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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not agree with sleepovers for kids aged under 5 or even slightly older?!

71 replies

MigraineMartie · 09/04/2016 22:49

Am I crazy?
I am a 35 year old mother, normal enough I would say!
Yet I just can't seem to agree with my family on this subject who think the children ( aged 4 and a baby ) should be staying over at cousins etc for sleepovers by now - in particular the 4 year old DD
I don't know how she would be as generally she is always in our care, we have quite an attachment parenting relationship if you like so aside from pre school and school come September she is with us in all that we do.
I don't feel like she misses out on anything, and she's never asked to stay anywhere without us although has started to question why cousins stay at grandparents and she doesn't but more in a confused sense rather than envy and when asked if she would like to always asks why we would need to leave her instead of taking her home with us.
Am I alone in my view that it's not needed and actually 4 is very young for this anyway?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 09/04/2016 22:54

It's up to you, but I would say sleepovers are probably the favourite thing in the world my girls do (started around 4).

I didnt realise it wasn't the done thing until dd1 asked for a sleepover for her 5th birthday party. I said fine, and duly invited 6 of her friends. The parents were 'wtaf?' And I discovered my faux pax and changed it to a pyjama party.

parissont · 09/04/2016 22:56

I agree. I don't see any need for them at an age where the hosting parent has to put loads of effort in.

From 9 onwards they can amuse themselves so sleepovers ok

Itinerary · 09/04/2016 22:57

If you're not happy with it at this stage, your family should respect your wishes.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 09/04/2016 22:57

Jeez! 'Sleepovers' where? In strangers homes? Yanbu

But lots of MNers LOVE sleepovers so you will probably get shouted down

PacificDogwod · 09/04/2016 22:58

Of course it's not needed, but can be fun.
All depends on the child involved rather than one specific age cut-off IMO.

Ameliablue · 09/04/2016 22:58

It obviously isn't necessary but there is also nothing wrong with it particularly with cousins.

Skivvywoman · 09/04/2016 22:59

I wouldn't mind my kids having a sleepover with family but each to there own,

But I hate sleepovers when dd asks for friends to stay i always have an excuse ready lol

edwinbear · 09/04/2016 23:00

Dd (4) and ds (6) have sleepovers with their cousins but they are being taken care of by my dsis to whom we are very close. We have had a 6 yr old friend of ds over for a sleepover but again the parents are good friends too so we see them a lot. I don't think 4 yr old dd is ready for a non family one, although she would disagree as she is an independent little madam Grin

Chippednailvarnish · 09/04/2016 23:01

My 4 year old and her best friend beg to have sleepovers. They love them...

HughGrantsHair · 09/04/2016 23:01

Surely sleepovers at family member's homes aren't as bad at that age if the child wants to. They know the adults at least.

I wouldn't do friend sleepovers at that age.

Itsmine · 09/04/2016 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ameliablue · 09/04/2016 23:02

Mumontherun it wasn't strangers, it was family which I think is entirely different.

lorisparkle · 09/04/2016 23:02

I think there is a difference between 'sleepovers' and staying with family. My DS have been staying with grandma since they were toddlers - a very popular occasion for both them and DH and me. However none have them have been to sleepover at a friends house although DS1 and DS2 have been on Beaver camps and cub camps. BUT it is entirely up to you however I do know my friend is very concerned because her DS who will be 10yrs old is due to go on a 5 day school residential and he has never been looked after by anyone other than her and preschool/school.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/04/2016 23:04

I'm fairly lentil weavery myself, but my DC started staying over at Nana's house once they were 3 or 4 yrs old (once they reliably slept through the night).

Sleep overs with friends are different. Oldest has had a couple from age 8, youngest is 7 and hasn't yet.

Lumpylumperson · 09/04/2016 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheeseAndOnionWalkers · 09/04/2016 23:04

No need imo.

Mine started in juniors. By then most kids are out of night time pullups, used to being left for parties and have got to know their classmates families (asssuming they started at school in Reception) so it becomes fun for them.

goodenoughmum88 · 09/04/2016 23:05

A group of 4/5 year olds all "sleeping" over?!? What fresh hell is this?!?! No way, not on your Nellie! Recipe for insanity!

Rainbowlou1 · 09/04/2016 23:07

My dd had sleepovers with cousins from about 4, friends from 10 I think?
My ds is 7 and wouldn't sleep away from home if you paid him!! (Still won't be left at parties!)

UmbongoUnchained · 09/04/2016 23:08

My daughter has been having sleep overs with my parents and my brothers since she was a few weeks old!

Sandbrook · 09/04/2016 23:12

My lot have always had sleepovers at cousins. Regular occurrence as we all babysit for each other.

No friends sleepovers until they are over 8.

madamginger · 09/04/2016 23:12

My DCs have slept at grandmas house lots of times from being toddlers, usually if DH and I are working and she is watching them the next day, but not a chance for friends until juniors and even then it's 50/50!

TooMuchRain · 09/04/2016 23:14

I wouldn't consider staying with family a 'sleepover', that's just staying with family and normal from very early on for us.

Original poster
MigraineMartie · 09/04/2016 23:17

Neither set of grandparents do babysitting at all actually - zero I mean, not an hour here and there, nothing
They do it when really pushed into a corner but would never willingly offer and we have never asked so ours have always been in our care apart from DD and started school nursery in September
This is actually fine with us although not so find with siblings on both sides who think they should do more

OP posts:
Itsmine · 09/04/2016 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paxillin · 09/04/2016 23:21

Mine loved them from about 5yo, I know kids who still hate sleepovers aged 9. You know your dd. She will ask when she's ready.

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