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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Did I overreact calling police? A bit upset

119 replies

alilupset · 07/04/2016 11:37

Name changed as I have told two friends in rl and I know they use mn so don't want previous threads to be identifiable.

This may be long but just to set the scene/give an idea of time

I was at home this morning in the kitchen (back of house) and heard a child screaming, the sort of scream that makes you think "oh that doesn't sound right", if you get me, heard the scream maybe 3 times when I went upstairs to front of the house to look out and across the road I saw a little girl alone, aged about 3, she was bent down and screaming hysterically. I have a dd about the same age so I waited a minute because I couldn't quite see around the corner to see if there was someone with her and maybe she was having a long tantrum been there myself and someone was watching her. After a minute I went outside and actually walked around the corner to check and definitely she was alone and still screaming so I went over and bent down talking to her, was she ok, where was mammy/daddy, poor thing was so upset she came into my arms just sobbing. I lifted her up and went to take her to my house to get my phone when a car sped around the corner, a woman jumped out and grabbed the child off me, she was shouting at the child and it was like I didn't exist, she wasn't going to say anything to me and all I don't think until I said "Is this child yours" and she said "Yes she is I was coming back for her", she got into the car, in the front, with the child on her lap, no seat belt and sped off so fast they didn't even have the car door closed and all the while I can hear the child screaming. So I called the police.

I'm very upset by it. I'm not an overly dramatic person, but I just felt so bad for the child. Now I'm here and one second thinking was I ott ringing the police? I have kids have had my fair share of tantrums and threatened to walk away loads of times but never actually done it so then I think I'm not being ott because who actually leaves their 3 year old on a street corner? I may have been wrong but I think the woman looked more like a grandmother than a mother, not that that makes a difference just in case it is relevant.

OP posts:

LittleNelle · 07/04/2016 18:45

She might be an abusive parent in general, or she might be an adequate parent who just did this one abusive thing, but either way the OP was right to call the police.

Original poster

alilupset · 07/04/2016 20:04

A little bit of an update:

I was out earlier and I saw the car, it's in a house in the estate opposite ours. I don't know the people myself but I think its the child's grandmother, she definitely wasn't her mother.

The car came from the direction of the house, you absolutely cannot see where the little girl was from the house, it would be impossible. What happened before I came along I obviously don't know but they definitely were not waiting around the corner and watching her, they were either walking home and left her there, went to get the car and came back or driving home and let her out of the car either way it was dangerous/reckless.

The police rang me back to say they had been to the house a few times but there was no answer, I told her I had seen the car in the estate, it turned out the car is registered to a different address so they were going to that house, I told her where the car was and she said she would send someone around. On the way back from the school I saw a police car drive into the estate, I ran down the road and by time I got there they were pulling out again so if they were there for that house they must not have answered as there wasn't time.

So I don't know anything much of the little girl but I know where the adults live and now the police do too for sure. The police woman was lovely on the phone and we had a bit of a chat, I feel better now for having rang, even if it is just to have them in the system as a pp said.

Thanks all for the support today

OP posts:

Passmethecrisps · 07/04/2016 20:10

Jeepers it all sounds very unpleasant. I am glad the police officer was supportive.

lem73 · 07/04/2016 20:15

Well done Op. I bloody hope the police do something with this. Poor little girl.

boybabies · 08/04/2016 12:51

Another cop here.
Totally the right thing to do.
If it's a one off error of judgement by the adult then they will have to reflect on that when visited by police. If it's another incident within a troubled family it will help build a picture of what additional services they might need to better cope and safeguard that child.
Well done op, now don't put yourself at risk by paying too much attention to their address. Not everyone appreciates intervention.

PegsPigs · 08/04/2016 13:03

I'm pleased you know the police took your report seriously and are acting on it. Well done for speaking up for the little girl.

nockneedanknackered · 08/04/2016 13:08

you definitely did the right thing and showed great presence of mind in noting the registration number.
who in their right mind leaves a 3 yr old alone at the roadside.
when, or if, the police re-contact you, ask them if they have informed social services, as this child appears to be suffering at least emotional and physical neglect and there could be other welfare issues.
driving off like that without strapping the child in a child seat shows alarming disregard for her safety. driving at such haste makes you wonder what could be amiss.
did you dial 999, 101 ( which is a waste of time due to the fact that they rarely answer the phone within 20 minutes ) or just the local police station?
Were you given a log number when you phoned the incident in to the police?
have you got the officers collar number who attended the scene?
if not you can still get these by phoning your police headquarters and request the information. all they need is the time and date you reported the incident.

Moxxygirl · 08/04/2016 13:19

Curious - what did the Police do ?

Moxxygirl · 08/04/2016 13:20

Oops - ignore - just seen update .

Theimpossiblegirl · 08/04/2016 13:25

Well done OP, you absolutely did the right thing.

If I could send real ones I would.

Woodenmouse · 08/04/2016 13:31

I'm so glad they are following it up! Poor girl.
I hope you're ok now op.

BrieAndChilli · 08/04/2016 13:38

No matter what the outcome with the police, be assured that your kindness to the little girl will always be remembered by her, my mother did something similar although I was a bit older, about 5, she made me get out of the car in a country lay by in the dark and drove off, it may have only been for a minute but to me it seemed like ages.
The terror you feel is immense, I can still remember how I felt to this day and I know if someone had come past and stopped for me and given me a cuddle it would have meant the world to know people can be kind.

Valentine2 · 08/04/2016 14:08

Of course you did the right thing.
The story of those two girls who killed this vulnerable woman in her house and got jailed for 15 years yesterday highlights how intervention could have helped may be. The mother of one of the girls (she was to stay with her mother that nighty) told her daughter that night to "fuck off and get killed " or something like it.
What kind of woman would do this to her child?

MintyBojingles · 08/04/2016 14:19

YWDNBU. Who the hell leaves a 3 year old by the side of the road unattended.

However agree with PP. don't go peering at their house/car. You don't want to draw attention to yourself or where you live. Leave the investigations to the authorities.

whatkatiedidnext31 · 08/04/2016 17:35

Totally did the right thing...if not you would be running it over and over in your mind and would have regretted not calling.
I'm a massive softie when it comes to children and hate it when you see people shouting at kids...

Well done you and I hope they feel like shit that they've had the police round...

Helencandy28 · 08/04/2016 21:06

You did the right thing, anything could have happened to the poor little girl. If I had been her parent or grandparent I would have be so relieved someone like you had found my little girl. Better to be safe and call the police. If anything happened to her you'd never forgive yourself.

AuntyElle · 08/04/2016 21:34

BrieAndChilli

GeordieBadger · 08/04/2016 22:15

Any update?

MrsGS · 08/04/2016 22:32

I'd do same thing. Have you heard from the police yet?

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