totally transparent and fair is what counts.

BeckyMcDonald · 10/04/2016 22:57

This thread is unbelievable. OP wants to get a proper valuation, based on potential value, and she's 'grabby.'

BIL gets one valuation, states that's what it's worth, that he wants the lot, a half won't do, he wants to 'live his dream'. I bet he bloody does. Why does he gets to live his dream and the OP's family doesn't?

And of course it's got everything to do with her. I hear so often on these boards that 'it's family money' and each partner should be party to big financial agreements. Well, this is one of those big decisions. If I thought my H was getting royally shafted by his brother again if be in there like a shot.

I'm with you all the way OP.

MillionToOneChances · 10/04/2016 22:59

The attitudes on this thread are appalling. OP's husband has inherited half of a house and 8 acres and had the temerity to ask his own wife and life partner for input on whether his brother may be trying to shaft him (again) by offering only £200k. And for this the OP is slated and cast as nosy and told she should be grateful they're getting 200k? And that the FIL may prefer for BIL to live there? FIL gave BIL the uncle's house free and clear, I personally wouldn't see him as having been impartial.

£200k may be a lot of money, but £500k (or however much) is a lot more. Should OP's DH settle for only £200k to form part of their kids' future inheritance while BIL's family profit again?

And please, no more bitter comment about how you would love £200k because it's not the slightest bit relevant!!

Ramanama · 10/04/2016 23:00

Surely this will all have to be organised legally through a solicitor, who would insist on a proper valuation and future covenants.
This can't be an unusual situation and there must be established procedures and arrangements for inheritances like this.

Yseulte · 10/04/2016 23:01

I think it's a terrible shame to sell off fields for horrid little modern box houses.
Just for a bit of extra moolah.

You have no sentimental attachment to the village, but BIL does.

Hotcrossbunsandcheese · 10/04/2016 23:02

The point is that the asset will have been valued for probate????

WeAllHaveWings · 10/04/2016 23:04

The covenant idea is unfair.

So BIL gets to live his dream. What about the OP's dh's dreams that could be realised if the full potential value was split evenly now.

Enquirers into full potential value should be done before any decision is made, then BIL given the first refusal on buying out

Primaryteach87 · 10/04/2016 23:04

Bil would surely be devastated if you sold it off to developers if it's his childhood home and he wants to live there? My feeling on this is that it's your DH's call since it's his brother and inheritance.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 10/04/2016 23:04

I don't think yabu op and you got a lot of unnecessary flack here I think.

I often read threads here where I think the first few posts dictate the whole tone of the thread, had some of the replies on this page come first I think you would have got nicer/less harsh replies but it's like people have seriously jumped on the band wagon.

Every other thread on here is "family money" this and that except when someone you know donkeys years dies, were your family too and the money could effect your kids futures not then oh no then your a mercanary bitch standing over a warm coffin with a calculater

peggyundercrackers · 10/04/2016 23:05

Hotcross no it's not been valued for probate - BiL got someone in to value it for him and has asked OP for half of that value.

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