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AIBU?

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Original poster

In thinking that 4 billion owing in child support is a national disgrace?

145 replies

CreviceImp · 08/04/2016 12:50

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/absent-parents-owe-4bn-overdue-7025101

Scandalous....

Make the Petition section on here something you visit regularly.

OP posts:
MeMySonAndl · 08/04/2016 23:30

I think that is disgraceful, but it seems that when it comes to single mothers, it is the common consensus that we deserve it some way or another. Not even Mumsnet has been interested in supporting a campaign about this.

Pisssssedofff · 08/04/2016 23:32

That is the jist isn't it. Even though her ex husband screwed her over my ex mother in law basically thinks it's ok that her son does it to me. Women seem to be each other's worst enemies

Ouriana · 08/04/2016 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohbehave1 · 08/04/2016 23:39

Cannotlogin. I am not saying anyone should just walk away from their children. What I am saying is that when someone is paying what they can afford and are constantly being hounded for more and more it's wrong.

When the mother of my sf'a children was awarded the house and then promptly sold it and moved into a house that was already fully paid off she was in a position where she needed nothing. And if my sf had ran and hid, she would have been fine as would the kids. But no - he was willing to and did pay a reasonable sum towards his children. But his ex kept claiming poverty and that she couldn't afford to feed or clothe the kids - which was utter bullshit.

If he had got 50% of the house sale it would
have been one thing but he got royally screwed and got nothing. So he had already paid a hefty sum towards his children. And he wanted to and still paid regular cm.

But it seems that he is to be included with those that don't want to pay and that is simply wrong.

Chippednailvarnish · 08/04/2016 23:44

But it seems that he is to be included with those that don't want to pay and that is simply wrong

Nobody has said that, but regardless if how much money the ex allegedly had, he still has to support his children. The fact he ended up financially worse than she did is a separate issue, especially on a thread discussing four billion of unpaid maintainece.

Pisssssedofff · 08/04/2016 23:45

Why would he get half the house ?
If anything had gone wrong with her new relationship she and the kids would have been out on their Arse.
What you're saying is she pleaded poverty and he fell for it, idiot if kind hearted

Ouriana · 08/04/2016 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohbehave1 · 09/04/2016 00:07

Ouriana. This was a few years back and the csa hadn't been invented back then. And I know he was paying more than 25 %. And that the 2nd job he got so we could go on holiday was than taken into consideration so that we couldn't afford to go.

He gave more than his fair share and all he got back was shit.

cannotlogin · 09/04/2016 00:11

I'm sorry, but what you are saying is 'utter bullshit'. Why should anyone not sell a house they own if they want to? Why is it an issue that she had no housing costs? It is rare that assets are split 50/50. There is a lot to consider. It doesn't' mean you've already paid for your children if you receive nothing from a house you previously owned. Children need way more than a roof over their heads.

This is why so many never support their children - there are people standing behind them in the very mistaken belief that they are somehow down trodden and getting a raw deal. I have yet to come across a case where that has been nearly true.

And so yes, you are basically saying it is unreasonable to expect an NRP to make a contribution if the PWC is able to manage.

donajimena · 09/04/2016 00:13

I believe you oh I've seen it first hand.

Ouriana · 09/04/2016 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

donajimena · 09/04/2016 00:22

I speak as someone who has seen it from both sides. I don't receive a penny from my childrens father.

HughGrantsHair · 09/04/2016 00:25

Ohbehave1 - of course if he got a second job he should pay a proportion of that to his children in child maintenance as well. Did he really begrudge paying what he was asked to pay in child maintenance to his child because he missed out on a holiday?

And I'm not sure what you're getting at about "before the CSA". They've had 3 schemes.

The last two take a percentage of the NRPs wages. They cannot take more than 40% in a month and will only take that if they have arrears.

And the scheme before those DID take the RPs income into account.

Pisssssedofff · 09/04/2016 00:30

She's obviously been fed a load of rubbish .... My dad tried it for years too .... He didn't pay because he knew it wouldn't be spent on the kids .... I don't care if my mother wiped her Arse with it it was hers to do with as she pleased had she ever received it !

AyeAmarok · 09/04/2016 00:48

Start with it always being deducted from salary at source.

Arrears which cause financial hardship for the NRP? Good. Better them sufferor ggo without food than the child.

People on JSA should have to pay £20, not 5, per week.

If they don't pay then they lose their driving licence.

Or eventually jail.

Zero tolerance is the only way. And much more effort to tackle the self-employed declaring low/no earnings. It's a scandal that someone can declare two different earnings to different government departmentsor the bank and the Gov just shrug at that.

Ohbehave1 · 09/04/2016 00:50

Cannot login. Let's be blunt here. He paid far more towards his kids, which he was deprived of seeing, and who were turned against him than their mother ever did. If he hadn't paid so much, and gone without his kids wouldn't have had half the stuff they did.

Perhaps if the mother had contributed equally my wonderful stepfather wouldn't have struggled the way he did while she lived the life of Riley. It's nothing to do with not wanting to pay for his kids, it's about equality of what he had compared with their mother. He gave everything for his kids but was (and still seems to be judging by the comments on here) the villain of the piece.

Ohbehave1 · 09/04/2016 00:53

Yes pisssseddddofff. But the difference is your mother never received the money - the sf's ex did. And to say she could wipe her arise with it if she wished, as it is hers to do with as she sees fit shows how skewed your views are. It's money to provide for the kids. Fuck all else.

Pisssssedofff · 09/04/2016 00:57

Your sf paid 25% of his income .... The mother paid 100% of hers .... If I started only giving my kids what he is legally required to pay they would be absolutely fucked. Hungry, cold, bored and not reaching their full potential. So seriously do fuck off you're annoying me now with your nonsense

Ouriana · 09/04/2016 00:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeAmarok · 09/04/2016 01:01

Ohbehave

You're an idiot if you actually believe that contradictory shite you're spouting.

Ohbehave1 · 09/04/2016 01:04

Oh, and pissedoffff. I know what i am talking about. I fucking lived it. And I saw the sacrifices he made for his kids because they were his.

They lived a fucking life of luxury and never wanted for anything, whilst he struggled all his fucking life. You can deny it all you want but I saw it because I was there.

I think you are the one that should fuck off and try walking in someone else's shoes for once. Because your view that a mother can wipe her arse on money that a child's father has worked hard to earn if she wants shows what an immoral person you are. Yes, providing for the children is one thing she could do with it. Supporting her own lifestyle however is another thing.

I totally agree that those that refuse to pay should be hit where it hurts. But as normal it's those that do things the right way that are the ones that suffer.

Ohbehave1 · 09/04/2016 01:11

And you Ayeamorak can't see further than the end of your nose. Every case is different. Yes it is right that a parent doesn't eat if it means their children can. But if their children are not at risk and they are financially in a situation where they can do no more than what good is sending them to jail going to do.

I have never said that those that deliberately try and get out of paying, by that by doing a runner or by false accounting shouldn't be taken to task. But there are also situations where people are left in a situation where they a financially broke and can do nothing about the situation what more can they do? Nothing. Not all fathers are deadbeats - some just fall on hard times and struggle.

Pisssssedofff · 09/04/2016 01:18

Ok let me put it another way .... Your sf contributes 25% of his income and the mother contributes 25% of hers. That leaves them both 75% each left yes ?
If the mothers 75% is a million quid a year and the fathers is £10,000 who would miss out in that scenario ? See in real life what happens is the mother contributes a 100% of her income and usually plenty she doesn't have too by not securing her own future.
Now if your sf fell for a load of rubbish and paid none court ordered additional funds who really does he have to blame for that ?

AyeAmarok · 09/04/2016 01:22

Your SF must have been really shit with budgeting if he couldn't survive on more than 75% of his earnings.

"He struggled all his life"? Because of child support? You don't pay child support once your DC are grown up, you do realise that, yes?

Oswin · 09/04/2016 01:25

How did your stepdad end up paying so much on her lies? I mean I could go into court now and say loads of made up stuff about my ex but if I don't have some proof it went going nowhere.

How much of his wage was he paying. I'm asking because 25 percent is generally the most ordered.

And it really does not matter how much the rp has. The nrp should pay a fair amount in line with his wage.

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