To think that I should be allowed to keep my books on our bookcase?

[EdithSimcox]

I never venture onto AIBU. Be gentle.

My DP doesn't approve of some of my books and has removed them from the bookcase. She says she doesn't want 'any of that shit around' (religion).

I think it's outrageous censorship, she thinks it's her right. Is SIBU or am I?

"Well I wouldn't want religious texts all over my house either, so I do understand how she feels about it being her right to not be surrounded by them. That said, if it's your religion, unless you've suddenly found a faith out of the blue, surely this isn't a new thing; why is it now an issue?"

A few books on a bookshelf would bother you? Why on earth?

""It depends....do you mind telling us what the titles are?
It doesn't matter what the titles are""
""A few books on a bookshelf would bother you? Why on earth?""

If they were against abortion, gay marriage, condemning the production of children outside of marriage, or from a religion that believed children could be possessed and therefor needed to be left to starve, or have the demons beaten out of them. I think it would matter.

Religions have rules and it allows harsh punishment and even the killing of people who don't follow the rules.

Until I joined MN, I never realised how people judged you on your choice or lack of books, in your living room.

This isn't about books though, the issues are bigger than that.

Get your own bookcase.

her right not to be surrounded by them that's such BS. Why are so many things vaunted as 'rights' - what about the OPs 'right' to display her books?! Why would dp trump op?!

Truth is neither of you have a 'right' but she is being a complete twat, if she cannot accept this side of you why is she with you?

Thanks birds that's exactly what I meant by it. Fire and Brimstone type titles

I still think the problem is with the person and their beliefs and behaviours, not the books. So incompatibility between two people in this case.

It's easy to accept all sorts of books in the spirit of curiosity, academic enquiry or even interest that is sympathetic to an aspect of work or recognises its significance in some way, that would make you very wary if you thought the owner took their message at face value. e.g. I'm sure I've lived in houses that had Mein Kampf, biographies of Stalin, Mao's Red Book and works of the Marquis de Sade on the shelves, without batting an eyelid. Alignment with the content of any of those, at a face value level, would disturb me enormously.

Censoring someones book choices is akin to censoring their thoughts. To tell someone their book choices are unacceptable and unwelcome, is to my mind telling them THEY are unacceptable and unwelcome.

Depends on the book! If it was Scientology or diabetics she might have a point lol (joking!)
Seriously i don't think it's right that your views appear less important than hers. X

Dianetics not diabetics!!! Doh!

Because I disagree with systematic religion as a whole. It causes more harm than good, and I wouldn't want them in my house. I respect that other people who are religious would want them in their home, but I wouldn't want them out in my own. Don't think that's particularly outrageous. But I also wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who had such opposing views to mine, as we simply wouldn't work well together with something so huge as religious being a disputed point.

I also asked why this was now an issue, as if you've entered into a relationship with someone knowing they were religious, it wouldn't make any sense to one day suddenly wake up and want all the books out of sight. So I wonder what has happened for this reaction.

I have to say I think that all the posters who say 'I would never be in a relationship with someone like this' aren't noticing that people change their views. When I met DH, he was religious. He is now an atheist. What would you do if the person you lived with changed their views and became religious, perhaps in your view very religious? Would you really censor their books and refuse to have them in the house?? Really?

I wouldn't censor their books and not allow them in the house- but as I have said on other threads by the OP I would have to seriously rethink the relItionship. The OP's partner is wrong to try to control her- but the OP has to accept that the relationship might be now be untenable for her partner.

Havent you written about her before? Stop treating every instance she tries to control you as isolated incidents and see them for the pattern of entitled, superior fuckwittery they are. The only thing you get from banging your head against a brick wall, is a headache.

What would you do if the person you lived with changed their views and became religious, perhaps in your view very religious?

Total digression, but this thread's made me think about it afresh. I would have to reconsider the relationship. I'd probably have to end it. I can fence-sit on politics or religion in social settings, but major differences on the matter in an intimate relationship would feel like a chasm to me.

I own copies of Mein Kampf and the Bible, though!

I'm an agnostic / atheist but I wouldn't be offended in the least by a partner or visitor putting Bibles, Korans, religious papers etc in the bookcase. Live and let live
Freedom of religion is an internationally recognised Human Right for good reason

Her behaviour would only be acceptable if you refer to those books while criticising behaviour / telling others what to do / droning on for England about the contents.
Assuming you don't, then YANBU and SIBU

She's censoring your books and your behaviour. Soon you'll have to lock yourself in the loo to pray.
She must accept your differences or it's DTF (Dump The Fucker)