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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did I overreact calling police? A bit upset

119 replies

alilupset · 07/04/2016 11:37

Name changed as I have told two friends in rl and I know they use mn so don't want previous threads to be identifiable.

This may be long but just to set the scene/give an idea of time

I was at home this morning in the kitchen (back of house) and heard a child screaming, the sort of scream that makes you think "oh that doesn't sound right", if you get me, heard the scream maybe 3 times when I went upstairs to front of the house to look out and across the road I saw a little girl alone, aged about 3, she was bent down and screaming hysterically. I have a dd about the same age so I waited a minute because I couldn't quite see around the corner to see if there was someone with her and maybe she was having a long tantrum been there myself and someone was watching her. After a minute I went outside and actually walked around the corner to check and definitely she was alone and still screaming so I went over and bent down talking to her, was she ok, where was mammy/daddy, poor thing was so upset she came into my arms just sobbing. I lifted her up and went to take her to my house to get my phone when a car sped around the corner, a woman jumped out and grabbed the child off me, she was shouting at the child and it was like I didn't exist, she wasn't going to say anything to me and all I don't think until I said "Is this child yours" and she said "Yes she is I was coming back for her", she got into the car, in the front, with the child on her lap, no seat belt and sped off so fast they didn't even have the car door closed and all the while I can hear the child screaming. So I called the police.

I'm very upset by it. I'm not an overly dramatic person, but I just felt so bad for the child. Now I'm here and one second thinking was I ott ringing the police? I have kids have had my fair share of tantrums and threatened to walk away loads of times but never actually done it so then I think I'm not being ott because who actually leaves their 3 year old on a street corner? I may have been wrong but I think the woman looked more like a grandmother than a mother, not that that makes a difference just in case it is relevant.

OP posts:
Woodenmouse · 07/04/2016 12:59

That's awful you definitely did the right thing. I hope the little girl is ok poor thing!!

specialsubject · 07/04/2016 12:59

well done, OP. Whatever is going on isn't right.

and you definitely saw a child being endangered by being driven off at speed with no belt and no seat. If they have to stop suddenly the child will probably be killed.

purplepandas · 07/04/2016 13:06

You absolutely did the right thing. Well done Op.

bakeoffcake · 07/04/2016 13:10

I've have done exactly the same thing only last year.

A man was literally dragging a 3 or 4 year old along the pavement. She was screaming "I want my mummy" hysterically. I went over and asked if everything was ok and if that was his child. He said "fuck off" got into a car and almost ran me over whilst reversing. A passerby got the reg number and I phoned the police.

They very quickly tracked him down, went to his home address. It was his daughter but the police said I'd done the right thing and had had a word with him about the way he was dragging his dd.

You did the right thing opFlowers

Hygge · 07/04/2016 13:13

I had a reason to call the police last year because I was concerned for the safety of a woman in the street.

The police would rather have you call them so they can make a judgement themselves, if you are genuinely concerned they would rather hear from you than not.

Unicow · 07/04/2016 13:18

You definitely did the right thing. Hope the little girl is ok.

amarmai · 07/04/2016 13:21

bet you weren't the only person hearing the child screaming,op,but you were the one who cared enuf to act .Doubt i wd have been clear headed enuf to get the licence # . Hope somebody like you is around if i need help!

LifeCrossRoad · 07/04/2016 13:21

You did the right thing completely

MartinaJ · 07/04/2016 13:24

You absolutely did the right thing and should be beating yourself over it.

Threefaries · 07/04/2016 13:31

Poor little girl. Thank goodness you managed to get the number plate and did report this awful incident.

Momamum · 07/04/2016 13:32

Christ! I've gone cold thinking about an alternative scenario, that someone else could have picked her up to comfort her before you took action and hey! An abduction just waiting to happen Shock

I'm so pleased you did what you did, that you took her Reg.no. And yes, I hope that she gets more than just a talking-to. Angry

You did good.Star

EweAreHere · 07/04/2016 13:34

You did the right thing. What if she'd run in to the street chasing the car? She could have been killed! And now speeding off in someone's lap without a seatbelt? Someone who was clearly unhinged and angry ... more likely to misjudge driving skills under those conditions ... at risk of serious injury.

I hope the police find her.

ScarletOverkill · 07/04/2016 13:41

Let's hope the car is registered with the DVLA so the police have an address to go to!

Justmeagain78 · 07/04/2016 13:49

You did the right thing - it sounds like you witnessed either abuse or abduction and the police need to know. Well done you.

Oysterbabe · 07/04/2016 13:56

Place marking for update.

AugustaFinkNottle · 07/04/2016 14:01

Where was your child while this was going on?

Nishky · 07/04/2016 14:02

Augusta the op mentioned her dh was home. Perhaps with the other parent

Odd question

Bogeyface · 07/04/2016 14:04

Where was your child while this was going on?

Safe in the house with her DH given that the OP said that he had come to the door by the time she had got the child.

But nice attempt....

CockacidalManiac · 07/04/2016 14:06

You did fantastically well, especially getting the number plate too.

contrary13 · 07/04/2016 14:12

You did the right thing, OP.

I'm horrified, though, at what happened. What sort of parent/grandparent disappears from the sight of their toddler enough that a concerned adult can't locate them immediately (ie, they weren't hiding around the corner, keeping a watchful eye on her)? That poor little girl.

The police will alert children's services, though, who will get involved. Hopefully they'll be able to help that poor mite. And hopefully, through your quick thinking, that little girl will never have to go through anything so traumatic again (because, to a toddler, that sort of thing would have been traumatic!)

ridingabike · 07/04/2016 14:12

if you think back to many high profile crimes (Bulger killing etc) there are often sightings by members of the public who come forward after the tragic event but do nothing at the time

very true - Caroline Hogg in Glasgow is another example

Justmeagain78 · 07/04/2016 14:15

contrary the op only had the individual's word that the child belonged to her.

Marmite75 · 07/04/2016 14:16

Well done OP. I had to call the police last year as I saw a couple fighting with a baby in a buggy and dragging a toddler by the arm across the road.

I so hope police inform Children's services. Doesn't sound as though that child should be looked after by whoever pulled her from you. Poor girl.

30daySHO · 07/04/2016 14:19

Yes you did the right thing OP.

Having not phoned the police ever in my life I've ended up calling them twice in the last 24hrs for two different things! Both times I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but I'm glad I did. Do the police give updates? I haven't heard anything about my calls

WannaBe · 07/04/2016 14:21

I'm going to go against the grain slightly here. I don't think that OP was in the wrong to have called the police, but for those saying that this woman is possibly abusing her child etc there is another possibility:

It's possible that she perhaps did drive away from the child having a tantrum but parked around the corner where she could see the child but the child couldn't see her. And suddenly someone approached the child and picked her up and she panicked, realising that this stranger could potentially disappear with her child in a matter of seconds hence speeding back round the corner, grabbing the child and then driving off.

Hopefully the police will go round and speak to her and establish what happened, but IMO we all have the capacity to do irrational things when having reached the end of our teather with a tantrum ing child, only to realise with a jolt that something could go wrong if you e.g. Leave your child screaming and disappear out of sight....

The op witnessed just a snapshot of this woman's life. And equally the mother may have reached the end of her teather and suddenly seen her DD's life flash before her as a stranger picked her up and could have been able to walk off with her.

She may be a shit parent, or she may have just reached the end of her teather after weeks and weeks of tantrums. We don't know.

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