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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Did I overreact calling police? A bit upset

119 replies

alilupset · 07/04/2016 11:37

Name changed as I have told two friends in rl and I know they use mn so don't want previous threads to be identifiable.

This may be long but just to set the scene/give an idea of time

I was at home this morning in the kitchen (back of house) and heard a child screaming, the sort of scream that makes you think "oh that doesn't sound right", if you get me, heard the scream maybe 3 times when I went upstairs to front of the house to look out and across the road I saw a little girl alone, aged about 3, she was bent down and screaming hysterically. I have a dd about the same age so I waited a minute because I couldn't quite see around the corner to see if there was someone with her and maybe she was having a long tantrum been there myself and someone was watching her. After a minute I went outside and actually walked around the corner to check and definitely she was alone and still screaming so I went over and bent down talking to her, was she ok, where was mammy/daddy, poor thing was so upset she came into my arms just sobbing. I lifted her up and went to take her to my house to get my phone when a car sped around the corner, a woman jumped out and grabbed the child off me, she was shouting at the child and it was like I didn't exist, she wasn't going to say anything to me and all I don't think until I said "Is this child yours" and she said "Yes she is I was coming back for her", she got into the car, in the front, with the child on her lap, no seat belt and sped off so fast they didn't even have the car door closed and all the while I can hear the child screaming. So I called the police.

I'm very upset by it. I'm not an overly dramatic person, but I just felt so bad for the child. Now I'm here and one second thinking was I ott ringing the police? I have kids have had my fair share of tantrums and threatened to walk away loads of times but never actually done it so then I think I'm not being ott because who actually leaves their 3 year old on a street corner? I may have been wrong but I think the woman looked more like a grandmother than a mother, not that that makes a difference just in case it is relevant.

OP posts:

Buzzardbird · 07/04/2016 12:17

Well, apart from the appalling behaviour, she was also breaking the law (on several counts), so there is no way you could be doing the wrong thing is there?

Jackiebrambles · 07/04/2016 12:18

Definitely did the right thing, but I'd probably have second guessed myself too! Well done you. Hope you get a good update from the police.

Original poster

alilupset · 07/04/2016 12:20

Thanks everyone you are right I wasn't OTT, at best it was a tantrum that got completely out of control but that could have had terrible consequences so hopefully they will get a wake up call.

findingmyfeet that is a good way to look at it, I would rather be cautious and call than something happen and live with the regret that I didn't.

*Bloodydoghairs" that must have been awful if she was charged, the poor child!

The woman didn't look like you would mess with her, dh is gone out and he left with the parting words "If your going out change your jacket or she will know who you are", he was joking but eh ya thanks for that dh!!

OP posts:

PPie10 · 07/04/2016 12:22

Yanbu and did the absolute right thing.

I can't imagine under what circumstances she left the poor child in that situation. Horrid woman .

Sparklycat · 07/04/2016 12:22

Oh goodness of course you did the right thing! She left her child unattended and then drove off with her sitting in her lap! Awful! The poor little thing

Original poster

alilupset · 07/04/2016 12:23

PooBearsHole That's what I said to dh, that I would never leave my child like that but trying to imagine it being a mother just pushed to the end of her tether then I would have imagined her coming around the corner upset/apologetic/thankful, just completely different to this woman, who I really don't think would have acknowledged me at all only I managed to stutter out "Is this your child", she was just grabbing her out of my arms but it was like I wasn't there, very strange

OP posts:

dizzytomato · 07/04/2016 12:23

She left a three year old alone in the street and long enough for you to go to her and to pick her up!?! I am not usually one to over react but what if you had been someone else, someone with a car and a sinister motive. She abandoned her child.

You 100% did the right thing. What a traumatic experience for the poor child.

Original poster

alilupset · 07/04/2016 12:25

Thanks everyone, you have made me feel better. I hope the police do call back. If not I wonder if I call tomorrow/later would they tell me what happened, not necessarily going into specifics but just reassure me that she is ok and they have been spoken to

OP posts:

Mishaps · 07/04/2016 12:25

You did absolutely the right thing - well done you.

Nothing about what happened to that child is acceptable and she needs protection. You did well to play your part.

TwoLittleBlooms · 07/04/2016 12:27

YADNBU, you did the right thing, poor little girl

curren · 07/04/2016 12:31

Yanbu. You did the right thing 100%

findingmyfeet12 · 07/04/2016 12:31

I'm presuming that this woman wasn't driving the car but was sitting in the front passenger seat?

If this is the case then it seems two adults were involved in this behaviour - I think that makes it much worse.

Elle80 · 07/04/2016 12:35

You definitely did the right thing OP. It felt very wrong to you and you had to act on it. The police will not think you are wasting their time. Well done

Natsku · 07/04/2016 12:36

Definitely the right thing to do, and well done for getting the numberplate, impressive - I'd have been too "whaaa???" to think of looking at the numberplate!

Tatiana11235 · 07/04/2016 12:42

You did the right thing.

Poor little girl, nobody screamd and sobs like that for nothing

Clawdy · 07/04/2016 12:46

You certainly did all the right things, well done. I would have been uneasy about taking her into my house though, luckily it didn't get to that stage.

Fevertree · 07/04/2016 12:47

Just wanted to add well bloody done you did a good thing

LifeofI · 07/04/2016 12:49

No way! You 100% did the right thing!

LagunaBubbles · 07/04/2016 12:50

Of course you did the right thing!

Original poster

alilupset · 07/04/2016 12:50

Yes two adults in the car findingmefeet

I'm surprised I thought of the reg myself actually, I was just left standing there and they took off on a straight road so I could see it for a bit anyway, it took a few seconds to dawn on me even.

Clawdy I wouldn't have taken her into my house just over to my door to get my phone, dh had come out of the house at that stage so we would have been totally visible from the front door and no need for me to go in at all

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 07/04/2016 12:50

Yes, I would have rung without hesitation. It sounds pretty dodgy to me. If there is an innocent explanation the police can deal with that.

FuriousFate · 07/04/2016 12:51

I think you did the right thing to call 999. My main concern though would be whether the 'mother' was genuinely anything to do with the child. Did the child recognise her? Would she be safe with her (obvs not by the sound of things). For all you know, she could have been a predatory opportunist. Ok, probably unlikely, but not impossible. Was there anyone else around? I'd have been tempted to attract attention and say that something wasn't right and could someone call the police there and then.

A friend left her pram with her baby in at the end of the aisle in a local supermarket, turned her back for a second to get something off the shelf, staff took the pram and child to customer services, and refused to give him back until she could 'prove' (via pics on her phone) that he was hers!

FuriousFate · 07/04/2016 12:54

Just to add - I'm not criticizing what you did as it obviously all happened very quickly. I just keep thinking of that scene in Room when the little boy is trying to attract attention after he's managed to escape and thankfully someone intervenes.

GlitteryFluff · 07/04/2016 12:57

Yes, you did the right thing imo.

Friendlystories · 07/04/2016 12:58

Absolutely the right thing to do OP, your post made me go cold, poor child

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